Discomfort saying name

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Although I've gotten used to it now, for as long as I can remeber, it's always felt weird and uncomfortable saying my own name. Like when introducing myself to someone. Can anyone relate?

Absolutely. Particularly my last name which I find really uncomfortable to say. It's not a common name and I've never been sure if it's just because it has some letter combinations I find tricky to pronounce or something else. One of the things that I dislike about it is that I used to hear my dad say it on business calls and I always disliked the way he said it. When I say it I hear my dad because I say it the same way but can't seem to say it any other way! Plus, people always seem to mishear it anyway, it's not that outlandish, so I often end up spelling at least part of it and who can be bothered with that?

In a way, mostly because I'm not that fond of my (very Dutch) name. I don't hate it, but I wouldn't have picked it for myself.

Just wondering, do you not like your name, or do you feel uncomfortable introducing yourself, or...?

Last edited by Putteke on 02 Apr 2025, 11:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's not that I don't like my name. I have a hard time describing the feeling. It's just...uncomfortable. same goes with addressing other people. Not everyone, but for some reason I'll avoid saying certain people's name when speaking to them. This os just one of MANY things I've noticed about myself over the years that make me suspect I could be on the spectrum.

Do you experience something similar when naming things? Like books, a table, a city, whatever? Or is it specifically people?

Just people

I did a little bit of digging, hope you don't mind. Some options I found are worrying about saying a name wrong, but since it also applies to your own, that doesn't seem too likely.

It might also be the case that using a name makes an interaction feel too direct/intimate. I can kinda see that, as that's a more common issue for people with autism.

Personally I'm pretty bad with names, so I sometimes try to avoid using names for that reason, but that's a whole other thing. I'm just curious, how would you say it impacts you? Is it reason to avoid conversations, or more of an annoyance (or something in between)?

Hmmm...its really hard to describe the feeling. Almost like a shameful feeling. I'm not even sure that's the correct word for it. If there's someone that I get that feeling with, I usually will avoid saying their name to get their attention amd just speak or ill avoid it until I already have their attention. Does that make sense? With my own name, I've kinda gotten over it for the most part. I have a specific childhood memory of asking my cousin if he felt weird saying his own name and him saying, no.

Only in the USA where they don't seem to be able to hear my name right, and often ask me to repeat myself, and I often have to spell it out to them before they get it.

I don't like using the full version of my forename because doing that seems to reflect and endorse the things my parents wanted me to be, which was a bit of a sore point in my teenage years. So I kind of feel like I'm giving in to the suits. And Mum always used to start sentences with my full forename when she was telling me off. I soon started calling myself by the shorter, familiar form of my forename, which my parents didn't like me using. But I have to use the full form if I'm talking to an official, at least if I'm trying to get their full co-operation. A member of security staff at an airport was suspicious when she asked my forename and I gave the shorter version. "That's not what it says here," she said. So I had to explain that the two names are interchangeable. I thought everybody knew that. Like talking to a bloody robot.

But it's no big thing with me. Just a slight reluctance.

There can be uncertainty in giving one's name. For example, if a person now knows you, will he contact you, do you need to consider what might be required from you, or are there any incumbent obligations. These sort of uncertainties can contribute to uncomfortable anxiety.

I think this is a more common issue than one might think. My husband, an aspie, has never liked calling me directly by any name at all, and usually finds a nickname to call anyone else. He also dislikes his own name.

When I got married, I found it disassociating to start using his last name. I don't feel it has anything to do with me and would rather have my own last name. I used to go by my last name, but since we have a child now I use his. People kept misunderstanding and thinking we were not married.

I used to work for a man who did not like native English speakers to ever attempt to use his first name because hearing it said in a non-Spanish way was so cringe to him. He gave himself a nickname form of his first name for his friends to avoid the problem.

I do that too sometimes, but mostly because I'm terrible with names.

Hope you don't mind me asking a 100 questions, but are there names you do particularly like? Or have you ever tried using a nickname or something like that? Rather than SleepKeeper you could call yourself SK, like some people do. Don't know if SK makes much sense, but I'm also guessing that's not your real name .

Actually the username is just to remain anonymous on this site. I use my real name frequently on other social sites. Writing or typing it dosnt really have an affect on me. Just the saying out loud part.