So I've been searching constantly online ruthlessly online every group every forum every social circle every video game every video game app everywhere to try to find people to make friends with around me I've been on every dating app that can be imagined have spent probably $5,000 in the last 3 years on dating apps I've been to every public place that I can think of and that I can find to try to make friends and I'm only now realizing that I might be the only autistic person in the whole Gonzales Louisiana and I'm also coming to realize that I will never have a girlfriend so I am to the point to where is the devil himself hears me then I will make a deal My soul for a girlfriend, and I am dangerously dead serious cuz I am that desperate, Even tried and wasted $4,000 tryst. And sadly nothing helps My sister has on her own family, yet I'm so jealous I can't even bother to call her to tell her Merry Christmas because I'm so jealous of everything she has and that jealousy has cut her off completely from me I live with my father but he goes off to his girlfriend's house for Christmas My entire family gets together for Christmas I'm never invited cuz they don't live around here except for my father and I'm not invited to her house I would trade my soul for a girlfriend even if that girlfriend was a demon I don't even care I just wish I had a girlfriend and I would trade salvation at this point for it, because loneliness is as bad as being burned alive and tortured and hell to me.
Yesterday, 9:36 pm
