I don't know whether to worry or not

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I'm in a bit of a situation next month I am going away for 10 days I am going back to Jersey (not America) please is there someone here who has heard of Channel Islands it is where I was born I things seemed alright up until recently I have been invited to a restaurant for a free meal I know the manager there can't wait BUT here is the worry I found out yesterday that my ex girl who I haven't seen for 5 years works there she doesn't know that I am coming over and she doesn't know I'm coming to the restaurant.

Anyway it ended when I got my second diagnosis that was the occasion when I was told I haven't got AS of some kind and I am not on the spectrum. She was upset when she found out I was apprently NT since it has finished I have had another diagnosis where I was told I got it.

I'm also in trouble with her I hope she has forgotten about it well it was 5 years ago but I don't know whether to worry or not.

ugh, I know how that goes to some degree. It isn't really worth worrying too much about it though. If she broke off things just because of a diagnosis, then it seems awful silly to worry too much about anything else, because that in itself is pretty shallow I would say. Besides, a diagnosis is basically just someone's opinion on whether or not you have something, isn't it? The relationship shouldn't have been weighing on that alone to come through to find out whether or not it survives.

I don't know, I understand worrying though-it's not exactly something super controllable at times, but I hope you can see past whatever it was that you did, and realize her breaking it off over a diagnosis was no better. It's all very silly, and grudges are useless ultimately-try to just look at the facts of it if you get to worrying too much because it sounds like no one was really in the right when it happened, but that's beside the point now.

Now, you might not even run into her at all. It sounds like you are a decent friend of the manager if he is excited that you are coming there, and if you are there to eat and chit chat with him or whatnot, then it doesn't matter whether or not she is working there, as you are not there primarily to talk to her, and you are not obligated to either.

Whats the point in worrying?

I say its all water under the bridge. If she was that shallow with you to break up and boy that is a new one I've never heard of to break up with someone for not being AS. She's obviously worthless and you should waste another second even thinking of her.

Sounds like you have a good friend since he is excited to have you visit the restaurant and have a free meal. So I say go and enjoy your time with your friend. You might tell him just matter of factly if she walks by, yeah she used to be my girlfriend. Don't go in details, DON'T! But by telling him that may allow him to steer her clear of you and have another waitress work your table.

If you want to mess with her mind a little. You should get a different and sexy kind of haircut to what you wore when she was with you. And wear the exact opposite of the kind of clothes you did when she was around. I love to mess with my ex. I hate her guts. But its fun to make her mad. She got really jealous recently when she found out I have a new car. She also gets mad whenever she hears I am dating someone or even have new friends. lol

Enjoy yourself with your friend and enjoy your meal. Don't worry about the ex.

It ended two months after that. I told her one day and she kept asking me if I was joking. If I remember the words were. 'Please tell me your joking, I hope you are joking' and I said back 'I am not joking one bit' It ended two maybe three months after. We grew apart and it ended. But she got on with anyone who was on the spectrum which I knew then. I knew quite a few aspies then as well. I might just look them up. I don't know would an aspie who hasn't seen someone for a while be enthusiastic with the meeting. Anyway she is friends with the wife of the manager so she could end up trying to find a way to get out of working to sit with me.

Even if she does, there is no reason to hold any grudges. It was odd how you 2 grew apart after that, but silly, because a diagnosis doesn't change who you are one bit. You are still the same person, looking for the same answers, having problems with the same things, thinking the same way, etc.-I don't think I will ever understand that, lol. There seems to be very little logic behind it.

If she is in front of the manager and his wife, chances are she isn't going to talk about the relationship, lol. If she does, it will probably be good things as she does have an impression to keep in front of them. Just go along with it, try not to let emotions get into it. They are just facts as to how it happened, and it's in the past, no need to dwell on it really.

That's how I'm able to look at my ex's actually, lol. Mine were abusive in many ways, and I'm no longer with them. There's not much more to it, not much less. I wouldn't be thrilled to sit by one, but I could remain very civil if it happened, as they are just people to me now. They are people who did things that really don't make sense to me, only because I wouldn't do it. I can't say they were good, I can't say they were bad (who knows, maybe they are an awesome match for somebody else)... I can just say there is a reason I am not with them, and I am glad I am not. But it doesn't make them any more or less human to me.

Yes one can be enthusiastic about seeing someone and still have AS. I kinda wonder about your un-diagnosing anyway. But its a fallacy when some psychs say Aspies don't like other people or that they can't have friends. Some like to be social and enjoy others despite their klutzy social inadequacies while others are totally reclusive. Most are somewhere in the middle.

I live in the States, but have heard of the Channels Islands. Lets see.. Guernsey, Jersey, Alderney, Sark and Herm. Near France, and some folks speak dialects of Norman French.

Occupied by a time by the Nazi regime in WWII.

Never had a girlfriend, so I'm not sure what to say in that regard. Hope you have a nice holiday and everything works out for you.