AS getting me down

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I have recently completed a work training course, the conclusion was to present a small piece of that work to a handful of senior managers.

I explained to the trainer of the course that i had AS and i would not feel comfortable in front of an audience.

To cut the story short the rest of my group presented our work whilst i sat to one side.I could only admire the way they communicated and presented our work, whilst managers were looking baffled and wandering why i was not taking part.

My decision not to take part is because i would have looked completely inept i.e monotone voice, extreme nervousness, e.t.c.

I feel like a complete freak, f**k Aspergers.

I'm sorry.

I know the feeling. Same happens to me. I don't function in things that are so easy for NTs. Then I'm blamed and guilt-tripped for my limitations on top of it. I'm taking anti-depressants so the fear, panic, frustration that results from my AS relations with people don't add insult to injury. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never advance at work or have people in my life. I enjoy life on my own and do the best I can with what I've got. I made the decision to stop fighting AS and trying to make friends. Now at least I feel more free.