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DevanteJ64
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01 Apr 2025, 12:10 pm

I only recently learned the word for this. It took a long time to work up the courage to tell people to stop being patronizing but also maybe they're trying to meet a friend half way in a sense. It just felt so insulting to be spoken to all the time in such a way. I don't know, how do other people here that may experience this manage this more efficiently?



ToughDiamond
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01 Apr 2025, 2:10 pm

I guess I either counter it or ignore it. I've not noticed it being much of a problem for me now I've done with school and work. It's when you get somebody with some power over you who does it that it gets annoying. It takes a lot more work to find a suitable come-back line that doesn't get you into trouble. If it's a really energetic egomaniac doing it, they might do all in their power to punish you for having the cheek to act like you're an equal with a mind of your own. But I guess most people aren't that horrible.



Stargazer99
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01 Apr 2025, 2:23 pm

I agree with Tough Diamond. People who infantilize others in the workplace are usually controlling and manipulative. Avoid toxic work environments like that or you will hate the job.

One of the advantages of being on the autism spectrum is that we can be direct when communicating. Speak the truth and that is difficult for anyone to refute. Even when I witness this being done to someone else I call them out on it in a logical way. For instance I may ask the perpetrator, “Why are you speaking to him as if he was a child?” “Would you like it if someone spoke down to you? Does that motivate you?”

There is no excuse for another person to diminish someone like that. Not ever. And it is our responsibility within the autism community to defend against abusive behavior like that.

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Pink Zeppelin
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01 Apr 2025, 4:12 pm

I thought this was a paraphilia where (usually) men would dress up in diapers and be mothered by their partner. Guess I was way off base with this one.



Putteke
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02 Apr 2025, 11:14 am

I feel my boss does this sometimes, although with the best intentions. I don't have a great pokerface, so if I'm disappointed or something, it probably shows. I think as a result, the boss has been overdoing it a bit with the complements and kinda treating me with kid gloves. That's mostly on me, and I appreciate the effort, but I also feel kinda guilty about it. Like my colleagues think they have to be extra careful around me.



funeralxempire
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02 Apr 2025, 5:21 pm

Pink Zeppelin wrote:
I thought this was a paraphilia where (usually) men would dress up in diapers and be mothered by their partner. Guess I was way off base with this one.


I believe the term for that is ABDL or paraphilic infantilism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism


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Edna3362
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02 Apr 2025, 9:29 pm

To me, people trying to patronize me is no different than giving me whatever opportunities one will come up when being underestimated.

Instead of getting mad because people are 'not taking me seriously' or 'not giving me enough respect'. :roll:

I just see it as them walking themselves into giving me a choice whether or not make them regret it.


To me, it's a clear sign of what dynamic people as expecting of me, making some of the socialization aspects more predictable...

... And use it to surprise them out or sping a trap on them because of said dynamic when the right time comes.


Because...
Really, people's values systems do not point about me and more about them.
And I knew myself way better than anyone.

I have enough ego to stand within and make do with how people treated me instead of convincing them otherwise. I can afford to.


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