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nameuser
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06 Aug 2024, 12:32 pm

Heard this dialogue on big bang theory. Reflected on my own relationships and felt incredibly heavy:

Sheldon: “Well, I hate to say it, but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.”

Amy: “Well, you would be the authority on the subject.”

Sheldon: “What does that mean?”

Amy: “Sheldon, no one is happier than I am to win the Nobel. But it's not more important than our friends.”

Sheldon: “How can you call them friends when they're abandoning us?”

Amy: “They're abandoning us because you broke
their hearts.”

Sheldon: “I didn't mean to.”

Amy: “I know! You never mean to. That's the only reason people tolerate you!”

Sheldon: “Does that include you?”

Amy: “Sometimes, yeah.”

Does this ring true to everyone?



MatchboxVagabond
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06 Aug 2024, 1:08 pm

I don't think that's really enough. You have to also be doing things that are generous in some fashion, even if you're an insensitive clod at times. If it were just us not knowing any better, but doing insensitive things anyways, people would just avoid us completely. You need something in the order of 3-5 positive interactions for every negative one if people are going to want to be there in the long term, and that's not going to happen if they're just writing everything off as ignorance.



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06 Aug 2024, 1:51 pm

Nope.
Because, well, wrong locale, wrong culture. :P

If I ever want a relationship in any sense or form, I'll make sure the phrase "I didn't mean to" as a consequence of hurting anyone emotionally is banned from any of my dialogue.


Here's one of my observations so far;

Declaratives; should never be given so away freely IMO.
Because it can range from condescending to being captain obvious if done too frequently and unasked for.
Unless you're drunk and that's your pass.

Otherwise, it's for actual pure observed and tested facts tied to the paradigm at large, not opinions, beliefs and even interpretations of anyone's actions unless subject under law and physics instead of relative interpretations of morality and sociology.

Declarative mood even much more so.
Good for something very situational, competitive, combative, argumentative, not for pleasant social bantering.
Never freely give such statement one away too often, because too much of such dialogue WILL certainly give someone an obnoxious know-it-all image.


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Carbonhalo
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06 Aug 2024, 2:44 pm

nameuser wrote:
people tolerate you!”

8O is that a thing?



lostonearth35
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06 Aug 2024, 4:58 pm

The Big Bang theory is just a piece of garbage written by typically anti-intellectual Americans.

This true for many, many other forms of media, because society hates intelligent people and think they will even bring the end of the world as we know it when it's really the anti-intellectuals who are destroying the world and causing nothing but chaos. The stereotypes are just plain ridiculous, especially with so many people believing them:

The smart character is an insufferable genius with no empathy or social skills that the other characters all hate.

the villains are always evil geniuses while the heroes are all strong and muscular. Brains bad, brawns good.

Science is always evil, cruel and unspeakable things are done to animals and people in the name of science.

Thinking is always bad, feeling is always good.

Not wanting to do what others are doing makes you the complainer, and the complainer is always wrong (unless other people are smoking or doing drugs).

I sound like the insufferable genius stereotype just from writing this. But it's not true at all. I'm not a genius, I'm just insufferable.



bee33
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06 Aug 2024, 6:20 pm

Sheldon's friends tolerate him to a degree that I'm not sure would happen in real life. He's incredibly condescending and superior, and insensitive, and is quite intolerant of anyone who is not like him or not as smart as him, which in his view is everyone.

I find it very difficult to be actively nice. I'm pretty good at not being a jerk or mean, so I am nice in that sense, but it takes being warm and kind to make people feel warmly toward you, and I don't think I know how to do that. It's always been a puzzle to me, in part because it's hard for me to guess what someone would like so that I could do or say that thing.



MatchboxVagabond
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06 Aug 2024, 6:32 pm

bee33 wrote:
Sheldon's friends tolerate him to a degree that I'm not sure would happen in real life. He's incredibly condescending and superior, and insensitive, and is quite intolerant of anyone who is not like him or not as smart as him, which in his view is everyone.

I find it very difficult to be actively nice. I'm pretty good at not being a jerk or mean, so I am nice in that sense, but it takes being warm and kind to make people feel warmly toward you, and I don't think I know how to do that. It's always been a puzzle to me, in part because it's hard for me to guess what someone would like so that I could do or say that thing.

Yes, although look at Howard. I doubt anybody would tolerate somebody like that either.

Raj and Leonard could plausibly have friends in real life though. And definitely all of the women.



__Elijahahahaho
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09 Aug 2024, 12:01 pm

Quote:
The Big Bang theory is just a piece of garbage written by typically anti-intellectual Americans.


True that.

People can genuinely like us for all sorts of reasons. Some people like that we know a lot about things,
others appreciate our sense of humour, others like that we speak truth and are not fake and
are genuinely more loyal and trustworthy than most people who are NT and therefore constantly
playing mind games and s**t.



DuckHairback
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09 Aug 2024, 12:32 pm

I'm also rather anti Big Bang Theory. I always feel like I'm the butt of the joke, when I see that show.

The character Abed in Community is, for me, a better example of an aspie character who is funny but not being laughed at for his behaviour.


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__Elijahahahaho
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09 Aug 2024, 12:47 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
I'm also rather anti Big Bang Theory. I always feel like I'm the butt of the joke, when I see that show.

The character Abed in Community is, for me, a better example of an aspie character who is funny but not being laughed at for his behaviour.


Yes!
Abed is a good one. Very high functioning though. His social processing is really fast.

Probably because the writer Dan Harmon is actually autistic, I don't think it's true of the writer for Big Bang theory.

I see the character Penny as a perfect caricature of the infantilizing and abusive NT treatment we get.



funeralxempire
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09 Aug 2024, 1:22 pm

I wouldn't tolerate someone like Sheldon for very long. The guy's an insufferable prick.


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MatchboxVagabond
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10 Aug 2024, 1:34 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I wouldn't tolerate someone like Sheldon for very long. The guy's an insufferable prick.

I think that's why they had to do that flashback episode explaining the elevator bring broken due too that screwed up calculation and Sheldon putting it in the elevator to contain the explosion.



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11 Aug 2024, 8:26 pm

I'm sure that I get away with things that most people don't. I get away with being a very honest person. If I cry, people don't look twice. I get away with being immature for my age. I get away with being rambunctious.


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