Diagnoses you wanted vs. diagnoses you got

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I actually liked it when Dr. L. at the adolescent clinic in Montreal when I was 13 said I probably had AS. I loved the way he said it: Katherine is an absolutely normal gal. Katherine has Asperger's Syndrome." He didn't treat me any different once I explained to him what my mental problems were.


My drama therapist thought it was so cool to have AS; she was jealous! But that's probably because I was really fun and outgoing and spontaneous with her, I enjoyed doing stuff with her, and she and Dr. L. seemed to think (or know?) AS was a social anxiety thing. I liked their attutude about it.


Dr. F. on the other hand... I hated his attitude! He treated it like more of a problem... I hated the inaccurate assessment he made, I hated how he put me down to put himself up ("Like me, for example," he said, "I know to stop talking when someone else is trying to." It wasn't exactly that I didn't know. It was more that I jsut needed to get it out. I wasn't denying I had AS, but I didn't have THAT kind of AS.


My mother gave so much misinformation to others about "my" AS... she was describing AS but not the kind I had... that I hated my diagnosis with a passion!


I believed that all the misconceptions from my mother and that doctor who was half asleep when he interviewed and diagnosed me plus all the OTHER stuff in my life gave me PTSD! I had all the symptoms of PTSD... EVERY SINGLE ONE... except for the traumatic event... even though those events were traumatic to me, the people on this PTSD site I went to said that they didn't qualify as traumatic...


I believed I was schizophrenic before because I had lots of symptoms, though I didn't have the hallucintions or delusions. I found it sort of cool to be schizophrenic without those (the interesting parts, like multiple personalities that showed I was open-minded and multi-sided) but uncool with them.


I wanted that diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, because I truly did have it. My shrink doesn't believe in labels, so he may not even diagnose me with anything, but he said without prompting from me that I had a very severe depression... that will probably be my main diagnosis if he even decides to diagnose me with something... that and the Sensory Processing Disorder diagnosis which I also want... I suffer from sensory deprivation.


I have many ADHD symptoms... especially the storm-chasing understimulation. I wouldn't mind being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, which many people think is fun.


I used to have all the symptoms of bipolar except for the hallucinations, and my moods weren't as extreme, so it was probably cyclothymia... and it didn't last long anyway, only like a year or two for most of the time.


I wouldn't mind being diagnosed with PDD as long as it says clearly on the top of the assessment "Disorder does not mean delay!"