Do you think its toxic for non-autisitc people to tell......

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justanotherpersonsomewhere23124
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10 Nov 2023, 8:55 am

Do you think its toxic for non-autisitc people to tell autistic people to stop making excuses?
Why do they think that autistic people make excuses?
How do you even tell the two apart?



DanielW
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10 Nov 2023, 9:13 am

I think it would be far better for everyone to stop labeling every interaction they don't like as "Toxic" and instead take advice in the spirit in which it is intended. Not everything is Toxic, and not everyone we disagree with needs to be "cancelled". Sometime we just disagree with others - that's life.



blitzkrieg
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10 Nov 2023, 9:15 am

DanielW wrote:
I think it would be far better for everyone to stop labeling every interaction they don't like as "Toxic" and instead take advice in the spirit in which it is intended. Not everything is Toxic, and not everyone we disagree with needs to be "cancelled". Sometime we just disagree with others - that's life.


Hear hear!



MaxE
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10 Nov 2023, 9:24 am

justanotherpersonsomewhere23124 wrote:
Do you think its toxic for non-autisitc people to tell autistic people to stop making excuses?
Why do they think that autistic people make excuses?
How do you even tell the two apart?

I think it depends on the situation. It would help for you to describe a situation in which this happened.

Otherwise I would say that there are occasions on which the autistic person may have been making an excuse rather than owning what they did. A good example is an autistic man who inappropriately touches a woman. Nobody is going to accept his autism as an excuse.


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ToughDiamond
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10 Nov 2023, 9:42 am

I too am wary of overworking the term "toxic," but I agree it's not good at all when there's an innocent reason for an autistic person's "unacceptable" behaviour that isn't immediately obvious and the uninitiated jump to the wrong conclusions.



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10 Nov 2023, 1:05 pm

I'm not sure I would use the word "toxic".

I think their response shows how little folk in general know about Autism.

And, before I was 64 I would have been as ignorant as them.

I think their response could be turned into bad news for them. I would see it as an excuse for trying to politely spread some information on the topic.


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autisticelders
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10 Nov 2023, 1:53 pm

Toxic might not be the right choice of words.????? is it judgmental? is it manipulative? is it unhealthy communication? Is somebody else's comment about your behavior being seen by you as bullying?
it is difficult to figure out what you are talking about and difficult to understand what you mean without a lot of explanation of details in this case.


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