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Highly_Autistic
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08 Jul 2023, 9:34 am

Some people do that, actually many people. I mean copying others' looks and behaviors

Is it really more rewarding? Especially for aspies, or the opposite? I always hated following society rules, but as far as I see successful people are more likely to fit in society well



ASPartOfMe
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08 Jul 2023, 10:23 pm

It is generally a bad idea. Eventually, it will make one so mentally exhausted to the point of having a meltdown or shutdown at which point all the autistic traits one is trying to avoid showing everybody will pour out in abundance.

It can cause all types of mental illness. The constant battle to hide that you are a "flawed person" will make you depressed. Many try so hard that they lose sight of who they are to the point of derealization and depersonalization.

I am not saying never "fake it to make it" just do it in moderation and always be aware that this is not you and you are doing it to gain something.


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blazingstar
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09 Jul 2023, 4:53 pm

Having done both, faking it to make it, and giving up society, the latter is, for me, healthier and promotes a higher quality of life.


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bee33
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09 Jul 2023, 7:21 pm

I think it's a kind of dance in which sometimes you can just be yourself, hopefully most of the time, but then there are times when you want to be more strategic to get something you want, like a job for instance, when it's worth it to play the game and try to be more accommodating to achieve an outcome that you desire.

But I agree with ASPartOfMe that it's not worth it to burn yourself out.



GreenVelvetWorm
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09 Jul 2023, 9:07 pm

It depends on your definition of "successful". You're more likely to get and keep a good job if you fit in well with society, so if your main goal is material wealth then that would be a good thing to focus on.

If you want fulfilling relationships though, you're more likely to find those if you're open about your weirdness (not guaranteed, but more likely).