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Aet1985
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24 Oct 2024, 1:56 pm

I was curious is it an Aspie issue that I am getting very stressed and anxiety ridden, with my aunt staying with us for 6 months out of the year? I just feel as if I can't move around well, have to fix my life around her, no privacy in my kitchen or house for that matter, even to shower or use bathroom. I get out of shower with towel around me, and for example she is on almost constantly a FaceTime Call with the rest of my family or ''Group Chat''. I feel that possibly I have other mental health issues? because my family enjoys or doesn't mind being together constantly, and meanwhile for me it affects my mind, body, and ''other areas'', even my father gets annoyed and says about his nephew has to have ''his mommy'' around, living with him in Arizona for 6 months. I get concerned because on the other hand I don't mind being with my dog always, or a female friend when I see her, yet feel a lot of privacy invasion or intrusive with my home life.



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24 Oct 2024, 5:28 pm

Aet1985 wrote:
I was curious is it an Aspie issue that I am getting very stressed and anxiety ridden, with my aunt staying with us for 6 months out of the year? I just feel as if I can't move around well, have to fix my life around her, no privacy in my kitchen or house for that matter, even to shower or use bathroom. I get out of shower with towel around me, and for example she is on almost constantly a FaceTime Call with the rest of my family or ''Group Chat''. I feel that possibly I have other mental health issues? because my family enjoys or doesn't mind being together constantly, and meanwhile for me it affects my mind, body, and ''other areas'', even my father gets annoyed and says about his nephew has to have ''his mommy'' around, living with him in Arizona for 6 months. I get concerned because on the other hand I don't mind being with my dog always, or a female friend when I see her, yet feel a lot of privacy invasion or intrusive with my home life.


No this is something anyone would feel with someone staying with them for 6 months, that is a long time. That would get on my nerves for sure. That is why I do not invite anyone to stay as a roommate, I like being alone, a lot. But I do not think this is an Aspie / NT divide, I think even NT would get tired of 6 months of constant presence of someone, unless they are just incredibly wonderful and charming, or else unobtrusive and quiet.


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24 Oct 2024, 6:12 pm

Can't even live with boyfriend, have tolerated flat mates but move often to avoid fights.



bee33
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25 Oct 2024, 12:45 am

I would feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious if there was someone not in my immediate family or my partner living in my house. It feels like whenever I try to do normal things around the house I am aware of what I am doing as if I am being watched even if they are not particularly paying attention. It's very intrusive and bothersome. I don't know if it's an Aspie thing but I would think that that would make it worse.



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25 Oct 2024, 9:40 am

It's a typical human reaction.
A subconscious take of 'home' should be a place where one doesn't have to be so vigilant over. But constantly not registering as 'home' means 'not safe enough'.

A person that has little to no concept of belonging or an ounce of concern over personal space and privacy is very uncommon.


A person would typically feel like that.
Unless they're a seasoned drifter who has way less safety concern.



I very much feel the same way towards my own mother -- whom I lived my entire life with I might add.
And yes, the lack of clear divide of where I can only go and where she can't in a house did affected me strongly that it stiffled me developmentally.

It has nothing to do with me being autistic, it has more to do with me just flat out not trusting her all because of her past actions and the way she inserts herself too often.

If it weren't for my sister going abroad and leaving her room for me to use for few years now, I might've not able to progress my own inner work at all because I'm too busy being vigilant over my own stuff.


My own situation currently is reverse to yours.

I wouldn't have the same issues if I went and sleep with another family's house for weeks or months.

And if I were to live with a stranger, I'd likely be more comfortable and may even scare that other person off than the other way around because of how forward I can be when it came to taking over spaces and I hate "pests" who would like to get away with sneaking over my stuff and my space.

Doesn't make me less wary.
It's not really a disorder; more like something one may afford to bare themselves by not having such 'luxury'.

Some do, some don't.

I used to not to all because of the possibility of 'doing something wrong without being aware of', or whatever crap that leads to some double standard mentality of 'everyone is allowed to except you'.

Now I don't.
All because I know how to not feel like it.


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