Exposing my experiences and what it could cost me

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Hi everyone. I hope the day is treating you well.

So I've been seeing a therapist lately trying to get my life figured out and I feel I should get this out there before I do anything else. Ya see, my parents did know I was on the spectrum before I turned 18 (they had me diagnosed) by they didn't tell such until around my 18th birthday. They both, knowing this until that very point, treated me as though I was an NT which was a struggle throughout the formative years of my life as I realized a lot of what I put myself through was a result of ignoring my neurodivergence (or rather because of neurodivergence was ignored and left untreated) and this has lead to poor decision-making, mis-assessments of my nature, ignorance of how this would impede my life and even, at times, a sort of slow attrition of my well-being because I haven't known how to deal with being on the spectrum.

Now I am alone, I'm not married, I have no career and I'm trying to do the best I can to start my own business (I'm a voice-over artist but even that is struggling) and I don't know where to go from here.

I feel as part of the healing process of leaving out so many missed development opportunities in my life, I should start making YouTube videos or writing about this experience as a way of both healing and helping. The thing is ... I'm at a point in my life that could be strained, if not ruined, by exposing myself as an autistic person. Plus, I said some things to my father before his death in an email that could circulate and could be used against me and further damage my life socially and professionally.

I hate that I have to weigh as some sort of cost/benefit analysis, but my life could become infinitely worse if I expose this to others, and, here's the thing, the help it could provide might not be what I think it is. Would it be worth it or should I keep this under wraps so I don't risk my own well-being?

Let me know. I need some input here.

I'm not sure exactly what the repercussions would be for you if some people were to find out that you are on the spectrum.

But I would say that there are degrees of going public. Making YouTube videos is just about the most public you could go, since just about anyone can see them. If you were to write about it, would you also publish or post it in a public place where anyone could read it? It seems to me that if the purpose of writing or making videos about your life experience is that you feel it could be therapeutic, you can do those things without putting them out where the general public can see them? You could keep them to yourself or only share them with the people with whom you feel it would be helpful to share them.

But not knowing the entire context or purpose, I am not sure.

am sorry your feeling to be in such a situation, but only you, can discern all the possible situations ..
So to say one way or another might just be wn intrusion to your real life ...!
But after having written this , and based on what I could tell, Your circumstances dont seem to mean that you even need to worryabout a timeline about exposing yourself to any possible discomfort. . You can tell people later on ...
If they di not know already , either way you have been doing a good job, of making appearances as NT it seems.
Maybe just hang in there until the day , you decide ?? Seems you are on the edge of having a therapist ...Soooo..
That should provide some support of some kind..And those people,who do therapy work,are bounded to not disclose private info on Patients. Hope I understood the meaning of your post?
You could take a service type job just to fill in the money shortages you might run into, if you could stand it?
Until your ready to disclose you status .
.

Politely, what would exposing your neurodivergence cost you? I'm sorry you only found out at 18; can I ask how you found out, did your parents then offer you this information? If you're talking about going public in the likes of YouTube then that is about as extreme as you can get albeit there are gaps in the market for such material I'd say in my subjective opinion but it depends how personal you want to make it. Could you try journaling or putting out an anonymous blog under a pseudonym?

I'd be careful of going public. Most people on the spectrum that post Youtube videos have had some success in life. I Never see a jobless single autistic person post. Most of the autistic women I see on YouTube are physically attractive.

In my experience, revealing that I'm on the spectrum can be helpful, but also can backfire. I once revealed to a medical doctor that I was autistic. That was a big mistake. Since then, my medical care team has never taken me seriously again, and my health care has suffered.

You need some catharsis. Youtube videos may help, then again they may not and you'll regret it later. I have a stack of coins on the latter.

Whatever you choose depends on a lot of things only you understand. But start by writing. Worked for me and I think a lot of folks who needed to get things off their chest. You can use what you have written to confide in others. If you publish you can use a pen-name, and you will have lost no dignity.