FB post that bothered me

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Some Autism mom posted a meme on FB that really bothered me. It was a picture of all the things she does for her kid. It said things like, "I use pee cards," and other things like that. I can't remember the other things it said but they were all to that nature.

Now I understand how difficult it can be to parent an Autistic child. I have young Autistic cousins and I spend a lot of time helping them understand themselves and their Autistic children. I really appreciate and support every parent who is facing the challenges of raising children who are different from themselves. But I have a problem with people who make memes and tshirts about it to pat themselves on the back and to show the world how super human they are because they are raising children who are different from what they expected or intended. So I responded to that mom who posted that meme and told her that I would give her a medal.

One perspective that these parents never seem to consider is how their children would feel if they knew their parents were posting those kinds of memes and wearing those kinds of tshirts. They also never consider how difficult it is for a neurodivergent child to have to be raised by neurotypical parents. At least the parents can get help and support and have tons of resources to help them understand and raise their children. But I am not familiar with any resources or help or support to help the children understand their parents and deal with the effects of being raised by them. We forgive our parents every single day for not understanding us. We do that from the minute we are born until the minute we die. And as young children, we do it without the help or supports of organizations. The resources are designed to help parents with their children, not to help children with their parents. So yeah, I hate those memes and tshirts. I think I need to make a shirt that says, "I am a superhero for having survived nuerotypical parents."

I concur.


My own mom doesn't need to post memes or talk about autism -- but she takes too many photos of me and put them online despite expressing to NOT do it. Too many times.

I cannot count on her over my own more personal matters because of that -- to a point that I'd willfully exclude her in everything I'd do; which I've been doing since as a child.
I don't want her talking about me, mention me or anything, more so with more preassumptions with what I know and don't know.
I'd rather have her deny my existence.

I cannot trust her to be discreet, to keep a secret, or respect my damn space and privacy.
Let alone anything to do with autism and neurodivergence in general.


The worst part is that if I get dysregulated and in a state of blabbing shite out and happened to be in a "more sociable mood" -- I do the same with others and I really, really, hate catching such personality trait.


Nevermind the f-ups she did to me when she was younger. 10+ years too late to change.
I have to undo the f-ups she did at those damn earlier years.
And data suggests that I don't know if it's even possible for me to fix it in this lifetime


But sure... I tried to understand her. I only had a handful but it's not enough.

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I don't agree with the mother did but perhaps she thought if it worked for her child she might think it could help other NT parents? But then again....

There are parents who are desperate to try something different but unsure of themselves (I know this feeling) and seek confirmation or validation over what they are doing on the internet.

But memes? yeah that's pretty narcissistic

Often the assumption is that these children will never mature be embarrassed by them, and have peers that make fun of them over these videos.

I also don't like parents who post such things about their autistic children. They don't think about the feelings of their own children.

I Agree with both of you

I saw one on youtube where he was demonstrating how to bring his young child out of a meltdown. It wasn't a meltdown at all. His child was taking advantage of being spoilt. It was obvious! Who taught him as a Dad what to look out for and how he could tell the difference between his child throwing a tantrum and his child having a meltdown as he obviously did not know the difference between the two.

I will explain. His child wanted a toy car. His child went off into a rage because he could not get his toy car. His Dad got him his toy car ad immediately the child was calm and behaved himself. That is NOT a meltdown!
Here is an example of a meltdown which would be me when I was a young child (Even though my parents or the social worker (Nurse (Midwife?) who would occasionally checked up on toddlers) did not know seem to know what a meltdown was.
Child wants a toy car but gets overwealmed because they cant get the toy car (For now ignore I said overwealmed. Assume I said "Goes into a rage" as they can look the same). The Dad then gives in and gived the child the toy. The child continues in a rage for the next few hours (At least half an hour, but I would be like that all day and night! Sometimes I would not be able to take a breath and go blue and my Dad would smack me on the back and the shock of doing that would make me draw breath again. Mum once nearly chucked me out the window as I wouldn't stop crying! ). That is a meltdown.

The two start off similar and may seem to have the same triggers. But this Dads child was just playing up, as there is no way his child would suddenly calm down and stop crying/acting up when given his toy if he was in a meltdown! No way!

The issue is with those who trained the Dad, as the Dad assumed that all acting up in sudden rages with tears is a meltdown. Child was taking advantage of this and acting up to get his way! Dangerous growing up as child could become a bully. (I was bullied in school by a child my age who was known to be autistic from a young age. His Mum went easy on him at a young age which is why he became a bully. I do symathize as sometimes it sometimes takes an older autistic person to tell the difference when a child is acting up or when a child is in a meltdown. (Example is a lady that I dated and her son. (Distance dating but I did meet them). Both of them were on the spectrum. She was so in tune to her son as she knew her son reacted like she did, that she could tell when her son needed "Time out" to stop him going into a meltdown way before he reached that stage and told us to be quiet for a moment (We were all in the car) so her son could recover. Once he was recovered he was fine. I realize now. Before joining this site I didn't even have a clue my shutdowns had triggers! It is soo obvious now! I must have been thick for so many years!
(As a very young child, I definately had meltdowns. Then at the age of about six, when a certain event happened, I stopped having them but from then on the shutdowns started! Is kinda annoying that foe most of my life I never realized what they were and what was causing them! Would have saved myself from decades of blood tests for all sorts of things while trying to discover what they were!