Apathetic Towards the Autistic Community

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I got the classic autistic diagnosis as an infant, which was upgraded to high-functioning autism in junior high, and while I accept being autistic, I've never felt in place anywhere, within my family (with my parents and siblings being especially bigoted towards me even though they know I'm autistic, even though my parents had formal special education training), or even other autistics offline and online. I was once part of a local Asperger's support group, but they were nothing like me as they exemplified negative autistic stereotypes and weren't interested in the same things I was, and the same went online. I had been part of an autistic Discord server and I complained about being ghosted online (which has happened frequently with me), only to get shot down, which caused me to leave. The same with another Zoom group online because the others expressed identity politics, and even in the furry fandom (and I love doing furry art). Likewise Facebook groups. I really feel like a man without a country. I have a unique perspective I like to express (especially on my DeviantArt page with my memes), but I disabled comments since I get nasty remarks. I also don't like arguing my point since I get gaslit and invalidated with BS logic I disagree with. I don't feel in-place anywhere. I live in my own apartment (having moved out of my toxic parents' home since they're in a shame marriage and won't seek counseling), and I never want to move in back again. I'm off psych meds since they were frying my brains and not helping. I'm trying to seek non-medicinal therapy, and I have my first in-person session on Monday (I had an evaluation earlier this week). I feel I'm alone, but nobody cares, even those within my family who claim they "love" me, but again, their other words and actions show otherwise. I don't know.

There used to be a Aspergers special interest group on line with Mensa. However, a few people ruined it because they would bully everyone else. Sadly, this can be an Asperger trait. You might try researching various alternative to medication. For example, I heard omega 3 fish oil was helpful for bipolar 2 and Inostitol for OCD.

I think the Aspergers community to be like most others, some you will get along with and some you will not. Online is tricky because the most obnoxious have the loudest voices. One work around on line is to ignore the obnoxious and if you find someone with whom you would like to go deeper, send them a PM and see if they are also interested.

You might not want to be too hard on your parents. As you get older you may become more sympathetic. Many parents got off to a poor start themselves.

Sad to hear that.

I don't relate especially well to groups of people with ASD myself, (though I don't do any better with NTs.) We get some sense of camaraderie with each other, I guess, but our special interests and attitudes may be too individual and strong for us to agree very much with each other or to be all that interested in each other's interests. And we probably hurt each other with our social ineptitude as much as we hurt NTs. There are good reasons why there's no such thing as a physical, real-life autistic community that's become some kind of paradise where Aspies are all getting on well.

I can't offer much advice, except to keep looking for "like minds," which admittedly is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I don't insist on potential friends being autistic. As long as we share something and don't differ too much on core values, that's usually enough. There's a lot to be said for keeping quiet when the other person has different beliefs, but resisting the temptation to argue can be very hard, and people can get quite nasty when I do, mistaking a genuine search for the truth for something more competitive.