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Social Learning ( Lost Cause) ?

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Aet1985
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27 Aug 2023, 4:37 pm

I was very concerned lately, is it normal for Aspies to get angry and or upset with ourselves easily socially?. I don't know if it's the fact that maybe neurologically we have deficits, but I am quick to get emotional or angry at times in public, but mostly privately, I seem to take myself seriously socially or dating, while for everyone else it just flows naturally. I don't know if I also have PTSD from my past, because when I get upset I see in pictures, everything bothering me. I don't feel as if I am better than my co workers or others in general, but feel on a different page or just that life really burnt me out



ASPartOfMe
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27 Aug 2023, 8:42 pm

A key autistic trait is difficulty socially. There is no one Aspie way to react to this.


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MatchboxVagabond
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28 Aug 2023, 12:44 am

Aet1985 wrote:
I was very concerned lately, is it normal for Aspies to get angry and or upset with ourselves easily socially?. I don't know if it's the fact that maybe neurologically we have deficits, but I am quick to get emotional or angry at times in public, but mostly privately, I seem to take myself seriously socially or dating, while for everyone else it just flows naturally. I don't know if I also have PTSD from my past, because when I get upset I see in pictures, everything bothering me. I don't feel as if I am better than my co workers or others in general, but feel on a different page or just that life really burnt me out

That's pretty much an issue that comes with inadequate working memory. Insufficient memory to store information about what's going on and about how we're doing.

I don't know how "normal" it is, but executive functioning weakness is going to lead to that sort of thing.



Aet1985
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29 Aug 2023, 5:43 pm

I was very upset with myself at my last job, for example I wasn't really treated bad socially, but in my opinion I wasn't giving a good chance, such as with dating or group fitting in, I assume they were all ''NT'' but they seemed in their own little group and world, and I suppose that somebody who is eccentric, odd, has a different view on things, questions everything and can be critical of the human race, has a more difficult time or us Aspies are just ''strange'' ? I am more of a nerd when all is said and done



blitzkrieg
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29 Aug 2023, 6:03 pm

Becoming quickly upset or angry with oneself is completely normal for an aspie. I wouldn't worry about that in particular.



Naotakun
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04 Sep 2023, 1:30 am

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
That's pretty much an issue that comes with inadequate working memory. Insufficient memory to store information about what's going on and about how we're doing.

I don't know how "normal" it is, but executive functioning weakness is going to lead to that sort of thing.


This is one of the theories about my social skills that makes so much sense to me. Socializing with NTs always feels like being the one missing out on a really good inside joke.

As I learn more about my diagnosis, I understand more about the neurological/physiological differences in my brain compared to an NT person. It's been very validating to know how these complicated systems work in order to take ownership of my social life.

What is working memory? How do you learn more about the way it works? Are there other systems in our brains that make social life more difficult that you know of?