Possible BPD behavior

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I met this one girl late last year and I suspect she may have BPD so I need to approach her differently in dating her. Since I met her, she went through phases of significant flirting with me and then acting very angry and disorderly in front of me. She insists she has trauma. She says she needs a man who can tame her and likes to test boundaries.

When I first met her, her first reaction was to introduce me to her ex boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend's reaction to the introduction was for him to introduce me to his new gf. She told other people she is scared of me cause I may like her. She then introduced me to a guy but insisted she is just a friend. She told me she needs to leave the country for several months on a sporadic teaching mission and advised me which places I should not be going to because "too many young girls go there". I once asked her if she has any BPD traits cause she sort of reminds me of a BPD ex and she got violently angry at me yelling that I dont know her well enough (making me suspect she has well researched BPD to the point that she has an emotional reaction while most people who have no experience involved in clinical psychological for instance may not really care about the label)

I started noticing that whenever I go out, I have people connected associated with her including her mom, uncle, uncle's girlfriend, and at least two friends following me around town (its not a big town) as well as asking questions that are designed to mine for information that you only a woman would ask (ex: "when do you want to get married?" "why do you want to date a woman of this age but not this age?") i also get a feeling that these people are "watching" another girl who has shown some interest in me in the past (note: that other girl tried to talk to me out of dating this girl by saying shes "on many meds")

i find it very suspicious that while this girl is sort of obsessed with me, her uncle and her wont add me on facebook and other social media accounts. whenever i bring up the topic to her uncle, he creatively dodges it. one last time i asked he seemed to have immediately walked out of the room and called that girl.

does this seem like this going some weird direction where i will be facing? can anyone help me understand this all better?

interesting you had an ex with BPD too, do you think you're attracted to borderlines?

Do you feel at ease with, and/or comfortable with this girl? To me, that would be the A#1 hurdle to jump, before going any further towards any relationship. It does not sound that this exists between you two. Further, IMHO, that is far too many people getting into what should be interaction solely between you and her, and maybe a select few "mutuals". Please reconsider, for your own "sanity".

It sounds like a red hot freak show to me.

I'm not sure why you're talking about dating her or having a direction.
She's not interested, and her behaviour already shows that you shouldn't be either.

To answer the questions above, I think:

(1) I disagree she is not uninterested. She has a very erratic and inconsistent way of interacting with people particularly men. I do not consider her stalking me and another girl (and getting a large portion of her family and friend group) to stalk me and another girl to be a sign of disinterest. Had she disliked me and was creeped out, I would have been cautioned by her friends and family to chill out but its quite the opposite. They are trying to get closer to me and get more information and are trying to keep me away from the other girl (the other girl is doing the same to this girl by suggesting she may be mentally ill)

(2) People suggested I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) which causes me to get attracted to borderline-type women. My mom exhibits some borderline and historinic traits, but to a much smaller level to make it annoying to household members but not affect her life overall much. I see significantly more drastic behavior from my girlfriends.

My question is WHAT SURPRISE AWAITS ME SOON? She goes to great extremes for me to not add certain people and seeing certain content. I told her we had a mutual friend and the next thing I see is that the friend restricted all of his photos related to her.

Well what a concoction. Be ready for some fireworks.

What kind of "fireworks" should I expect?

Big f*****g sexy ones

and all of this is appealing to you, why?

ego boost?

Interestingly you have posted elsewhere that you are not autistic.

If you are not autistic and she is not autistic, why are you inquiring here?

Why do you feel like autistic people can provide more insight into mental illness -- not neurodiversity, mental illness -- than "more commonly wired people cant in this realm?"

I feel like people with autism-like issues may be more read up on pervasive developmental conditions and personality disorder rather than the mental health community generally. But I may be mistaken.

Maybe not ego boost as much as the situation is kind of "wild".