My parents (particularly my Mother) are controlling my life

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I feel trapped. I am unable to do things that I want to. I cannot make my own decisions in many situations as my mother will speak for me.
She acts like she knows me really well even though I do not feel close to her at all.
She spoke for me when she contacted the GP to speak about me and my mental health never letting me say anything once. She never asked me for my input and answered a lot of questions wrong or simply downplays my experience.
She constantly talk about me to people in a way that makes my issues seem like nothing and puts everything down to hormones and phases I will grow out of. She says I do not have it hard enough.
She does not at all understand me at all and it makes me feel awful.
I feel scared to speak to her about it because I am scared to go against her. I do not even speak my own opinion on things that do not matter and always agree with her even when i do not.
I feel like my life is being controlled and I cannot do anything about it.
I feel like non of my needs are being met and I do not know how to make that change.
I feel like I am often being infantilised especially since I never get to speak for myself.
I do not know what to do. I have planned over talking to her many times but I know that conversation will never happen because I am too afraid and there is no way for me to get rid of that fear.
I expect this is not very concise but I wrote it as I thought and may have forgotten some things.
There is just a lot going on right now in my head and I am finding it hard to deal with it after hiding them for so long. I have reached a point where I do not feel I can keep going. But I am terrified of what will happen when my mask breaks.

I'm not likely a great person to respond here, but first and perhaps most importantly, I hear you.

I'm not sure where you are living or how old you are...these things can be really important when it comes to what to do to better help yourself. I live in the states and as it goes, a lot of times here you don't have much control in your own life until you are 18 or close to it. Not knowing any of that info, I'd recommend that you print out what you wrote here or if you don't have access to a printer, just hand write a note that says exactly what you said here. Then the next time you go to your gp or mental health person, hand them the note. Don't let anyone know you wrote it beforehand so they can't take it. Any gp or mental health professional worth anything will read your words and work with you to not only promote better communication between you and your mother, but also help you find ways to be more proactive in your own life. Important stuff there and you seem like you can't keep this up much longer and that's concerning. Someone needs to know so they can help you and if that person isn't family, you might just want to skip them and go straight to the gp/therapist/whatever. My two cents.

That sounds like a rough spot to be in, to say the least. Sorry I'm not the best with words, and if I had better supportive things to say, I would say them. I do wish you well in this and I hope things can improve for you sooner than later.

Your mom might feel she's working hard to protect you and advocate for you. Maybe she doesn't want her baby to worry about anything and wasn't aware that you're grown up and wish to be more independent. If you guys don't communicate I don't know how she can possibly know how you feel.

Home should be your haven and where you don't have to pretend to be someone else. I'd have a talk to her, write some notes before hand so you don't lose your points. It might feel awkward and anxiety-inducing, but if you ever want to control your own life, you need to get used to facing obstacles.

First, find out how she started gaining control of your life to begin with.

In my case, my sister and my mother controlled my life. It all started because I am terrified of driving, and in Orlando, Florida, where we were back in the 90s, you need to drive to have a life.

Here in Panama, I can walk or get on a bus, or the subway, or take a cab, so they don't control my life that much. Sometimes I rely on them to make decisions, but I have to be careful because they can easily take control of my life again.

You need to make yourself less dependable on her. What are the things that you cannot do that she can do for you? Try to do them yourself. It may be tough for an autistic person to take more control of your life. If you can't get a therapist, at least start reading more books about autism.

I am sorry to hear that your dog died. She has been with you for a number of years. I have had cats and dogs for most of my life. But they do not live forever. When they pass away, I will normally get one to replace them. Getting a new animal may help relieve a little bit of the stress that you are going through at the moment. Even though you say that you do not feel their loss deep inside you, I suspect getting a new dog will help relieve some of the loss.

You have created 5 messages on the site but never responded to anything that anyone has written. Generally a site provides a type of communications. So I will recommend that you read what others have said and then RESPOND.

Since you indicated an inability to respond to what your mother and siblings say and do, this site may offer a place for you to speak your thoughts.

I can generally write much better than I can speak. Perhaps you may be able to do this likewise. You might give it a go and try communicating in writing. You have many feelings but you are not communicating them to anyone (except on this site). So this is another way to communicate. You might start out by communicating with your siblings first. Make it a little easy. Build the approach piece by piece.

are you an adult? I am guessing you are living with your family? Do you have a therapist? If you don't have a therapist get one and look into learning healthy 'self assertive' behavior and communication.
I was completely controlled by my parents and family and taught not to question them, to be instantly obedient.

I learned at age 30 that I could choose other ways to respond to any other individual in any situation, that I could choose how to respond to their directions, accusations, etc in other ways besides the one I had been trained to all my life.

What a huge feeling of freedom and peace when I learned I could make choices and be my own person despite their controlling family patterns. therapist used a book with me since I am a reader. "when I say NO I feel Guilty" by manuel J Smith. It is available as a pdf free on line and also as a youtube video. you can get it in any used book venue very inexpensively. It is out of print now but I was able to understand and use the techniques taught to recognize when I was being guilted, manipulated, intimidated, etc, how to set boundaries, and how to say NO in healthy self assertive ways. Getting counseling to learn these healthy communication techniques was the best thing I ever did for myself. It saved my life and my sanity. I hope it might help you too.