Hypersensitivity

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I don't consider myself emotionally stable. Like rejection and criticism sends me spiraling out of control and my self-esteem crashes. If someone looks at me the wrong way I feel very slighted. Is all of this normal? Or is it some kind of disorder? I don't know how normal people work 8 hrs a day and nothing seems to bother them or interfere with their work. It's been 20 yrs since I've worked and work was horrible. I worked for USAF and everyone criticized me because I wasn't "social" and everyone were a-holes.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a pretty typical symptom of ADHD.

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/rejectio ... -dysphoria

Being hypersensitive is not uncommon in Aspergers, both to sensation and social interaction. We can misread the words of others and react with anger or hurt.

When I entered the workforce (in the 1960s) most of the workers were of the WWII generation. They tended to a jocularity that included insulting each other. When I was asked why I objected (such as being asked, "What is the matter, can't you take it"), I responded that I questioned the assumption that people should be required to "take it".

In the last 60 years social homogenization has increased to such an extent that it seems in work environments failure to blend in is regarded as worse than failure to do the job. I found a little more "social elbow room" working third shift.

I don't do much. I have anhedonia really bad and don't enjoy anything (like taking walks, etc.). I'm a mess. I have trouble talking and feel disconnected to my speech which causes lots of anxiety. Don't know where to turn anymore, I've seen so many drs and therapists (including 6 inpatient stays at Johns Hopkins). I asked a Dr there what she knew about mood disorders and she said, "Not much. Maybe in 10 yrs we'll know more". There you have it...

To me, this sounds like atypical depression.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atypical_depression

I can be confident and with good emotional boundaries, but mostly I am as you described. I wish I spent more time in the confidence zone. Nature and nurture contrived against me to some degree. I like the idea that I will own my power some day, or at least more of it. Perhaps like most everything for me and ASD, it's how to modulate it. I'm either a timid mouse or a ferocious lion and timid seemed to "work" better. Something in the middle, or a touch towards lion would be nice.

Autism can come with emotional dysregulation, so I think autistic people can have RSD too. I think it's fairly common in neurodivergent people, and people with personality disorders as well. I'm AuDHD (autism + ADHD), most likely, and I have avoidant personality disorder.... so I get RSD a lot. Any sort of criticism, often even gentle criticism, is like a knife to the heart.

I've just started seeing the AuDHD term. That's me too. Supposedly my daughter is ASD only and my son is ADHD only. Whatevs: all spectrum-y. My son expresses his big feelings and my daughter suppresses, similar to my dad who is perhaps ADHD only and my mom who is ASD only --- so it appears the two tendencies came together in me and then separated out again.

I really don't know how humans remain unaffected by their emotions. I'm certainly not, I'm very emotional and up and down.

I don't know why it's so fashionable to be 'cool' and not show emotions. It seems if we show emotions, it's bad somehow.

We should all be educated about emotions and how to handle them. It's so important for people to know this.

Well that was a general observation, anyway. Not sure if it helps.

I'm also a highly sensitive person. especially when it has to do with emotions. It takes a lot for me to control my emotions.

I agree that rsd might be the reason. I am also like that, i try to not take what people say and do personally but it is hard.

Especially when you already think you are not good enough