has anyone ever been told these things?

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Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 56
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28 Aug 2007, 12:11 pm

1. I think you may be asexual...
2. It must be very hard to be you...you always want things to be fair, and life just isn't fair...
3. You have such a wall built up around you, it's hard to get to you...
4. You just don't know when to let it go...
5. Can you stop obsessing about XYZ?
6. It does not have to be perfect...you have all the details that none of us would've ever thought of (at work)
7. You are so naive...do I have to explain the joke to you again?
8. Stop interrupting people...
9. You hurt XYZ's feelings...you need to take anger management courses
10. Where do you get all those ideas? How can you plan anything from a party (every single detail) to a design document for programmers?
11. You have a strange/different/awesome look in your eyes...they hypnotize...
12. You need to be a better "team" player...
13. You are so smart...how do you think of this stuff in your head without ever having to write it?
14. I can't believe you still remember that...(ie. my parents claim I was only about 2 yrs old and I can describe their aunts house to which I only went once...or other things that I say I remember and they think I'm making it up that I remember it, although they do agree that it happened...or may not even remember)
15. You have a photographic memory...every dream or book, I can see a clear picture and can explain every little detail...or, when asked about something at work, I can "see it" in my mind that it was written on the left of the page, at the top in blue letters, etc...and find it truly was...
16. You are so passionate about stuff...
17. You learn so fast...I only have to say it once and you never forget...

Just some of the things...just wondering how HFA/AS these things are...there are many others, but these are the major ones...

shopaholic
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28 Aug 2007, 12:16 pm

1. No
2. Frequently
3. No - but it's probably true
4. Frequently
5. Yes
6. Yes
7. No (I never let on if I don't get it, I just laugh when everyone else does)
8. No
9. Yes
10. No - I'm rubbish at planning things
11. No
12. All the XXX-ing time!
13. Yes
14. No
15. Yes
16. No
17. No

whatamess
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28 Aug 2007, 12:21 pm

you made me laugh on #7 because I do the same...hehe...actually, only my best friend from highschool said this to me constantly...he was my soulmate (a guy)...and he could see right through me...always...

2ukenkerl
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28 Aug 2007, 12:31 pm

Yes to everything but 1 and 11. Even with 11, my eyes ARE kind of odd, and people have remarked on that.

devster21
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: Twin Cities, MN

28 Aug 2007, 12:34 pm

1. I've been asked if i'm gay, but no asexual
2. No
3. I've been told "you always have to know whats going on around you but you never talk about your problems."
4. Yes
5. Almost daily, I hear "Lets stop talking about cars."
6. Yes
7. I usually pick up jokes. It takes a few seconds sometimes though.
8. Not so much, I like hearing people talk.
9. I just hear "You were really stupid for saying that."
10. This question seems like an ego booster, but yes... sometimes.
11. I've been told I have beautiful eyes. Does that count?
12. Yes.
13. Yeah, with cars, and math classes.
14. Yes.
15. With some things, but not usually.
16. Yes. I'm very passionate about cars.
17. Not quite. I have to see what someone is doing and then figure out a plan in my head on how to do it.

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costre
Blue Jay

Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 80

28 Aug 2007, 12:34 pm

Quote:

1. I think you may be asexual...

Not said to my face, but thought to myself quite often

Quote:

2. It must be very hard to be you...you always want things to be fair, and life just isn't fair...

Many times, as I get upset about pretty much every injustice or selfish act I witness

Quote:

5. Can you stop obsessing about XYZ?

Not necessarily being asked to STOP obsessing, but rather being asked questions about an obsession

Quote:

6. It does not have to be perfect...you have all the details that none of us would've ever thought of (at work)

Many times. If you have time and strength to make a routine smoother, or an end product better, why not?

Quote:

11. You have a strange/different/awesome look in your eyes...they hypnotize...

Actually, a collegue of my father's was invited to do some home improvement on my parents' house. We had met many times, but this was the first time he had brought his wife with him. She later told my parents that he had talked a lot to her about my mezmerizing eyes, and how she noticed it right away! Feels strange to hear that ...

Quote:

13. You are so smart...how do you think of this stuff in your head without ever having to write it?

Memory, not so much .. But I often get comments about being ultra-logic. Like when someone thinks about a certain topic or wonders how a certain thing works, I can mostly come up with a very logic explanation that they will then understand, often with a surprised "But of course!" to top it off.

Quote:

14. I can't believe you still remember that...(ie. my parents claim I was only about 2 yrs old and I can describe their aunts house to which I only went once...or other things that I say I remember and they think I'm making it up that I remember it, although they do agree that it happened...or may not even remember)

I have been known to remember the "wrong" things down to the very last details. Over fifteen years ago our family was invited over to some kind of friend's house for dinner with his family and some other people. We ran into them a year or so ago, and when I was told who they where, I could recall the ingredients of the food at the dinner party those many years ago, the color of their car, the number on their house .. but had not the slightest idea as for their names or how we knew them.

alphacent
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Age: 76
Gender: Male
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Location: Central Arizona

28 Aug 2007, 12:35 pm

I would say that you are "right on the money" with most of these "Aspie-like" traits. I'll give you a grade of 95%. (Sorry! Being a critic and "grade-giver" is probably also an "Aspie" trait!)

Spot17
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Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 493
Location: lost, as usual...

28 Aug 2007, 12:42 pm

1. No
2. Yes
3. Yes (I get this one a lot, and unfortunately it's true).
4. Yes
5. Yes (4 and 5 go together - the horse is dust by the time I finally stop beating it)
6. Yes (It's weird though, I can both obsess over the details to a ridiculous point and look at the big picture depending on the situation)
7. Yes (But not about jokes - I'm great at humor, naive about serious stuff like when and when not to trust someone)
8. Yes (Trying to get better, but it's really hard)
9. Yes (Although it's usually when I'm joking that I hurt people when I don't mean to - I rarely let my anger get out of hand - I tend to shut down when it gets to that point)
10. Yes. (My old manager finally told me to go get a notebook to write ideas down instead of telling him about them)
11. No (I get told that I look "out of it", "spacy", or "upset")
12. No (I've gotten a lot better about this)
13. Yes
14. Yes and No (I remember facts and some obscure memories, but my memory is very selective - e.g., my first memory happened at a time my mom said I was 2 or 3, but I can't remember that I told someone about something yesterday)
15. Yes (About pictures and how things look - I'm really good with faces, which I've heard is unusual for an Aspie)
16. Yes (I wish everyone else was too - this also translates into being very sensitive about certain things.)
17. Yes (I usually only have to ask a question once)

mmaestro
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28 Aug 2007, 1:14 pm

3, 4, 5, 8, 12, 14, 16.

For 1, I too have been asked if I'm gay a number of times.

Now, where are our NT controls?

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xanadu
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

28 Aug 2007, 1:31 pm

Wow, I've not been told any of them!! !
At least one word was always different.

Seriously though:

whatamess wrote:

1. I think you may be asexual...

No - but I haven't heard anyone, ever, mention the word asexuality. But I overheard strangers calling me gay (directly), aquaintances calling me gay (indirectly), and friends joking about my lack of interest in sex - does that count?

whatamess wrote:

3. You have such a wall built up around you, it's hard to get [through] to you...

Yes.

whatamess wrote:

4. You just don't know when to let it go...

Yes.

whatamess wrote:

5. Can you stop obsessing about XYZ?

Indirectly / assumed.

whatamess wrote:

6. It does not have to be perfect...you have all the details that none of us would've ever thought of (at work)

All the time.

whatamess wrote:

7. You are so naive...do I have to explain the joke to you again?

Almost like that, yes.

whatamess wrote:

8. Stop interrupting people...

No, but I notice myself doing that.

whatamess wrote:

10. Where do you get all those ideas? How can you plan anything from a party (every single detail) to a design document for programmers?

Yes, increasingly. Just two days ago somebody asked me to plan their wedding - I seem to have an ability to plan things in minute detail.

whatamess wrote:

11. You have a strange/different/awesome look in your eyes...they hypnotize...

Yes.

whatamess wrote:

12. You need to be a better "team" player...

Oooh... really?

whatamess wrote:

Yes. Most often like this: "I don't think you will remember this, but at that and that time... - Yes, I do indeed remember that."

whatamess wrote:

15. You have a photographic memory...every dream or book, I can see a clear picture and can explain every little detail...or, when asked about something at work, I can "see it" in my mind that it was written on the left of the page, at the top in blue letters, etc...and find it truly was...

Certainly.

whatamess wrote:

16. You are so passionate about stuff...

Replace "passionate" with "obsessed" and the answer'd be positive.

whatamess wrote:

17. You learn so fast...I only have to say it once and you never forget...

Yes.

All the questions I didn't mention are a plain and simple "no" for me...

Oh, and welcome - I see you are new here too, and read your other post. Good luck to you and your son!

Best,
Xanadu

doordoctor
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28 Aug 2007, 1:33 pm

whatamess wrote:

1. I think you may be asexual...

not been told that but yet can admit im asexual since i dont want any action of passion and there will most likely be no reaction to the nonverbal cues involved (or verbal) if a flirting man was to walk in front of me nakedfor instance, or dare to flash me, hes more likely going to get ignored or told to put his clothes back on and bug off and hes wasting his time trying to initiate any action.

2. It must be very hard to be you...you always want things to be fair, and life just isn't fair...

friends on internet told me that one a few times

3. You have such a wall built up around you, it's hard to get to you...

yea, heard that one, since i barely go anywere(not really a need to accept to store)

4. You just don't know when to let it go...

ohh yes i have heard this one ALOT in high school, started in 11th grade they istnalled the worst ever made closing devices, then would blame me for odor they made, id complain, suggest better closer, crack a joke about the cheapo ones, but long story short, 5 to 6 years later i won the war of hardware and school just removed the bad ones for better brand :lol:

dont mess with aspies because they will find any way possible to prove you are wrong

5. Can you stop obsessing about XYZ?

yes, ALOT since 6th grade (when love for door parts started) all paid off though

6. It does not have to be perfect...you have all the details that none of us would've ever thought of (at work)

umm, was told im the expert, does that count??

7. You are so naive...do I have to explain the joke to you again?

no, but i guess could depend on subject or even if i had found joke funny or not

8. Stop interrupting people...

yes, on the phone, and sometimes when i have something i thikn would be important to the person im talking to

9. You hurt XYZ's feelings...you need to take anger management courses

no not really

10. Where do you get all those ideas? How can you plan anything from a party (every single detail) to a design document for programmers?

i have been told that i should design a new door closer or a lock or something

11. You have a strange/different/awesome look in your eyes...they hypnotize...

not yet on this one

12. You need to be a better "team" player...

im more of an independant person so sports and group type activities can be a bit hard

13. You are so smart...how do you think of this stuff in your head without ever having to write it?

heard this one last at supermarket when nurse was trying to discribe new hardware that school she works at just got

14. I can't believe you still remember that...(ie. my parents claim I was only about 2 yrs old and I can describe their aunts house to which I only went once...or other things that I say I remember and they think I'm making it up that I remember it, although they do agree that it happened...or may not even remember)

i get this one mostly in aim or yahoo when i try to help a person that has had a history of computer problems and imming me with a new problem

15. You have a photographic memory...every dream or book, I can see a clear picture and can explain every little detail...or, when asked about something at work, I can "see it" in my mind that it was written on the left of the page, at the top in blue letters, etc...and find it truly was...

this came very useful when giving proof that the "new" hardware was just installed and wasnt there in past, what i did used a yearbook from the year before, and the yearbook from my graduated year(2002) came in handy when proving it to superintendant, head of maintenace and teachers who came to me asking what happened and whats that smell.

16. You are so passionate about stuff...

i hear this one about every day on im, and people who know me and acutally have time to listen to my knowlage in computers or door repair

17. You learn so fast...I only have to say it once and you never forget...

many say this usually when tehy are speaking or asking a question about something of interest to me or something funny to them.

Just some of the things...just wondering how HFA/AS these things are...there are many others, but these are the major ones...

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whatamess
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28 Aug 2007, 7:01 pm

Wow! Thanks for the response...actually, I'm just starting out here so I don't know how AS/HFA these things are, I do know that people say these things or these things happen all the time...I hear many of these things at work, and it's actually funny...I'm the only one in my group without a degree...everyone just assumes I have all kinds of degrees...hehe...but no, going to school was to long and painful for me...way to slow, so I left...

About the eyes, an older man once told me "you have flat eyes"...hehe...I thought, geez, is that a compliment or what? He was really a nice old man and then he said they were just very different, but that they were beautiful and that I looked at people differently or something...anyway, my best friend would always tease me about my "flat eyes".

It is a joy to see that these things happen to many people...I do seem to get along much better in our company with all the programmers/system architects, etc...they all love me...and I have much respect for them too...now the Marketing people, that just talk fluff in our company (sorry for anyone that is marketing out there), I just cannot relate to...I seem to have major issues with them all...

whatamess
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28 Aug 2007, 7:02 pm

Wow! Thanks for the response...actually, I'm just starting out here so I don't know how AS/HFA these things are, I do know that people say these things or these things happen all the time...I hear many of these things at work, and it's actually funny...I'm the only one in my group without a degree...everyone just assumes I have all kinds of degrees...hehe...but no, going to school was to long and painful for me...way too slow, so I left...

About the eyes, an older man once told me "you have flat eyes"...hehe...I thought, geez, is that a compliment or what? He was really a nice old man and then he said they were just very different, but that they were beautiful and that I looked at people differently or something...anyway, my best friend would always tease me about my "flat eyes".

It is a joy to see that these things happen to many people...I do seem to get along much better in our company with all the programmers/system architects, etc...they all love me...and I have much respect for them too...now the Marketing people, that just talk fluff in our company (sorry for anyone that is marketing out there), I just cannot relate to...I seem to have major issues with them all...

jason_b1980
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Age: 44
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Location: Ohio

28 Aug 2007, 11:12 pm

I have been accused of being gay several times...even by my own mother. Also, people ask all the time if I am afraid of girls or "when are you gonna find you a woman", or "quit being so picky"

By the way, I do like women, but I'm not sure if I have the capacity to be with one again (only had one).

richardbenson
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28 Aug 2007, 11:15 pm

only numbers 7&12

Aspie1
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29 Aug 2007, 1:02 pm

1. I think you may be asexual... No
2. You always want things to be fair, and life just isn't fair... Yes
3. You have such a wall built up around you, it's hard to get to you... No
4. You just don't know when to let it go... Yes
5. Can you stop obsessing about XYZ? Yes
6. It does not have to be perfect... (at work) No
7. You are so naive...do I have to explain the joke to you again? Yes
8. Stop interrupting people... Yes
9. You hurt XYZ's feelings... take anger management courses Yes, but not about anger
10. How can you plan anything from a party to a design document for programmers? Yes
11. You have a strange look in your eyes... Yes, but only "strange"
12. You need to be a better "team" player... Yes
13. How do you think of this stuff in your head without ever having to write it? Yes
14. I can't believe you still remember that... Yes
15. You have a photographic memory... Yes
17. You learn so fast...I only have to say it once and you never forget... Yes

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has anyone ever been told these things?