Took a long time

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What are some examples of things that took you a long time to figure out?

Three separate professionals with masters degrees told me that the reason why some people are homophobic is because they think they are perfect and anyone different is bad and wrong

It took me fifteen years to figure out that that is not a correct statement because some gays also think they are perfect, but they are not afraid of straight people

My theory about the reason why some people are homophobic is that they - in most cases probably only subconsciously - are worried about being gay themselves. Seeing or hearing about gays reminds them about something they don't want to think about.

Hello,

Something that took me a long time to understand was how my inner self hatred was pouring out into my relationships, even in the most casual encounters. Furthermore, the people I was choosing was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself, choosing people who I knew in the back of my mind were going to eventually hurt me in some way.

I started to realize that although I may not be the offender, I am just as much an enabler and it takes two to tango. And ultimately, after experiencing so many relationship conflicts I turned into an offender myself. As in, I’ve hurt people out of fear of being hurt, or in direct response to being hurt I would take it to the next level. This has done me harm in the way that it has isolated me, made people afraid of me, and hurt people who did not necessarily deserve it.

I am working on my flaws in this way. I feel lighter after coming to this understanding, more equipped to choose the “right” people (or rather people who share my values).