Do I have ADHD?
I wonder if I can have ADHD. Some of information about me:
- I was described as "hyperactive (psychomotorically)" (Polish: nadpobudliwy (psychoruchowo)) 5 times in my school timese, once ever I was described as having hyperkinetic behavior (nadruchliwość);
- I do not like staying without purpose, I often go without purpose (but it may be a trait of AS) which may be irritating for others and I like to have fantasies during it; when I stay on the church I tend to make quite large number of small body movements; I also like riding a bike much
- I have marked tendency to fidgeting, especially in hands (especially oft, palstic or elastic things such as rubber, bread cake), I also tend to fidget with bus tickets; I like physical activities
- On the studies I have problems with complex tasks, maybe also organization and planning (I "do not want" to make complicated projects, may have some sort of "aversion" to more complex intellectual tasks - I did not like writing essays, I had some difficulties with starting it), I may have problems with selecting, prioritising
- I am indecisive (it was a problem with deciding to which school I should go) and have marked tendency to procrastrination on the studies; indecisiveness may be quite large problem
- I may feel as (little) child (inside); do not think about my job; I do not want to have complex job; but simple ones (which may be good for people with autism or intellectual disability) appear to be pleasant routine for me and not (so) boring; I may be markedly immature emotionally
- I am attentive at lessons in school, but my attention may be markedly worse in other situations (such as in church or when I listen somebody's commands in home)
- I may be impulsive only sometimes (I "trained" myself quite strangely not to say impolite words when I was younger), impulsive bahviors may be also AS traits; I rather like to dominate in group and have problems with working in groups (but it is AS trait); I rather like meet new people and like contacts with them, I am not so strongly introverted
- I do not like risky behaviors (they are dangerous, may cause pain, may lead to disability, accidents) and like to finish things which I started; I may often forget when I left something (such as keys); my speech development might be "accelerated" (first word when I was 7 months old); I stopped "use" breastfeeding when I was only 8 moths old (what said my mother)
- my mind may appear to me to be "chaotic"
I think that I may have mild NLD, but I have not so much symptoms of it and think that many symptoms of my possible NLD may be in fact symptoms of something other (such as ADHD). I had marked problems with nonverbal communication, my social relations were "dysreciprocal" and I have large difficulties in social relations. I had "obsessive", atypical, somewhat stereotyped and narrow interests and atypical customs/routines/rituals. "Hyperkinetic" symptoms may be a form of stimming, not ADHD symptoms.
I think that my problems with complex tasks, decisiveness, organisation, planning, selecting may be really large problem. I may have some sort of "dysexecutive syndrome". Maybe I lowered my possible ADHD symptoms due to good will... My ADHD may be worse than AS itself. An administrator of Polish AS forum wrote that "ADHD is worse disorder than high-functioning ASD". I think that I may have ADHD (some sort of dysexecutive disorder) which lowered my occupational abilities. One other person from Poland wrote that ADD is her largest problem. Maybe a form of ADHD is the disorder which has the largest negative impact on my occupational skills?
I suppose that I have also SCT (even not so mild), which make me sluggish, slow, somewhat "lethargic", "spacey" and prone to daydreaming. Despite hyperkinetic behaviors I may feel having "low energy to do something", being "on the fog"m sometimes I may be confusable or have problems with alertness. But SCT appear to be not so strongly "dysexecutiving" as ADHD. I may have combination of ASD, SCT and ADHD. I was also told that I had "bookish case of OCD" (now I medicate OCD and it is much better); I was supposed to have schizotypal disorder or even be a schizophrenic on Polish AS forum. I have also odd sexuality since quite early childhood and unpleasant "psychopathic" thoughts. I think that I may have McDD.
I talked to a priest two weeks ago and he recommended me making "cerificate about disability" (I do not know what is its proper name in English, but in Polish it is "zaświadczenie o niepełnosprawności") and he told me that I "deserve" "conditioning hangout "(I do not know what is its proper name in English, but in Polish it is "zasiłek pielęgnacyjny") and should have scholarship for disabled people ("stypendium dla niepełnosprawnych") in my school. When I read about people who have "moderate level of disability" ("umiarkowany stopień niepełnosprawności") on Polish AS forum, they do not look as "weird" as I. I may have AS, ADHD, SCT, NLD, OCD, something from schizophrenia spectrum and some other anomalies (such as paraphilias), my family appears to be mildly pathological for me (parents may be somewhat "toxic"). My symptoms may be irritating to my parents. I may be more disordered than it seems to me.
I think you've described the ins-&-outs of ADHD to a tee.
A lot of people have this misunderstanding that social communication problems are only limited to the autism spectrum. And this just is not true.
It's very easy for ADHDers to fall under this problem as well, especially if they have comorbid anxiety problems.
And from the sounds of it, you seem to also have OCD like issues (which is not that uncommon in those with ADHD).
The combination of these can easily appear at times to be similar to ASD.
Either way, you need to get yourself assessed by a specialist.
mr_bigmouth_502
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I might be a bit biased, as I was just diagnosed with ADHD by a neuropsychologist yesterday, but it sounds like you have it. I can identify with a lot of your symptoms, particularly the fidgityness and inattentiveness, as well as the lack of organization. I also have trouble making decisions, I can be quite forgetful, and my thoughts can be very scattered and disorganized.
I have AS diagnosis since above 6 years. People with "pure ADHD" are not so socially inept (I had marked dyssemia - very poor eye contact), I also tend to be strangely "one-sided" in social interactions. It is possible for me than symptoms of AS and ADHD can somewhat "calm" each other. People with pure ADHD may have more difficulties in completing begun tasks, but people with ASD may be very consequent in their jobs. People with AS + ADHD may be not so organised as ones with pure AS, but also not so socially "not inept" than pure ADHDers. I suppose that it may be comorbidities. I suppose that other disorders (such as AS and OCD) may mask my quite possible ADHD. ADHD appear to be worse than SCT for me, ADHD is larger dysexecutiveness than SCT (SCT is like being somewhat "sleepy" and slow, but I think that it do not impair executive functioning as much as ADHD). SCT is also problematic. Combination of few neurodevelopmental disabilities (such as having the complet of ADHD + ASD + SCT) "breaks life's line" (Polish "łamie linię życiową"), as I read once on Polish AS forum.
ADHD looks for me as "dysexecutiveness", not (just) a "hyperactivity" (being "hyperactive" can be useful in some situations) or a learning disability (I do not have dyslexia, but have some visual-spatial-motor issues, maybe to the level of mild NLD). In my earlier schools "dysexecutiveness" was not so problematic, because I liked to learn, writing was often pleasant for me, being a form of pleasant routine. But I did not like writing essays - they were somewhat complex and required organization, planning, selecting... I may feel "confused" at the beginning of the work about an essay. After some time it became easier for me.
I may consider myself to be a "twit" (in Polish: cymbał, niedołęga, ciemięga - they are pejorative, colloquial words which can be offensive - especially first one, but "cymbał" is "funny" word for my mentality). I now feel as a child again. My symptoms are problematic not only for me, but also may irritate my parents. I read many posts of other person from Poland (Irulan who wrote nearly 4000 posts and is not a "nutter" as I) who has similar problems (she was also verbally talented, liked reading (even fiction literature, which is not so interesting for me, was very good speller) and she considered ADD (a form of "dysexecutiveness") as her greatest problem.
I may be "loaded" with mental anomalies. I appear not only as a person with "life-breaking" triad (ADHD, ASD and SCT), but also as someone who may be on the schizophrenia spectrum. I had magical thinking in childhood, it was quite severe earlier (it may be magical OCD without insight), I also had "grandiose" fantasies about special powers, "whacky" shame... I had bizarre sexual deviations since childhood and "sadistic" inclinations, which appear really bad and are somewhat "shameful" and "scary". It may be a case of multiple-complex developmental disorder. I do not know what to do im my life
ADHD looks for me as "dysexecutiveness", not (just) a "hyperactivity" (being "hyperactive" can be useful in some situations) or a learning disability (I do not have dyslexia, but have some visual-spatial-motor issues, maybe to the level of mild NLD). In my earlier schools "dysexecutiveness" was not so problematic, because I liked to learn, writing was often pleasant for me, being a form of pleasant routine. But I did not like writing essays - they were somewhat complex and required organization, planning, selecting... I may feel "confused" at the beginning of the work about an essay. After some time it became easier for me.
I may consider myself to be a "twit" (in Polish: cymbał, niedołęga, ciemięga - they are pejorative, colloquial words which can be offensive - especially first one, but "cymbał" is "funny" word for my mentality). I now feel as a child again. My symptoms are problematic not only for me, but also may irritate my parents. I read many posts of other person from Poland (Irulan who wrote nearly 4000 posts and is not a "nutter" as I) who has similar problems (she was also verbally talented, liked reading (even fiction literature, which is not so interesting for me, was very good speller) and she considered ADD (a form of "dysexecutiveness") as her greatest problem.
I may be "loaded" with mental anomalies. I appear not only as a person with "life-breaking" triad (ADHD, ASD and SCT), but also as someone who may be on the schizophrenia spectrum. I had magical thinking in childhood, it was quite severe earlier (it may be magical OCD without insight), I also had "grandiose" fantasies about special powers, "whacky" shame... I had bizarre sexual deviations since childhood and "sadistic" inclinations, which appear really bad and are somewhat "shameful" and "scary". It may be a case of multiple-complex developmental disorder. I do not know what to do im my life
Perhaps it's time to stop looking at it in terms of symptoms, and start looking at ways to get it fixed.
Are you on any meds at the moment?
Also, I'd recommend looking at complementary therapies, including: Probiotics, Methylation supplements, and perhaps herbs that help heal the brain.
I get Parogen now (paroxetine) because of OCD, "obsessiveness".
I do not know what will be with my life after the studies. I have only AS and OCD diagnoses. When I had AS diagnosis, I might also be diagnosed with mixed anxiety-depressive disorder (maybe AS ruled out possibility of OCD diagnosis forones who diagnosed me?). I may be so unsuitable to world that I may look or behave as an "idiot" in the job which would be adequate to my education level. Underemployment may be really possible in my case. I think that there is a problem not only with me, but also with my entire family. Other members of my family are often aggressive (at least in language), are not so neurodiverse as I, but the atmosphere in my home is not so good.
I remember that once in my life I heard that a boy who was serious troubles in school said loudly in my place of living about me: "Psycho! Psycho! ADHD! ADHD!". He may have intellectual disability, but he probably has a job and was a fireman. His grades in school were usually really poor, but he sometimes was really good in PE.
I think that I may be more extroverted than it may seem. I like contacts with people. I was rather not afraid of them. I like meetings in the family. I had "obsessions" about two of my female classmates in elementary school, which was not good. I was sometimes aggresive, I might want to hug them. I think that I might want to have a girlfriend when I was only about 6. I may feel strong need of having wife now. Marriage may appear to be fascinating to me. I may think about hugging, cuddling, caressing a wife, especially when she would be an "Aspijka" (female with AS or similar conditions). I feel strong need of love other people.
You sound so much like me. I was diagnosed with AS in childhood, but I'm starting to think I have ADHD, along with anxiety/stress disorder.
As a baby I was typical in development, and I socially interacted well as a toddler. As a child I was hyperactive most of the time, and at school I would behave then as soon as I got home I was almost jumping up the walls, as if I was bottling up my usual hyperactivity and needed to let it out. I was quite shy at school, and the only reason why I didn't have many friends was because I was too annoying and intellectually slow. But I didn't have trouble reading body language and all that sort of stuff. I just struggled with knowing how to behave socially around my peers without being annoying.
There seems to be a lot of discussion about how AS children play with toys. I don't believe there is a specific rule of how a child is supposed to play with a toy, unless its really extremely strange. I never repeatedly spun things or lined stuff up or anything like that. I made my toys interact, and I loved sharing my toys with other children too. Also I remember engaging well in imaginative play with other children too. I did sometimes act like a spoilt brat, even though I wasn't spoilt, but that's it.
I think I had some Autistic moments when I was a teenager, but I did go through a terrible time family-wise, and also my hormones were changing like every normal teenager. But when I got to about 16-17 I calmed down again.
Now as an adult I feel like I don't consider myself on the spectrum. Like one of the posters here mentioned, not only ASD people are socially awkward. Other conditions can affect an individual socially in other ways. Like my social awkwardness comes from either being too shy or being too hyper (not extroverted, just hyper in behaviour and needing to say what I want to say, etc).
I don't have trouble lying at all either. Also I can read other peoples thoughts and emotions without having to be told, and I don't lack common sense either.
So I often think I have ADHD. I do want to get tested, but I'm scared they might say its not ADHD. I just feel people will understand me more if I say I have ADHD than if I say I have AS. For some reason society has a pitiful view on Autism.
_________________
Female
You are similar to me. I think that you are an "Aspijka" (Polish word (which is nice and cute for me and is neutral or even positive, not negative or derogatory) for a female with AS or similar conditions) even if you are not on the "classic autism" spectrum at all. "Aspijkas" such as you even may appear to be more interesting than Aspijkas with "classic ASD", which tends to be more rigid, "introverted". You appear to be intelligend, friendly person.
I had really poor eye contact before I read about AS, my facial expression also sometimes looked "stupid" to my mother. I had strange interests, such as road signs, maps. In early childood I had strange customs (not going to some vehicles because there was something "ugly" in it). I might engage in "complex stereotyped body movements" in childhood.
I think that I may be not on the "classic autism" spectrum at all. I have not talent to pattern thinking, eidetic memory, programming is not so interesting (even boring) for me. Schedules are also rather boring and "limiting" for me. I do not like to have "compulsive" rituals. I am rather a verbal thinker (I can have visual tinkng also, but verbal dominates and my visual thinking is often not used in "practical" way). I have rather accelerated development of speech, obviously not delayed. ADHD may fits me better than NLD (I may have both, NLD should be (really) mild, I do not think that marked impairment of nonverbal communication (such as really poor eye contact) is a symptom of NVLD, which is for me just visual-spatial(-motor) developmental disorder). But I see traits which are autistic or schizotypal in me. My case looks as a strange hybrid.
I may somethimes "do not know how to say or write". Why my mind may appear to be so "chaotic"? I rather do not have depression, I am not so angry... Maybe I have ADHD-combined type + SCT? SCT is rather "unknown" in Poland, ADD is also rather not known so well.
I think that there may be some stereotypes about ADHD, such as:
- "people with ADHD are aggressive and rude"
- "they can't finish any thing what they began"
- "they have inability to pay attention on the lessons in school"
- "they just can't sit on seat in school"
I may be "unable" to do nothing or "unable" to "not to think". I like to be in move. When I was younger, I rode a bike a lot. I also liked fidgeting really much. I rather do not have plans about job. Why my mentality is so "disorganised"? I got some medications due to "hyperactivity" when I was about 6.
I find an article comparing ADHD and NLD (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1640.html). It's hard to say what fits better to me.
ADHD
Can't sit still, fidgety. High levels of energy.
Impulsive, engages in dangerous activities. Can't wait his turn.
Talks rapidly, interrupts impulsively.
Easily distracted. Shifts focus prematurely from one activity to another.
Seeks change and novelty.
Overlapping Signs
Poor social skills.
Academic difficulties.
Inattentive.
Overfocuses on certain tasks.
Often talks excessively.
Says exactly what she's thinking when she thinks it. No internal censor.
Nonverbal Learning Disorder
Poor balance and athletic skills. Sedentary. Poor spatial skills. Clumsy.
Highly verbal. Precocious language acquisition and articulate speech.
Poor fine motor skills. Poor handwriting.
Does not do well with novelty or change. A homebody. Risk-averse.
First set of NLD traits fits me rather well. I had good language acquisition. I can be highly verbal or too "silent", I liked to talk about my topics. My speech may be not so "articulate" (I have troubles with saying "r" sound to being about 5 - 6 year old). I have also rather poor fine motor skills, but my handwriting was good even when I was 7. I can like many changes and like novelty, liked new people. But sometimes small change may be not wanted by me (such as change of the appearance of TV weather forecast, change of appearance of the walls in the kitchen). I liked to ride a bike when I was about 10 and leand how to ride it when I was 5 years old (early as a person with AS and possible NLD), when I was younger I often was on the cart full of hay (it had some meter height), which was somewhat dangerous, but rather pleasant for me.
I was hypeactive or even hyperkinetic child. I do not like to sit without purpose. I like to write, to make some motor movements. I have marked tendency to fidgeting. I and my brother quite often were somewhat "aggressive" to ourselves (it was evil). I do not like risk because it can bring pain and harm. I may talk fast, often interrupted. But I do not say too much many times. I think that I am not so easily distracted or shift focus from one activity to another (maybe because many activities were simple or pleasant to me, not boring, such as writing, drawing, playing). So I have doubts if I have ADHD at all.
I am sluggish, "lethargic" despite tendency to walking without purpose, fidgeting. I am prone to daydreaming (may have "maladaptive daydreaming" quite often, which is associated with visual thinking and appear to be associated with pleasant, somewhat "mysterious" memories from the past) and may appear to be "spacey" or "on the fog". I like to do things slowly, which is like "pleasant play" for me. I may be more certain that I have SCT than ADHD, I do not know if I have ADHD, but SCT appears to be very possible.
I do not think that I have more serious learning disorder. School learning is my large advantage! I do not liked essays (maybe due to ADHD, not NLD) and was often poor in Physics, but I had never repeated the grade in school, wrote my "mature" exams really good. My possible NLD may be really mild. I am not a pattern thinker with IT gift or eidetic memory. I am interesting about the cause of my problems with executive functioning. Is it NLD? AS and special interests? OCD? A subtype of ADHD? Or I have so "mixed" set of disorders that they may alleviate one another? I might think that I have just NLD and an anxiety disorder. But I have also "weird" symptoms, which fits to AS (marked dyssemia, unusual, persisting interests) or schizophrenia spectrum disorder (such as magical thinking (which leads to serious OCD earlier and still occur, but is milder) or bizarre fantasies such as grandiose or about special powers). Maybe my fidgeting and hyperkinetic behaviors are forms of stimming associated with autism? I think that I have one-sided social needs (and may be very boring due to it because of dysreciprocity, idiosyncratic pattern of social needs), I am rather not interest in being loved by others. Maybe my form of AS would be better described by the term "multiple-complex developmental disorder"?
I am interested if I have ADHD. What type of it? I may have inattentiveness and hyperactivity, but not impulsivity. Maybe it would be ADHD-PI or maybe even ADHD-C? I am not so angry person at all. I have relatively low amount of anger in my life. I do not like risk.
If I have ADHD, is it clinical in my case or only subclinical? If something is interesting, pleasant for me, I can pay attention quite easily. I feel "confused" and "chaotic", it is strange feeling.
I want to know my comorbidities. I am interested if I have the combination of ASD, ADHD and SCT. If I have all three ones, it would be not so strange that I have so much social and executive problems.
Can clinical ADD symptoms be the result of "nonverbal learning disorder"?
Impulsivity is the main indicator of ADHD. Not inattentiveness or hyperactivity as the name of the disorder would seem to indicate. Attention problems can be a sign of many different disorders and can have a lot of different root causes. But in ADHD, inattentiveness is mainly caused by impulsivity. And hyperactivity in ADHD comes from motor impulsivity. You cannot have ADHD without impulsivity.
My case may look more like "NLD" but this complex developmental disorder is blatantly misnamed. I am rater calm. Impulsivity is associated with anger in my mind. I am rather not so angry. I do not like anger, usually was not malicious. I like control, also control of impulses. I do not like risk. My case may look as severe SCT, moderate ADD and mild NLD now. I have also hyperactivity, but by what it is caused? Maybe it is a form of autistic stimming, not the result of impulsivity? But the "impulsivity disorder" may be not present in my case. Maybe my "(developmental) dysexecutive disorder" has other etiology than ADHD? For me my dysexecultiveness is not (only) NLD and may look as a set of symptoms of pervasive developmental disorder. I do not know so precisely how impulsive I am. Impulsivity easily leads to immoral, sinful acts, so it would be problematic. I may be impulsive only sometimes.
My case may fit better to this:
Disorder of Executive Functions
Executive functions include planning, organization, mental flexibility, working memory, regulation of attention, self-monitoring and more. For some children this set of abilities is not strongly developed. In everyday life, these are children who are forgetful, unorganized, sometimes impulsive and often have difficulties thinking things through before acting. There is overlap between ADHD and this disorder.
Than to:
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
ADHD is a developmental disorder. The major clinical characteristics include inattention, impulsivity, distractibility and a lack of behavioral inhibition. Increased motor activity is sometimes but not always, present.
(from http://www.nldontario.org/articles/BrainFunction.html)
I rather do not know what exactly I have. My OCD may be mostly schizotypal disorder.
I learn how to ride a bike when I was about 5 years old (realtively early), have rather good (not poor) handwriting (my brother, sister and mother have worse in my opinion), I started to walk early. I like maps, vivid colors and visual stimuli. It does not look so "NLDish"...
So the name "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" (ADHD) is misleading! It would be better named as (for example) "developmental impulsivity disorder". I appear to be rather not impulsive, so "impulsivity disorder" should not fit me.
Some "ADHD" symptoms may be just PDD symptoms, such as hyperactivity (form of stimming?) or emotional immaturity. Organisational issues may be symptoms of an executive functioning disorder. Mild visual-spatial-motor disorder may also be present. But SCT may be most apparent, constant type of dysexecutiveness in my case. The name ADHD appear now to be bad nad misleading, like "infamous" for me term "nonverbal learning disability".
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