Nasty Article in the Daily Mail regarding ASD

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/f ... ge_id=1879

I suggest that you all take good advantage of the comment box on the bottom. I will go and do so in the morning tommorow, my net access is finicky at the minute.

I do not find issue within the article itself...it is the title of th article which appalls me, especially as nowhere in that article, that I can see, has that woman called her son a 'monster'. I have posted a comment.

Wouldnt say the article itself was entirely nasty per se. More that the woman in question has very little idea about autism and AS, or the faintest grasp of child psychology.

You can read that article and spot each impairment and aspect of AS as it crops up, even if the article fails to note it. Routine disruption, dietary issues, hyper and hyposensitivity, they are all there to the educated eye.

I also noted the "responding to bullying in a highly inapproprate fashion" comment. Love to know what exactly happened there, and whether the bullies in question were excluded as well or not. (My money is on NOT.) A study of the book itself, rather than the brief annotated version printed, might prove more enlightening.

Perspective plays a part here, or lack of it. How many mothers buy items for their offspring that are hideous, nasty, tasteless or just plain crap? Ok, so pissing on the offending article is maybe a bridge too far, but I'm sure most children have "lost" or "damaged" these "lovely" things before now, AS or NT. The crime is compounded even further if perhaps the son has an aversion to say.. orange, or is sensitive to the fibres. (Entirely likely in a spectrum child.) If the M+S coat is the one I think it is, then its f*cking hideous anyway. Implying it is "lovely" is simply placing her opinion over his, or anyone elses, and selling his reaction as even worse.

Also, if she has such an issue with him having the evil shadow of autism blighting his life for ever, why the f*ck is she laying down all of his "wrongdoings" in a book, for the whole world to see for all posterity? Any child will feel irritated, persecuted and anxious when a parent advertises their shortcomings for all to see. ("Yes, little johnny is still wetting the bed. He should know better at his age.." etc etc.) She is recording in print the fact she has desired to KILL HIM, her own first born child. Not to mention the obvious favouritism she shows to her younger child. Its no wonder he attacks the kid, hes probably jealous of all the attention she receives. This is all going to make him feel terribly special and loved. If she has an issue with him hating her now, how bad is she going to feel when he reads the book, and sees what she really thinks? Then, I imagine the Mail will be posting an article about "Mother Killed by ASD son in Book-fuelled Rage". If he doesnt resent her enough already, he soon will, and quite rightly so.

"Mother, you know this book where you called me a monster?"

"Yes dear?"

"F*CKING DIE HAGBITCH" *stabstabstab*

I agree that many of the problems mentioned in the article seem to stem from a lack of understanding of autism. For instance, the issue over the orange coat, which Macbeth mentioned. Why did she absolutely force him to wear the coat, rather than returning it? For all she knows, there *could* have been some sort of sensory issue going on. If I were her, I would try to find a small clothes shop that is usually empty (or empty at certain times), and bring her son with her to find something he likes. Or at least look at a catalog so he can have some input in it. I would also suggest looking for clothes made out of material he has worn willingly in the past. She lists his problems, but doesn't seem to have any insight into why he *has* these problems. I'm glad he's going to be going to a specialized autism school- maybe some of the professionals there will be able to help.

Regarding the food issues, that is definitely something which should be worked on with him, because none of those things are healthy, and such a non-nutritious diet may end up contributing to his problems. Either an OT or SLP could help with those issues. I had a whole course on swallowing disorders last semester, and there are techniques you can use to help a picky eater broaden their palate. It's not uncommon for kids with a disability, especially those who were tube-fed or on respirators early in life, to have a lot of issues with different food textures/temperatures, but they can be helped, if you work with someone who knows what they are doing.

One thing that really bothered me was the feeling of anger at her son that seemed to permeate the passage. I guess maybe you could argue she is justified in feeling this way, but it still bothered me, especially as I'm sure it hasn't been a bed of roses for her son either. It's not like he is trying to be willful, after all. He has a neurological condition that affects his behavior.

Probably should have tried giving him anti-anxiety medication like Xanax/Valium or something if he was constantly overwhelmed and anxious from the environment ("fight or flight"), and he saw that he had no option other than running or fighting -- this is the first line treatment.

Sounds like he probably has a conduct disorder too if he has physically abused his mother/sister; though overwhelming frustration and anxiety can make one violent, especially if one with an ASD is forced to do something he/she doesn't want to do.

Those with autistic disorder can communicate. I wish someone would rid the world of this misconception.

i've put in my two cents. The woman won't like it, but that's tough.

Short addendum:

I can turn into a "monster" when people try to force me to do things I don't want to do; I've done such on a few occasions.

I have to wonder if it was due to lack of interaction as well as lack of understanding. It sounds like she threw herself into the daughter and despised the son, which meant he probably got no time with her at all-no wonder he didn't like her much. Heck, she's griping about how he was when he was REALLY REALLY little... even the illness he suffered as a baby almost sounds as if it was more of a hassle to her than anything. He was given no reasons to trust or like her, then she shops for him behind his back rather than finding a store he might be okay with or maybe taking him to a store over and over so that he can get used to it... I'm fine once I get used to a place, it's getting used to it that takes me a long time. She actually says he managed to graffiti an ENTIRE playroom once... where was she? If his behavior was that destructive, why didn't she check when he got really quiet while focusing on what he was doing? Why does she refer to it as graffiti rather than something else... she sounds very shallow and embarrassed by him if anything else. Not once does she talk about how she personally tried to help him from what I can see, and if she does, she quickly mentions another *horrible* thing he did right behind it....

She claims the husband and her got a divorce because of it. She claims the husband was the one with the problem of him having autism... yet, she is the one who says "I don't think anyone who hasn't been there can comprehend what it feels like to hear the word autism in connection with your own child - to know he has a condition that will blight him for life." Sounds like she turned her back the minute she heard that in many ways and therefore didn't bother to try to understand. (oh... oh wait, you mean you can actually RESEARCH this one, or TALK TO OTHERS who have it? Nah, that would mean I'd have to do more work to understand the son that I don't like much to begin with.)

By the end of the article, I have a very hard time believing that she really wants what is best for her son... it sounds more like she just hopes they can "fix" him to be more like she wants him to be. Maybe I'm angry for the wrong reasons, but it's just so frustrating to see a parent complaining THAT MUCH about her own son, then calling him her beautiful, articulate boy at the end as if she really thinks she did him any justice in all of this... sickening.

0 comments visible so far?

are you remembering to mention the liberal elite, communism threat, baby-eating immigrants and the fact that your son smoked a joint and then assassinated his family?: That might help get your comments through the mails curtain-twitching filter system

monster-the online dictionary says it means a cruel and inhuman person when used for a human.
is he really cruel? choosing to be cruel? and since when can a human not be human?
it was probably the daily mail person who said that and not the mum,because it's them who make the titles up isn't it.

if her son was that much of a problem to her,she should have got him put in childrens home and adoption with people who know what they are doing.
mum and dad tried to get am put into care from toddler age onwards,because even the specialists and gp said there was no way to help am,and am was just 'disturbed' and severely badly behaved and it was their fault,they had the chances to put am into home but refused to go through with it every time,and instead said how am ruined the family and how sister was 'so much better than am',am would have been better off in adoption.

it would be better for children to go to people who know what they are doing rather than stay with people who do not care enough about their child and blame them for everything.
children do not choose to be born,it is the parents choice.


about no comments showing up...the daily mail will not show letters that do not say what it likes,am remember a long time ago,
a article about adhd [think it was saying only children have it and how bad it is for the parents] a lot of adults with ADHD including am tried to post comments but they did not get posted,and most of the ones posted were from adults saying how much of a tragedy
adhd is with their young children and from people saying it does not exist.
and then there is the ones about computer games,the daily mail is anti games,and has not shown comments from people saying how it hasn't turned them into killers and other good things about games.

The first two paragraphs are certainly distasteful. Thanks for posting a comment, it seems you have said more or less what needed to be said. I will add one when I sober up a little.

No, that isn't my comment.
Mine was a little more confrontational and abrasive. I doubt it will get through because I criticised the Press, lol.

OMG! That article is disgusting! I couldn't even finish it. The contempt that woman feels for her son is deplorable. I feel for him, so much. I can imagine that he was difficult to deal with. Any child raised in an enviroment that she provided would have emotional issues, much less a child who has autism. Not understanding autism as an excuse? I don't think so! She had the resources to learn. She had choices. She sees her children as status symbols. Her son was an imperfect blemish on her reputation. The title of the article alone is dehumanizing to her son, and shows how she feels about him. She very clearly favors the "normal" daughter, hiding him away like he's an embarrassment to the family. She didn't take him shopping, because she was embarrassed. Don't let her fool you into believing it was for his good. She could've problem-solved to help him be comfortable to take shopping. I do it every f***g day. My sons are much lower functioning then her son, and I have never ever treated, or thought about treating them the way she does her son. Not even in the moments that I'm cleaning s**t off the walls, which, btw happens frequently. These dehumanizing, devastation rhetoric filled articles, and videos need to stop. Autism didn't steal anybody's child, people need to get over themselves.
I'm sorry if this post doesn't make any sense, as I'm so mad I'm literally shaking. As a parent I cannot grasp treating my children the way some people do. I haven't been this offended since I watched the Autism Everyday video by Autism Speaks.

Hmm, I would be intrested to see what people comments people made. Then we can have some idea what will and wont get through. Thanks for trying everyone.

heres what i rote to them

I have Asperger's. And for what I can tell it isn’t the child. But the lack of parenting from the mother and father. If your son had the disorder why dint you put any time to learn how to deal with it. You should have just gave him up for adoption so parents who have the decentsy to understand the child and to learn to communicate with him. Reason he misbehaves so much is because he was frustrated you never tried to understand him or try to see things from his point of view. And worse of all your writing a rather embarrassing book about him. Im sure he will really like that after you screwed him up so much.


i took some talking points from you guys. and i hope they post it

What a horrible article. What mother would call her son, her own blood, a "monster"?! ! Someone should take away this woman's parental rights.