is this one of those "rigid thinking" things

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Does anyone else find you HATE "how are you" exchange, and even with an explanation that it's not meant to be seriously answered, it still drives you insane? Is this one of those "rigid thinking" traits? Like, why ask me how I'm doing if you don't actually want to know?? It makes me grumpy.

What are examples of "rigid thinking"?

Some of the verbal concern bothers me. Answering "Oh" makes me look rude, and speaking at length makes me look dull.
I heard that a handshake was originally a sign of "I don't have a gun."
I heard that the birthplace of "Have you eaten?" actually invites you to eat together after receiving "No".
Perhaps this is indeed Rigid Thinking, giving people in the same culture a unified way to express friendly signals. forwhat? Because some people are just completely unkind or won't express it? I do not understand.

It is not possible to objectively measure the "flexibility" of a thought.

However I don't like the question "how are you?" Either. (On the other hand, there are plenty of worse questions and statements than "how are you?").

Half of everything is below average (bell curve)

Some counselors act like, the correct answer to "how are you doing?" is "perfect". Everything is good, bad, both or neither. To expect everything or everyone is good at all times, is not justified or realistic. Besides, if everything was "good" at all times, that would shift the definition of "good".

Not everything or everyone is, the way they appear.

Not all impacts: immediate, visible, physical, obvious, or permanent

Some things could be good for one person and bad for another person

Sooner or later, bad things are going to occur

I actually like "how are you" because it's such an easy thing to say when I don't know what to say, and when I say it, I am genuinely checking in with them to find out how they are doing. I don't want to start rattling on about something trivial if they are actually going through something, so I am giving them the opportunity to say, "I'm not doing so well," and then I can ask what is bothering them.

Or if it's a stranger, like a receptionist, it's understood that it's just a polite greeting, though I usually try to avoid saying it in that case.

When someone I don't know says "how are you" to me I just say I'm fine because I take it as a polite greeting and nothing more. If it's someone I know I might say something like "I'm hanging in there," as a hint that I am not doing fine and they can ask me more about it if they want. If it's someone I know well, I will tell them how I actually am.

I suppose it does count as rigid thinking if you are noticing the discrepancy between someone seeming to take an interest in how you are when they are actually only offering a token greeting, and you are bothered by that discrepancy, even though it's generally understood.

The problem for me with a retorical "How are you?" is that I feel a physical discomfort when I answeer it with "Fine!" if that's not the case. When I try to dodge it with some nonsense respons like "Things could be worse" people usually try to force a positive statement out of me.

That is literal thinking not rigid. Rigid thinking is not being able to appreciate or yield to the other person's way of thinking or point of view.

I do not like the question. I feel dishonest if I don't accurately address the question, even though intellectually I know an honest answer is not expected. I usually respond with "Exceptionally fair to middlin'", or "Outstandingly so-so". Then either they appreciate the humor or they are confused by the response, and either way a positive answer is no longer expected.

I tell the person exactly how I'm feeling and why. Why should I lie to people. I usually say that I'm fine because I usually am fine.

That kind of thing has been noticed before and commented on with disdain:

When one Esquimau meets another, do the two, as an invariable rule,
ask after each other's health? is it inherent in all human nature to
make this obliging inquiry? Did any reader of this tale ever meet
any friend or acquaintance without asking some such question, and did
anyone ever listen to the reply? The Warden - Anthony Trollope (1855)

If he was an Aspie, he was remarkably knowledgeable about human nature.

I always used to answer the question as if they wanted to know, and it wasn't until about 2010 that I noticed they didn't. After that, I still didn't change my replies much, though I stopped giving out a very comprehensive reply, and just said such things as "well, it's a long story," "Could be worse" (which always got a laugh for some reason), or "surviving" (which I picked up from a colleague in the 1970s, as I liked its sense of wit). I'm not a fan of hackneyed, non-original responses, and prefer to be a bit more entertaining. But these days in Arkansas I usually play it safe and just say "fine" because I don't know the people very well yet.

Oddly, I asked one of them how she was feeling, and she said "fine" at first but then said "well, not really," and proceeded to tell me about some of her recent troubles, which were quite serious cause for sorrow. I listened, and felt sympathy. I felt we grew a little closer to each other because of that exchange, so I still think the mainstream NTs have got it wrong, but maybe they have a different rule for close friends. I don't know because I don't have many close mainstream NT friends, as I don't see much worth in many of them, which is probably unkind and uneducated of me.

I have trouble with the concept of peripheral friends, as I'm rather black-and-white about friendship and tend to see individuals as either close friends, people of rather little consequence, or enemies, and when I'm nice to people I'm not close to, I often feel like I'm being fake, though I suppose it's necessary. I should probably try to feel a bit warmer towards people I'm not close to, without being too warm, but like I say I'm rather black-and-white about friendship. I know it's not quite right, but those are my gut reactions.

I think the point is that these are NT call-and-response conventions; autistic people have to learn that they don't actually mean anything, whereas for NTs they are instinctive. 'How are you' etc. happens to be the most frequently occurring one.

As an autistic person it doesn't make logical sense to me why someone should ask 'How are you?' when (a) they don't actually care how the other person is, and (b) they know they aren't going to get a genuine answer anyway.

Personally, the one that winds me up the most is 'Oh my God!' from people who have no God.