Have people pretended you're invisible?

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I think that in some cases, intentional ignoring may be one of the more subtle things we might not have picked up on (much less know WHY, esp. pre-diagnosis or having heard of ASD) - I can tell you in the past, when I was in my early 20s at uni/college (back in the '90s), I had it happen more than just coincidentally, I knew that it was something to do with ME, but couldn't put my finger on it (other than being "different") - and neither could the therapists I saw - they just "gaslighted" me by saying that they might have been busy or not noticed me.

Turns out, Aspie intuition is better than we think it is at times!!

This further confounded me, when I got feedback that *I* was apparently the rude one, yet I can barely recall any instances of ME intentionally ignoring people...I'd have the odd moment of "face blindness", which was kind of embarrassing, but was 100% unintentional.

Mostly this happened with females (big surprise, sarcasm) which I guess is a visceral response to a male who doesn't appear "natural", yet of course narcissists and other cluster B personality disorders completely bypassed her radar.

One time I asked a girl directly "You seem to be ignoring me, why?" and she replied, "Because you're a weirdo."
YIKES...
I didn't "poll" people in this manner, but my guess is that had I called more people out on intentionally ignoring me, the most common response would be denial, e.g. "I didn't mean to ignore you - I just didn't see you."

Other times, when it was a group avoidance maneuver, where they all got into their "hive mind mode", I could detect their darting glances and shocked expressions, and head tilt to "c'mon, let's go this way, where he won't pester us"... again it's uncanny how I can pick up non-verbals when people are trying to avoid me, but not proactively to prevent that sort of behaviour in the first place!! ![/b] In hindsight, it was clearly due to some manifestation that put them off in the past, e.g. abrupt change of topic or failure to keep on current topic, glazed confused expression or improper expression when a nuance was misinterpreted, innocently asked to clarify a nuance with a sexual connotation, or 'd' all of the friggin' above...

Oh and don't even get me started on this one time, at age 21, I went on a date with some girl who brought along her two friends (in hindsight I shoulda been the "alpha male" and said screw this and walked out), and they just chit-chatted amongst themselves, barely involving me at all.

And as you might have guessed already, there was more than a couple of times I can recall when I approached someone and she (usually a she) said to me, "Oh! I'm...actually kind of in a hurry, gotta go, sorry!!" but I could tell she didn't look that rushed before she saw me, and I could tell she likely saw me in her peripherals or a side-glance, not directly (as did the others who ignored me).

So, yeah. I guess during my 18-23 demographic experience, one could have said that "ignoring is the new name-calling."
(e.g. they were non-verbally calling me a weirdo, loser, freak, nutcase, etc.)

Maybe in those institutions of higher learning, there ought to be more sensitivity training about those on the spectrum, just like they have for minorities and LGBTQ. But something tells me that's going to be quite a struggle... at almost 50 now, I sure hope to see that in my lifetime!! !

I used to feel invisible at my old workplace when certain people would purposely ignore me. I hadn't done anything wrong to them that I knew of, I was simply of no interest to them.

If people have pretended I'm invisible I haven't noticed.
I don't mind being the invisible one in social situations but mostly I attract people by being standoffish and I don't really know why this happens.
Opposite problem, but just as confusing.

I like to be 'invisible' these days. When I go out, I want to be anonymous, and don't like to be recognized or approached by anybody, even if they know me.

No.

Catching someone's (or a crowd's) attention seems easier for me.

I stand out, sometimes in a good way, sometimes not. Half the time, not as intended.

Not necessarily out of oddity, but there are days when charm shines through any weirdness (or apparent lack of thereof) I have.

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I try to be invisible and fade into the background whenever possible.

yes. both in real life and on the internet.

i dont really like have attention on me in public settings so it doesnt bother me in that scenario.

it only becomes upsetting when im actively trying to make friends and people seem to be going out of their way to not talk to me. i end up wondering what im doing wrong.

yes...

I don't think many people have pretended I'm invisible. They've just not noticed me, or they've had no particular reason to pay me any attention. It would be nice to be in a world where people's common humanity was enough to make everybody important to everybody else, but I've not seen much of that outside of hippie communes.

I quickly noticed that although I seemed invisible to staff in a crowded bar, who served everybody else rather than me, the trick was to wave a £10 note around. They can't see me but they can see my money.

I felt shunned in school. I suppose now also - simply in that NTs don't relate to me. My topics are tangential, hard or unknown for them. For example, an NT says "it's raining in the countryside" - and an NT apparently will respond about rainy country living and everybody will talk superficially about that single topic for 5 min and feel warm and fuzzy. Meanwhile my BFF and I are more likely to share our experiences or those of friends... go off on tangents of the weather types, lifestyles - the variety in the world --- and lose all the NTs. Oops, broke the NT social rules again. If I try to follow the "rules" I tend to be quiet b/c I don't think like that. I handle it now by calling it out "TMI" or "I'm very excited by this" --- I haven't quite graduated to "That's a really good point and...[tangent]".

My ASD daughter noticed in 5th grade that she was a "ghost". She couldn't quite get a word in at the lunch table. Probably verbal processing delay factoring in as she sorts through the "right" thing to say. Oops, the conversation has already moved on.

^^^^^ see above post ^^^^. yes this too.

Some people enjoy being invisible, especially if they don't like being looked at by other people, as a related note to the thread topic.

In high school, I genuinely wished I was invisible.

As for people pretending another person is invisible, which I read as ignoring them.

At my old job, I witnessed ND ignoring ND. ND ignoring NT, NT ignoring NT, and NT ignoring ND.

It's more if the person doing the ignoring in some way feels superior to person being ignored.

ND ignoring ND was a co-worker ignoring my suggestion for resolving a problem, because I was not a database, network, or server engineer. It remember thinking "Fine." After the meeting, I went to my office and resolved the problem. I had to do some research because I could not remember the details. That is typical for me. After resolving the issue, I told my manager, who had also dismissed me for the same reason (not an engineer). I am admittedly an idiot. I know a little about many things and not an expert in anything. However, I had been in the department longer than anyone else and spread my interest around because I like to know how things work.
My job was programming. It think it had to do with an old terminal server from the 1990s. The terminal server blade needed resetting, and the baud rate needed adjusting. No one else except me and my manager knew about it.

I try not to ignore/dismiss people, but I know have, and for one person, I really regret it, because the person was a really nice guy. He just wasn't a very inexperienced programmer, borderline incompetent. It's one of those things I feel much guilt about.

^ You are not an idiot, pcgoblin.

Also, the fact that you have remorse for not being nice to someone/dismissing them is a positive thing for your character.