How Should An AS Sufferer Deal With A Gay Man?

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I attend a local health club on a regular basis. 99% of the membership are hetrosexual and most of the remaining 1% behave themselves, there remains one problem.

A male gay member has decided that he likes me but he is NOT being sensible about this. He watches me change, he follows me into the bathrooms and tries to watch me shower, he watches me towel off and he tries to follow me around the gymnasium (although he's not very good so he can't keep up). Three months ago I spoke to the health club management and they pulled this guy aside for a quiet word but now things are as bad as ever.

The easiest way to deal with this is to bury my fist in his face. This will probably pursuade him that I'm not interested but it will also get me banned. I might also get in trouble with the police. I'm therefore looking for sensible suggestions as to how I can deal with this situation.

Ed Almos

P.S. Quite how he latched on to me is a mystery. I'm fifty, slightly overweight and my remaining hair is going gray, I'm also hetrosexual. I can think of at least two homosexual members who would make far better targets of his affection (and they behave themselves).

Personally, I would go along with it and pretend not to mind, because I dont think its really something to get that worried about.
Its not like your sleeping with him or anything.

It definitely sounds like sexual harassment laws should apply and you could get him charged on that. I assume they're not only for women?

Better just take his offer, or you'd be politically incorrect and that would make you homophoebic

No I just had to rant at the pc idiots. But honestly, I know what your saying though. I've dealt with gays who were like that, to me that is the difference between a homosexual and a fag, a homosexual can respect that your heterosexual and doesn't act as if all hetero's are closet cases. A fag does, and will not accept that your heterosexual. I have no issue with homosexuals, in fact I've had several friends who were homosexual, I just don't like fags.

They way I've always did it was street justice, if he can't respect your boundaries, he can respect a fist to the nose. But I understand what your saying though, being in a public facility or group and having to abide by their rules and what not. If worse comes to worse, call the police on him for harassment.

Oh s**t nevermind, I always skim through posts without bothering to read them carefully, maybe I should for now on

I think alot people with AS give confusing signals to homosexuals making their gaydar detector's beep . Even if you explained to him you were not gay he might still feel your in denial. He might have got men who resisted more to go on dates in the past.

I guess just complain to the people there again or tell him to stop if you're comfortable doing that (I'm not comfortable with confrontation at all). Obviously don't do ANYTHING physical or you'll get in trouble, and could even be accused of committing a hate crime or something like this.

And this guy doing this has nothing to do with him being gay (other than that his target is a man rather than a woman). He's just a creep IMO.

Don't retaliate physically. You will get in trouble as a result, or worse, get charged with a hate crime. Do the right thing: complain to the management or the security. Tell them exactly what you told us, and give them a detailed description of the guy. Don't mention him being gay, just describe what he does every time he sees you. Remember: gay or not, what he's doing is wrong, and he needs to get in trouble for it. If he get in trouble, and tries to retaliate against you outside the gym (such as stalk you in the parking lot or something), go to the police. Again, what he's doing is wrong! Don't forget it even for a second.

If this homosexual male continues to make unwanted sexual advances, and this includes voyerism, I would insist on
management of the health club on doing something. No one needs to put up with sexual harassment. If the health club doesn't
remedy the situation, you can file sexual harassment charges against him and the health club facility. Or you can simply join
another health club.

Board members should note that I do not live in the USA or the UK, I live in Hungary. Any legal advice is therefore of questionable value as I haven't checked the Hungarian Legal Code on this issue.

Ed Almos

Call the police and have him arrested for harassment or stalking.