Thoughts on clubbing?

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Hey so last night I went clubbing and HATED it

The music was awful and super loud. I really tried to have fun and dance but couldn’t handle the sensory aspect or the social pressure. I find dancing in front of people SO uncomfortable. I love music and I dance around like an idiot when I’m alone sometimes but I’m terrible at it. I just look so awkward and uncoordinated so when I go out I end up just swaying a little not really dancing.

Last night one of my friends started grabbing my arms and making me dance. People do this to me all the time it just makes me feel pathetic. My other friends even started pulling her away from me. I appreciated it but the fact that I needed saving just made me feel worse.

We saw a live band before the DJ came out which was much more bearable. It was still a sensory nightmare but I felt okay just standing and swaying.

Despite all of this I still feel pressured to go out in order to fit in. I try my best but always end up sticking out in social situations and feeling like I can’t connect with people. Even my “friends” feel more like friends of friends despite us all being in the same group of seven since high school. I’m only close with a few people.

Anyone else relate? What are your thoughts on clubbing in general?

I've only done it a few times and with friends, but I enjoyed it.

Mind you, I had consumed many substances those nights.

I went once.and didn't enjoy it. It was very overwhelming. So many sounds, flashing lights and people. Had a problem with random people touching me and one person tried to kiss me. It was very upsetting.

My friends were.mad at me because I wanted to go home.

I like dancing alone also. Can have the music I like and no.judgement about dancing skill.

I did do some of it in my 20s usually by myself.

I would advise going to a club only that is playing music you really like, and only if your sensory sensitivity is mild.

I don't really like dancing and I don't drink alcohol and I don't like the clubbing atmosphere so there's no point in me going clubbing.

But at the same time I do feel isolated when I know that I'm the only person in my whole family who has never been clubbing before. It seems that even if NTs dislike it they still have the energy to force themselves to go because it's 'the thing to do' when you're young.

I've never done it. It sounds boring. I'd rather stay at home and read.

I've tried it a couple of times. Absolutely no positives in it, for me. Too loud, terrible lighting, I don't drink and wouldn't buy drinks at those prices anyway, cigarette smoke in my clothes and hair that needed washing out, a pounding headache, and simply nothing of any appeal in the club itself.

I'm aware that it does appeal to the general population enough for there to be a long-lasting industry providing that experience, but I can't help but deconstruct it the moment I walk in, and there's nothing either in its components or their combinations that makes me think "Oh, maybe that could be fun."

The primary advantage of their existence is that, with luck, they attract the people who want loud music to locations which are miles away from where I live, so they're slightly less likely to play thumpa-thumpa music right next door to me for hours on end.

Never have, never will. I might have during the phase of my life when I was trying to prove my social strengths, but if so I might also have failed. They sound too noisy and crowded for me, and I know ways of being with people that are much more suitable to me. I suppose it's unusual for anybody my age to do clubbing anyway. I have no friends who go clubbing - I somehow seem to have selected against that when making friends.

Try an entactogen... music envelops one's body, goes through, out, and back again... becomes alive; sure, people still need to not bother you, if you're not the social type (or, I suppose, can always do inside, but speakers elsewhere are usually more potent)... once, instead of bothering me, they started to dance around in a circle or some strange thing, but didn't even notice until my eyes were open again. Not sure about darkened, closed venues (where individuals may more possibly pick on someone by themselves), for some reason my experience was out in the open daytime...

I like to bring my plush seal pup when I go clubbing.

I don't like "other people's music", or being around strangers, or dancing, or drunk people, or pick-up scenes, or wearing anything but pyjamas, so it's a hard no for me.

I've been to a couple of pubs that had dancing. They were gay bars. I just stayed in the eating part and got out as quickly as possible. The only time I danced in one of those places was in Palm Springs when I was stuck at a small dance club venue with family and they were all drunk and dancing. Michelle was there. It's bittersweet. I hated it at the time but now I'd give anything to go back in time.

I used to go every now and then with some friends when we were between the ages of 18-20-ish. These were definitely formative times for me and allowed me to build on my already pretty strong masking skills as I was surrounded by fellow young adults all looking for some sort of social experience. I also always made sure I was drunk so that I could be in close proximity and converse with others easier without feeling like a complete outsider or like I wanted to rip my own skin off.

Now as an almost 30 year old, the idea of clubbing causes me to break into a cold sweat and I honestly don't know how my poor brain ever handled all the sensory overwhelm to such an extreme, especially because I am most sensitive to noise and physical touch. I don't regret going out when I did, however it's definitely not for everyone and if I were to do it all over again, I would opt out.

This is also a major part of the problem for me. I have such an obscure taste in music and dancing to something I don’t like feels impossible.

I think I need to stick to gay clubs and stop forcing myself to go out with people I find annoying. I mean, ideally I should learn to accept that I don’t have to go out… but regardless, I definitely need to be DRUNK drunk next time.

I've never gone to a club to dance, but I have been to many live music events at small clubs. If it's music I love, I don't mind the loudness, but if I don't like the music the same decibel level is unbearable. I don't mind the other people, but mostly I would go to punk rock shows where people tend to be very nice and respectful of your personal space. As a woman in my early 30s (back then) by myself no one has ever bothered me at a punk rock show.

Clubbing what? Seals? Emus? Sloths?

I suppose that its more humane than harpooning the little rascals.

++++++++++

But seriously when I was younger and inclined to go out on the town it was a bit of love-hate thing. I get both the appeal, and the revulsion. I was usually more into studying the way the dj mixed the music than interacting with others. But sometimes I would get into talking to strangers and dancing. Some clubs are so loud you cant hear either conversation or the music. Some you can do both things. It all depends the venue and your mood and whom you're with.