Managing "being lead on" by "dishonest rapport"

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

__Elijahahahaho
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 9 Jan 2024
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 199
Location: GERMANY

Yesterday, 7:29 am

I feel like I am pretty socially starved so
I kind of form an emotional bond too quickly with some people
who show any kind of attention.

If it's an obvious salesperson, then I can filter it if I am on a good day,
but recently I met one woman who seems also to be a bit autistic,
she often relates everything I say back to herself, but it seems like
she is lying, because a lot of the similarities are waay too many and too far-fetched.
Also she mentioned that as a strategy if she didn't want to say something just
make it up, and she studied interpreting, which meant she practices predicting
who people are and what they say next so she is good at mimickry.

I feel like she is not all bad, but I obviously feel pretty upset when she disappears
or doesn't treat me with the same level of attention as the bond that I feel exists,
even though for her it probably doesn't.

I guess learning to recognise when she is doing the thing has been somewhat effective
but it requires a lot of mental work to untangle my emotions from the things that she says.

In the end I just ended things.



LittleBeach
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2024
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 485
Location: UK

Yesterday, 1:16 pm

I think what you experience with this woman could be her autistic “masking”. I am sometimes good at faking rapport with people even though I don’t feel a connection and just feel like I’m acting. I don’t do it to hurt people or lead them on, I just do it because I don’t really know how else to socialise.

I know it can be very hurtful when you are more emotionally invested in someone that they are in you. I try to deal with this by not getting my hopes up about how the other person feels about me, I try and instead focus just on how they make me feel and get the best out of that, and try to make no guesses about how they might be feeling



FineLine
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2024
Gender: Male
Posts: 71

Yesterday, 1:28 pm

OP...i feel your pain...for real