Do people blame your normal problems on AS?

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I feel so cheated and insulted what that heppens to me, and it's always my mother doing it! I feel cheated out of kind words and genuine understanding, and solidarity. I feel insulted because now people will think (and my mother already thinks) that Aspies just get upset for no reason, and that gives us a bad name. Like, sometimes I dislike something about her that others also dislike about her, and she says it's due to my AS, and the others seem NT, like my aunt, for instance. She even told my mom that she didn't think it was the AS; part of it was my mother too. But my mother doesn't like taking the blame so the blamed it all on my AS.

My mom always thinks Im "pulling" something whenever something goes wrong, no matter how many times she tells me she understands, its annoying and hurtful.

So you're the reverse? They blame your AS problems on some NT scheming?

I was defensive alot with my first boyfriend and always got frustrated with him because of his political views and opinions on how our country should work and how our country runs. He thinks it runs like China. He thought aspies get pissed easily because none of his friends do and I do. I have never read anywhere about aspies getting pissed off easily or get real defensive easily. He just wouldn't read about it. I guess it was a good thing he didn't or he might have started saying I don't have it and I have something else because I don't meet the sterotypes of aspies and don't have the same common interests as they do such as into sci fi stuff and into science and tech. Another commont hing is good with math and I suck at it. I can;t even do algebra or that hard math I see in high school. Even Temple says she cant' do it either but I'm sure she does it all the time but she can't do the problems.

I still think I have PDD-NOS though.

I am undiagnosed, but I'm in my 30s and had all the halmark difficulties throughout my school experience. I've taken Simon Baron-Cohen's AQ test several times and can't manage a score in the "normal" range without fudging my answers. I realize it's not tantamount to a diagnosis, but I also understand there is no approved diagnostic mechanism for undiagnosed adults.

It seems I have the reverse of your problem. I have in-laws and peers that have repeatedly expressed their disbelief as to my putative aspieness. Accordingly, they attribute my idiosyncracy to some kind of consious iconoclasm or desire to be contrary. I have developed what I believe to be a rather sophisticated set of scripts to deal with social situations and I had a great deal of experience on stage in music and theatre that have combined to help me feel a considerable social confidence. That said, I offend people constantly without realizing it and am told I'm condescendingly professorial and lecturing. My in-laws in particular, who are as neurotypical as they come, seem to want to ascribe the worst intentions to my behavior even though I have a five-year-old son who has been diagnosed and exhibits much of the same behavior (although his behavior is obviously more attenuated toward the obnoxious as he's, y'know, five years old.)

I blaim many of my social problems, as well as problems as work (could also go under social) on my DX.

Just today, I pissed off the lady who works at my overtime facility as I call it. She was the receiver and over the course of the day asked me a series of questions, I could not give her the answer she wanted, and as nice and helpful as I tryed to be she seemed to be talking down to me, very quickly I got aggittated, and noticed she left me alone for the rest of the day. Even quickly asked me what was wrong, i responded (lying) that I was tired, 12 hr shift for me, still.

Its all audio processing, I say 'what' she gets mad cause she repeats herself. Sometimes I done even understand a simple question, often because os sensory issues. Well... what are ya going to do?

I just don't care anymore. It's not really a deafitist attitude but..

There are so many ways to interpret someones behaviour and I expect my interpretation/explanation of my own will clash with someones every day. There is no escape from it. So I decided to free myself from the reactions of others and not let them affect me negatively, I will still acknowledge them, I do not ignore them. They may influence me to change the way I think and perceive the world around me.

I see the AS label and any spectrum label as a sort of cushion for the actual individual as it may be more hurtful/damaging to weak minded people if they were to be blamed directly (IT'S YOUR FAULT FRANK!) rather indirectly through the medium of an AS diagnosis (YOU AND YOU'RE DAMN AS CONDITION).

I feel the safest thing is to learn how to explain yourself rather than just telling people to try and learn about AS on their own as they will develop their own interpetations without the influence of YOUR interpretation.

Rather than "what", try "I'm really sorry, I'm having a lot of trouble hearing over all this noise*, can you please speak a bit slower?".

* If there's no noise, you could always say you've got water in your ears, or something, though it might get strange if you say that every day


HagbardCeline: Adults can (and do) get diagnosed. If you're having trouble, go see someone about it!