Asking about my daughter

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My daughter doesnt like talking. Are there people out there similar? I think it could part be alexithymia and traits of social anxiety. She has not a single friend. She is not the least bit bothered. She was asked by speech therapist if she wanted a friend, she said no.

The only conversation she will have are one word answers to questions asked by providers. She thinks talking is over rated, she will find all the ways to get what she needs witout talking. She hates speech therapy. She volunteers in an op shop for 5 hours every week. She puts clothes in color blocks, some dusting, and sorting books. Essential for receiving DSP. She signs in and out. If no one says hello or goodbye. She wont have spoken a word and she will just walk out when its time.

The boss there has a son who is a savant in mathematics. So I hope she still has her empathy toward my daughter. I find some people with autism knowledge to be stereotypical and lack that understanding of how not every one is a cookie cutter person with autism. They're all different, not everyone gets that. Thanks for reading, I would like to know if my daughter is the minority. Please be kind

There is something called "selective mutism" that can be found in Aspergers. It is related to anxiety such as in school or with certain people that can inhibit speech. However, it sounds like your daughter may be not inclined to speak much at all.

If her speech is not inhibited by anxiety, you may be able to draw her out if you can ask her about any special interest she has.

My daughter has yet to get an ASD diagnosis (hopefully this week). Prevoiusly she got an Expressive Language Disorder and sensory, etc. She doesn't like to talk. When she was age three, I requested she meet me halfway on the matter (acknowledge I spoke to her and then we'd be together in companiable silence). Now she is a tween and I inform her as to what others expect and how to help set their expectations and remind her that it's her choice. My BFF is the less talkative ASD type. She was much like your daughter. At age 30 my BFF read the "Art of Conversation" which was eye opening to her. She's greatly increased her participation in and initiation of verbal exchanges.

My daughter did share how the conversation gets away from her and she says the "wrong" thing and that's how I feel too. So I think we're having similar internal experiences but she manages hers with silence and I manage mine by bulldozer.

The whole thing about wanting a friend is a trick question. I would have said the same as has my daughter - that we didn't need/want one, but the truth is I wanted a certain type of friend and not a typical friend. I have found ND friends for my daughter and that has worked well. She doesn't have a BFF in any traditional sense, but she's got something close. I didn't have a BFF until I was in my late 20s and in was kind of accidental. Apperntly if the Universe throws two "awkward" people together enough times they may stick.

Wishing you and your daughter wellness.

Mmmmm...no talking. I feel that.

In my day to day life, I don't say much. I dealt with selective mutism a lot as a child, less now that I'm old, but still, silent is my preferred way to be. If I could live in a world where people wrote everything down, I'd be all kinds of on board with that. If I could go hide in the woods and vanish from civilization, even better, but I lack my faith in my survival skills so I won't be doing that any time soon lol.

I'm also not big on socialization. If I've ever felt lonely in my life it was around others. I'm fine being alone. Always have been. It's where I'm at my best. Where I can 'hit my internal reset button', so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I can play with others when I have to, but it wears me down so fast. So much.

For sure, there are others out there like your daughter. We're out here. Mpost of us are probably keeping to ourselves though

I don't like speaking. I hate having other people know my thoughts and feelings, or taking the chance of saying something that will upset another person. I hate worrying about the volume, pitch, tone, facial expressions, eye contact, and all that BS that goes along with it. When they respond to me I have a processing delay, so it gets tiresome to hear "Hello?! Earth to Issy .... Are you still there?!?!" when it's only been a few seconds since they said something. I hate the whole thing of it. Written language is bar-none my first preference, especially because I can take my time choosing the right words and then edit, correct, or save / delete them as needed. Verbal speech doesn't have do-overs.

I was dx as mute as a child and I went to speech therapy. It's worst with my family and friends because they expect emotional content and vulnerability, which are the hardest parts for me. I'm better with strangers and I did fairly well in my career because there was no sharing of feelings.

I still go to SLP (Speech-Language Pathology) as an adult but they don't do a great job with mutism. They normally consider it a psych problem, but psychologists consider it a SLP problem.

My daughter was non-verbal as a child but she's a chatterbox now she's 18.