People asking you if you're ''ret*d''

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how do others not find this rude to ask?

If it's point-blank out of the blue; I'll make a clown out of them; petty for petty's sake.

If it's done in a convoluted and manipulative way, I'd be more than inclined to flip the bird and commit whatever malicious compliance...
And will register that it's mostly about them.

... But if I'm in my otherwise wiser states...
Other than adding an ammo from whatever they'd thrown at me...
It can literally register to mean nothing because my ego isn't in the driver's seat to warrant any insecurities that do not reflect reality.

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I tell them that they shouldn't make assumptions until they get to know me.

I would suggest going on the offense instead of playing defense. Say something to the effect of no I'm not but I thank you for being so brutally honest with me. You will have no concerns with me because I never repeat what I have been told in confidence. You can't help how you were born so love yourself as you are.

When people ask me if I'm retired, I respond truthfully, only because the truth is that I'd like to find a job. This usually makes them feel a bit uncomfortable. I guess they weren't expecting that answer.
Then I ask them if they are retired, no matter their age.
I don't know if I'm being passive aggressive with that or not.
I did enjoy Fnord response, so logical and appropriate.

I would ask them what they think qualifies as "ret*rded" if it applies to me, then I would say yes, but then ask excessive questions to screw with them