When did you realize people don't like you?

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I don't know if this applies to all of us, so I don't tend to presume it.

But, for me I realized people didn't like me around age 19 or so. It was demoralizing. I am 41 now and I can look back at every social situation involving groups and people never like me.

What made me realize it was I tried army ROTC (military training to be an officer if you are not familiar) my freshman year of college. I did all the exercise stuff ("PT" as they call it) in the mornings. But the "a hah" moment was there was on one PT session where it was only me and another guy that I knew no one else liked in the ROTC program. Everyone else was not there that day because the night before there was a party. Me and the other guy there were the only two not invited so us being there signaled to the faculty who the guys were that they didn't like.

Its been some version of that same story my entire life, that one is just one of many.

When either my 3rd or 4th post-primary school peer group evaporated.

People don't like me?

Try putting some bait on that hook

I realized it when people started throwing rocks at me when I approached.

Nah, I'm kidding. Of course people don't like me. I'm awful.

Not that people dislike me.
They're scared of me.
I confuse the hell out of them.

I realized this when I was really young.
Understandable it was because of being a little too violent and too volatile.

Kids thought it's funny. But adults knew better.
While kids like to provoke me out of some stupid thrill... Adults walk on eggshells instead.

I don't like it.
Not because of people's reactions to me.
But because of my lack of self control and unwanted emotionality; that what's frustrates me more than people being fricking people.

... And, more like, I realized sooner that I actually dislike people enough than actually want or need them in any way.

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My 7th birthday
Mom threw me a dope ass party and I gave invitations to everyone in my class
Only 2 people showed up, one of them told me directly that they only came because their mom forced them.
I've never thrown a party since

Since elementary school at the latest. I was picked on a lot throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school. Aside from the bullying, it was really high school when it hit me that I'm just plain not liked, though. Before then I at least had people I considered friends. In high school, my friend group from middle school turned their back on me and so did many others after that. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone.

No doubt I am still scarred by that.

Kindergarten.

Just after I started school, aged 5. A kid had a bag of sweets and gave one to everyone in the class. When he came to me, he looked me in the eyes, smiled, and shook his head.

That was when I started learning to mask.