I am newly diagnosed post age 50. Glad to have found this forum.
I have a lot of the well-known Aspie (ASD) traits.
I am very reluctant to put myself out there in complex social situations, such as a work event.
It isn't enough that I listen to others and express myself. I have to think about too many things: what other people want to hear, dealing with their reactions/opinions, their reactions to my reactions, their questions about where I live, who am I dating, etc.
Also, if I tell them my interests, I have to hear their opinions about what such and such that I just said doesn't make sense to them. Then there is the usual male-totem-pole "I'm high status than you" BS that happens at these meetings. There is the indirect shaming BS, etc.
In general, I dislike meaningless small talk. In such events, I just zone out into my alien brain.