What makes it harder for aspies to find friends?

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What exactly that makes hard to build friendships and communicate

It is "social struggles", its not just one specific "thing".

We are very direct thinkers and so we might lack subtlety. Some of us don't process what we hear or see in person to person to person interactions as fast or maybe as well as everybody else in the room.

We might not recognize when people are offended, when they are angry with what we are saying, or that they are trying to end our sometimes (many times?) single minded conversations about our favorite topic. (these are examples of how our sensory processing can miss social cues).

Because we have experienced a lot of rejection (many of us) we might be extra sensitive and be hurt or quick to anger, or both when no offense is intended.

We might not have anything in common with many others so it can be difficult to find common ground to build a relationship on.

It is not just one thing, but a very wide range of different "things". For many of us it can be a lot of things!

I agree with the previous poster, it's a lot of different things.

My partner and I are both autistic and we both have next to no friends. But I think it's for different reasons-

He can be quite outgoing, but people are often put off by him because of his lack of filter and his loud personality.

I'm very pleasant and polite, but I don't form connections with people because my social script doesn't go beyond basic manners, so I tend to put up walls and keep to myself.

There are probably other reasons we don't even know about, and for other autistic people there might be even more reasons. Making and keeping friends requires a huge range of social abilities

--Why wasn't I invited to the party?
--Why are non autistics so cliqueish and clandestine?

We could list all the reasons why autistics are bad at this or that, we know them all well enough. But there are two sides to the equation, and it's not all the fault of one. Why are people cliqueish and clandestine? Why do I sense that when I receive an invitation it is for what I am and not who I am? Why are all the non-autistic people I meet not really showing me who they really are?

I suspect non-autistic folk are not as plugged-in to the social world as they may appear.

We tend to behave a bit differently to what people expect, and though that's not necessarily harmful, it gives them a feeling that something isn't quite right.

If we stick rigidly to our own ways of doing things, it becomes hard to share, and without that there's not likely to be much friendship going on.

Simply put: Our cognitive and communication challenges. These problems can also make us targets for bullies.