Ohhh man this is bad.. f**k

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Just now I was looking through some old forums I used to use, and found something very startling...
I looked at the way I wrote, and it was infinitely more intellectual sounding than a usual post I would make nowadays. Heres the thing, back then I used my brain more because it was before I spent a very long time not using my brain at all due to the severe depression. I used my brain more when I was focused on anger and hate instead of depression so I still had motivation to learn or care about anything at all. I used to love to learn, write, read, and all those things. Now I feel like since I havent used my brain for so long Im not half the person I used to be. Has anyone else experienced this?
Nowadays I find myself constantly editing posts and using google as a spell checker I used to never have to do that. Now Im scared and I just hate myself even more.

While in real life, I have degenerated mildly, I actually have improved my forum posting methods. I have thought about what I say for some time, but now I am even more careful and mature in my posts. Being made moderator helped. Being involved with about 4 other BBSes also would've helped....

I know what you mean. You'll get your brain back, don't worry to much about it. If I get depressed or otherwise unable to use my intelligence for a while, I get the impression that I turned into an idiot. I'm feeling like that right now. I normally need one night to write an essay, now I actually stop typing and look up words and concepts. It's very frustrating, but it usually goes away once I feel better and spend a few days resting and reading books then doing some simple mental exercises. I think it's my mind trying to tell me to relax by taking away the most precious part of me (my intelligence) until I correct the other problems in my life.

Well, for the past year or so I barely stimulated my brain with anything at all, so I hope the effects really are reversable..

Read some good books. Do a crossword or arrow-word.

***

A good way to start and to access your true intellectual state is to find a project to do or a text to read about something you are really passionate about and see how your brain does. I could not get any work done to save my life right now and spent 5 minutes earlier today trying to remember what lampshades were called yet if you ask me to figure out how to fix a problem on a computer, I'll get right on it and solve it in a record time.
Unless you have brain damage (which you wouldn't from being depressed), your intelligence and memory and all that are still there, you just need to find them.

Yeah, I guess your right. This is the thing though, on an average day Im still too depressed to care about much of anything, nevermind taking part in brain stimulating activities. I mean, posting on WP has definetly helped a lot with my state of mind, but I dont think Im quite there yet. What I need to do I think is to reach my current goal, which is to have the ability to live a good life. Interestingly enough, having the motivation to accomplish that goal hasnt been a very big problem for me since I came to this site. But I wont be able to do it alone....

It's the same thing for me, almost. I went through a severe depression that scarred my mind really bad. It was REALLY bad, and I was in high school. I feel like I've lost touch with my emotions...

Like the body, the brain needs exercise. So you stopped exercising your brain for a while and lost some of your mental 'fitness'. Also part of depression is losing clarity of thought.

You sound like you are improving, give it time and you'll regain your brain (hey, that rhymes).

Helen

I have major depression, and believe me, you will get your brain back.

Be kind to yourself.

My daughter Smelena who has just posted believes in exercise for depressiom. I can't believe she didn't post that!

Robyn

I know exactly how you feel, username88! My posts on other boards were way more intellectual too. Now I'm just like a "yo man, wats ^ on da flipside?" kind of person. My depression even affects how I talk, but my intellect always comes back when I get happier.

I think part of it is leaving school. I hated school, but it definitely kept me on top of my game in writing and especially math. Now, when I see basic math puzzles, it takes me forever to do them, ten years ago I was pretty good at mental arithmatic, now I feel like an embarassment I'm so bad. My writing isn't so bad (it's still not as good, especially my spelling), but certain things have gone downhill. School forces you to think intellectually for a full work day, when you actually get into the world of work, it's far less stimulating and you just don't think so much, so of course you lose some of those skills.