I am too dumb to function in society

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I am a 27 year old guy and I have self-diagnosed autism. I struggle very much with basic social skills, I never had any friends, got bullied my whole life for being socially ret*d and can't pass a job interview. Things are getting bad to worse because my parents are reaching old age and even if they don't kick me out for being jobless, soon I will get more responsibilities that require me to have better social skills. The problem is I am so socially ret*d that I don't understand how to get the most basic things done. Most people mention 'social skills' when they are struggling to make friends or find a date. For me, it's so bad that I don't even have the ability to survive in society on my own.

Even at age of 27, I depend on my parents for everything. I don't have most basic life or social skills necessary to live, like I don't understand how to navigate the hospital or police system, I don't know how banking works, how the legal system works, how to buy a car, how to get a loan, where to buy items that I can't find near me, how to sell property, how to get a visa to go to another country, what to do if I get in an accident, heck I don't even know what procedures to take if my parents die. I basically don't know jack s**t. I live with my parents and depend on them for everything. I need to become independent but I don't know a lot of things normal people know by my age. It's like I am a 5 year old mentally and socially.

I don't know what to do at this point. I am so socially disconnected that I don't know how anything works in this world and I don't know how to get the most basic things done to survive in this society. I don't want to kill myself but at this point I have no choice if I can't magically reach a normal level of social capability. I don't understand how everyone else seems to have figured it all out and only I am struggling with the basics.

Well, you identified a bunch of things that would help you gain independence, take one that's the most pressing and study it. Even if you don't get all of it, just pick up as much as you can.

And a little secret, most people don't know how all those things work. There are experts that spend their whole lives learning them. The rest of us just fake it, fall flat on our faces, get back up and try again.

Has anyone tried to teach you these things? If not, then I think it might be too early for you to say that you're too dumb to function in society. It's true that some people can figure these types of things out as they go and that some can learn by reading about them, but some, like me, need to be shown how most things work in order to learn. I know how to handle stuff with the bank, but only because my mom started teaching when I was fifteen! It took me a couple of years to get a hang of it, and even then, I didn't really know what to do to get a loan a few years back, so I had to ask advice from my mom, half sister and the bank. Not that the last one's bad; part of their job in there is to help customers with this stuff. Maybe you could get an appointment at your local bank so they could teach you the basics? You don't need to learn how to get a loan until it's actually necessary.

I don't know where to start to get a visa to visit another country, either... probably google if I need one for my destination in the first place? That's always a start, and I'd think that the place that gives those out would give advise on that.

If my parents died? I'd ask my sisters what to do 'cause I have no idea. Do you have siblings?

Anyway, I noticed that you didn't say anything about basic household skills (cooking, cleaning etc.) Can you handle those? If so, then that is a start; there are people your age and older who can't handle those things.

I think you're overestimating how much other people know and can do. Those things you are talking about are quite specific, and things that you only really know after you have done them. If you have never been to a car shop then why would you know to go there?

More important skills are:

- remembering to eat three meals a day, including vegetables

- remembering to wash

- going to the toilet when you have the need, and taking all the necessary steps to be hygienic.

- dressing yourself sensibly for the weather and your planned activities

- doing grocery shopping at a supermarket in line with a budget

You don't need to know "how banks work" other than you keep money in them and can spend it using a debit card.

You can always read up on those things.

Due to poverty and social isolation, I had very little experience with the outside world until I was your age. If you read up on the things you feel you don't know enough about, just make sure that whatever sources you use have a fiduciary responsibility to consumers, that is to say make/financially you are media literate enough to know whether interest rates are too high, or that you are dealing with scammers as opposed to legit banks or other organizations. Your credit worthiness depends on income and collateral; if you have to start with high interest rate companies like Capital One, just make sure you don't overuse credit and can calculate interest. If your parents have done any estate planning and are financially sophisticated, you could be ok when they're gone.

Maybe not quite to the degree you describe, but I feel much the same.

I noticed the best way to learn is to just do as much as you can alone. Easiest stuff you can try is going to the dentist, doctors or hospital alone.

When others are with me I noticed I have a habit of subconsciously following their lead for everything even if I've done what they're doing or where they're going hundreds of times on my own. I'm so bad at it I just abandon my car and jump in theirs of we go anywhere or wait behind them at a queue in McDonalds.

It's easy to fall into the habit when it's all you've ever known or you're just naturally timid. You can do it all, you just haven't had a chance to try by yourself.