Which Is Better

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I just found this place tonight.. and I'm so excited. What a wonderful tool. Hooking up with folks that are just like my family (and me).

Ok.... so this monthI've finally figured out what has been going on for years and years... and now I have questions for you anyone who is seasoned.

Is it better to fight Asp. urges - like the one I had for about 4 years. At least twice or (ok..three or four) times a week, no matter where I was, what I was doing, I HAD to make a trip to this one coffee shop, then to the craft store, then to the grocery store then home. The thing is... it made me very happy.... is that bad (other than taking a bite out of my wallet for gas).

Do I stop my son from lining? If I don't what will happen?

soo pleased to meet you.

Enjoy WP!

Do you mean stimming? Don't, drawing attention to it only creates anxiety and will not help.

There are many parents use these boards on WP and have good advice.

Hello,

Glad you've found this wonderful place.

If going to the coffee shop, craft store, grocery store makes you happy - do it!

My Aspie husband has his set routines that make him very happy. Every Saturday morning he goes to his Mum's for breakfast, the library and the shops. He takes our 3 boys. He loves this routine and I get a break.

Don't fight your Asp. urges - enjoy your special interests and routines.

I'm not sure what you mean by lining.

I have 2 sons with AS aged 9 and 7. My 9 year old flaps when he's excited or particularly anxious. My husband and I are happy for him to flap because it soothes him. I'm thinking it may lead to teasing, so we will teach him to try not to flap at school. But if he wants to flap all day at home, that's okay by me.

Regards
Helen

lining things up?

There are different kinds of urges/compulsions. OCD type compulsions are, in some sense, a source of stress and anxiety (if not allowed to perform them). More "autistic" kinds of compulsions are more like familiar or comforting things to do in a stressful world or when other things cause the stress or anxiety, not so much the source of stress itself.

Whether to try to stop them is a hard thing to say. A psychiatric professional and your judgement is probably better than internet message board.

Thank you again everyone.

Lining.. well... he puts everything in a line. I mean everything.... chicken nuggets, toys, rocks, couch pillows, videos...

He doesn't play with a toy, he keeps in it's box and takes them in and out again. If the wrong box touches the wrong matching tox - woooooo, bad bad bad.

One of the Doctors I went to see earlier on said to stop him. But if I did, I'd be making him upset all of the time, which seems very mean. If I don't stop him, what would happen I wonder?

My aspie son usually NEEDS to do stimming. It seems to has lessened with age (he is 10) but he lined up his toys when he was young. When he was very young he would line up the different size ratchets that went with my husbands wrench set and was completely happy doing it - why stop him? I have been able to teach him that there are places where it needs to be modified so that it's not so obvious. Usually at home I let him just DO IT and then he gets it out of his system and is less anxious.

I don't know, stopping it seems silly. One child might take a toy car and pretend he's driving it, another might make it a superhero of some sort, another might just fling it into things and pretend it crashes... your son just lines it up or takes it in and out of a box. That could just be how he plays with it. That is what my son does a lot, as well as lining and stacking things up. I see no harm in letting him do it, and don't really know what purpose it would serve to make him not enjoy any of his toys or be able to play with them the way that he wants to.

I lined stuff up (I still do), and I'm sure if someone tried to stop me from doing such I wouldn't be a happy Daniel. All it'd do is throw me further into my shell as I'd be uncomfortable. If you stop him he'll still be autistic, just an annoyed autistic child. Conversely, doing nothing and letting him be who he is will make him a happier autistic child. Said doctor doesn't know what he/she is talking about (I say that with 100% confidence).

You cannot "force" a blind person to see.

Welcome to WP.

If you're an adult then the best way I know of to deal with AS is to accept it and work with your limitations, this is MUCH easier than fighting it.

Dealing with kids is, I suspect, more difficult. As a child I spent hours in my own little world, this didn't involve lining things up but it did include collections of hundreds of electronic schematics. Find something that your son is interested in (cars, spaceships, trains whatever) then at least you will have something to talk about. I've never been a father so perhaps someone else can jump in with more useful advice.

Ed Almos

Ohh! you mean somthing like this:



A group of 20 to 50 yo on Sunday
see: London Meet up

I sometimes try to make things look neat myself. I was at a friends house, and i flipped over all the puzzle pieces in the box to make them right side up. Other times i'll try to make things symmetrical, line them up, or sort them in a way that seems logical to me.

Don't fight it, just make sure its appropriate.

awww, wish you guys were here... or that I was there, lol. The objects all lined up got me excited for some reason and I would have had a blast doing something like that I think.

Jesus, don't you guys know anything? They've got to be lined up around the table's periphery. Just looking at that image hurts me. ;)

Let him line things up - this is soothing for him. It will only stress him if you try to stop him.

Aspie kids feel comfortable with predictability.

Helen

WOW, you guys and gals want to make SURE everyone knows you are doing this intentionally! There have been times where I have lined things up, but it was more traditionally done. And I would have been more consistant!

So was that a group of people that do these things, or only aspies that happened to?