I dropped my history class... should I feel bad?

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I finally realized I'm just NOT getting it in the class. Everybody I have talked to keeps on saying "why don't you just give it a shot and see how you do? All you need is a 'C'." But that isn't how I look at it... I keep thinking that if I am simply unable to retain the information at this point, I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail, then the class will have to be paid for again. If I drop right now, though, we get a refund on the class-maybe not a 100% refund, but a refund, and a "W" on my transcripts rather than an "F".

My therapist was talking about getting assessments for learning disabilities for me. That is another reason I went ahead and withdrew. If he comes up with something, then he can give that information to the college and they could possibly figure out a way to help me some. Right now, if I were to continue in this class, all I get from them is "well, it's college... I can't help much unless they tell me what needs to be done to help."

This has been a weighing issue for me, and I keep thinking about it because this class has been so frustrating so far. I realized how stressed out I am today when I went into English Comp and literally had absolutely no idea what we were doing in class, even after it was explained. It just wasn't registering.

So I figured logically, I drop while I can get a refund, receive a W, and give my therapist some time to do the assessment and figure out a way to help them help me, and for me to help myself.... and as an added bonus, I can use more time keeping up with the other classes rather than worrying about how I'm just not retaining the things he's teaching in History class.

But the kicker as to wondering if I should feel bad... this makes so much sense to me, but everybody else keeps on saying "I would just keep trying if I was you. It couldn't be THAT hard." My bf understands to an extent, and is being supportive, but my mother (who is the one paying for the class) seems rather disappointed about it, but will not admit that she is. The only reason I was able to pick up on that is because after I explained my dilemma to her, and told her why I was dropping the class and all, she had to get off of the phone really quick.

But maybe she isn't frustrated or disappointed, maybe she just doesn't get why it's so important to me to do well and actually understand what is going on in the class. Maybe she doesn't realize that I just literally am not taking it all in through a strictly lecture class with no discussion or assignments. The class grade is based off of 4 essay tests and that is it... I can't even get credit through attendance.

I just wonder... even though it makes sense to me, and seems quite logical to wait and see if I can get help in learning this stuff, and do it while I can get the refund... why do I feel like I am doing something wrong by doing what seems to make sense to me? I never thought other people could really influence me all that much, but this IS my mom, after all, lol, and I've always wanted to please her...

Sorry about rambling, I am just trying to sort things out for myself-thinking "out loud" (err... while typing, I should say), just so I can see it all laid out in front of me. I still do not see what is wrong with my decision as it seems to have the best outcome all around.

Hey, don't beat yourself up!

I went through this at UAF for a few years before I just gave up on school entirely.
This was before I got my diagnosis of ADD/HD the first time.

I would literally be on the verge of tears sitting in the classroom, knowing I had forgotten to do some assignment, and I was behind on my reading.
I'd get up partway through the lecture, hang my head and leave.
Most of the time I was too ashamed to go home, so I went to the computer lab and played the games people were downloading onto the computers.

I know it really bothered me to read a paragraph, stop and realize I had no idea what I just read, go back, read it again, forget again, on-and-on... until I just quit in frustration.

I definitely understood the material as I was reading it, so I felt really bad for not remembering it.

Actually, History was better for me because I could listen to the professor and retain things that I could not from reading.

Algebra was a pain. Even simple equations drove me crazy... not that I couldn't work them... I just had to know WHY they worked the way they did. My wife quit helping me with my homework because of this.

Anyway... back to you...
sorry


You seem to be doing the right things...
Getting some evaluations done so you can report them back to school, and
Not setting yourself up for a fall by continuing in a class that you just aren't 'getting it' in.

I think it is fine for you to want to get the grades you desire and not settle for less.
I think it is fine for you to want to learn the material and not just pass tests but not remember anything.

I have found, since going back to school, that talking directly with my professors has been a really good idea.
I explain my intentions for taking their class, explain my ADD/HD and how I am not using it as a crutch or reason to do poorly, and find out what they are willing to do to help me out in the class.

At my school, we have the DSS... Disabled Student Services.
Even with my ADD/HD diagnosis, they wanted to test me further because they needed a verifiable learning disability (still not sure what the heck they were going on about, I just went along with whatever they said to do).
After I passed their protocol, I was offered in-class note takers, the opportunity to take all my tests in a quiet room in the library, and other aids.
They also had tutors available, as well as their own building with computers, private rooms to work in, etc.

Hopefully you can find similar services at your school

Just don't get down on yourself. You have to realize that the system isn't set up for folks like us. We are expected to adapt and conform to their structure.
Just because we can't do this with the success we (and they) desire doesn't mean we aren't trying or shouldn't keep on trying.

Oh, just how many credits/classes are you taking this semester?
I only take two academic classes at a time and one phys.ed. class each semester. It's all I can handle with a part-time job and teenager to care for.

Lecture can be like that for some of us. A verbal missing link. I do much better from books, for I can recall them, even quote them. Lecture just does not stick.

You do not mention the period. Some history I get deeply into, but talk of the French Kings and I am lost. I just do not care. I am also a slow writer, and take twice as long as others, then want to re-write, at least a few times. It does not work well for timed essays.

I would say stick with your learning style. Classes known as and easy A might be hard for us, and in some tough ones, we get the only A.

Inventory your skills, what classes do you do well in? For me it was from the book. I am also a slow note taker, so that listen and learn method does not work. I cannot keep up on notes, or listen and write, and it all gets garbled. Math I could skip the class, attend but work from the book, and cover more ground.

As this sounds new, you should go with your best skills, and leave other types of learning for later.

As far as English Comp, I still have no idea what they were talking about, English Majors babble. They try to make it sound like art, when it is a five paragraph essay. I got through on the AP Style book, all mechanics. They still tried to complain, claim wrong punction, run on sentances, till I pulled out the AP Book, then they backed down.

This is the NT world, and you are from WP. You are not there to be converted or cured, but to be educated as the person you are. You should not feel bad about directing your own education. If at the end of school they would give you a job making $50,000 to start, they could say what, but they will just kick you out into the world where you will have to survive on your own.

Make Cs, you can become President, it takes As to make Grad School, it does not matter in what. School is to find out what you are good at.

Get the learning disability thing, more time, a quite place, a keyboard instead of a pen, and it is a much better world.

I think you are on the right track. Mom should know something about you by now. Just let her know you are doing your best, and sucess is avoiding failing.

I am taking 3 classes aside from History. 2 of them are heavy essay and reading based. I do okay in those classes, well, at least so far aside from being behind a little bit in reading.

My routine is like this (which is another reason probably to drop one class, lol):

Wake up at 8:00 with the kiddos.

Get the 6 year old off to the bus, take the 3 year old to daycare.

Between 9 and 12, I get myself dressed, clean up a bit around the house, try to catch up in classes, etc.

12:00 Mondays and Wednesdays I go to English Composition (lots of essays)
12:00 Tuesday and Thursday go to History class (well, I did, lol)

2:20 M & W, go to Ethics class (where we are currently reading Machiavelli-interesting read, slow comprehension time for me)
2:20 T & T, go to Developmental Algebra (the only class I am caught up in, lol)

4:00-head out of class to get the kiddos from daycare...

The rest of the evening is pretty much a shambles, except at 5:30 (no later, no earlier) every night we eat dinner. We are slow eaters, so it takes until about 6:30 for everybody to finish up, lol.

They go to bed between 8:00 and 9:00, then I try to catch up with the rest of my class stuff, and try to go over what I learned, if I can remember or recall it all... which is rare.

I do this until I pass out, then do it again.


Now, most would be wondering "why don't you do your classwork on the weekends?" Well, between Mon and Wed, obviously there isn't enough time to postpone it, and between Tues and Thurs, obviously not either. On weekends, though there is nothing else going on really, the scary thing is that the routine manages to stay the same. During the time we would be in school, we are getting other things done or visiting family. Which is nice, but it is difficult when even weekends seem crowded, lol.

Edit: It is U.S. History from 1877 to present. (just saw you asking about that)

Thank you both for responses. I feel a bit better-not 100% of course, but that will come with time. I guess I just needed some confirmation that I wasn't blowing it all by making this choice, even though I KNEW I could take the class again later.

I'm a single mom, so I wonder if that is weighing into the difficulty of learning as well. I don't get that free time to sit down and work on assignments until they go to bed, and that's it, lol. By then I'm reflecting on the whole day and have trouble remember what all I actually NEED to focus on, lol.

Ah well. I figure mom will be fine with it in time-she always is. She knows I have trouble and have never done well, but her and I... well, our personalities completely conflict, lol, on almost any issue. It always passes, but always bothers me at the time as well because I don't understand it really. Most bothersome is not really understanding why her responses effect me so incredibly much at times.

I do really well in math, oddly, even though I'm in developmental math. After 7 years out of school I needed a refresher I figure, so it's not all bad I guess. I do great in English providing I can freely think as I want on a topic. I have difficulty with things I have to remain one sided about, or things that I am forced to write about, but I can do it. It just takes me longer to wrap my mind around the whole project. I'm also more of an artsy type of person... more on the creative end, I suppose... though, you *could* say all subjects are creative depending on how you go about using them.

The most trouble I have, and it's so weird... are the classes that are all facts. Things I have heard a million times, things I have little interest in. I get the information, but cannot piece it together. Right now, I know there was a guy he talked about that sided with the KKK, a black guy that wanted them to move back to Africa... Now, I retained that because it is something I was not expecting to hear, but for the life of me, I cannot put a name on the guy. There was another that started a union of sorts, he was a good guy, lol. What I wind up with is a list of really bizarre things, or interesting things that I took from the lecture, but I can't connect them to their names. The other stuff is just hit or miss as to whether or not I remember it right, but mostly, they just wind up being put into categories in my mind: good guys or bad guys.

Machiavelli, I did like him. "He who thinks he can rule without sheading blood is a fool."

U.S. History from 1877 to now is a pack of lies. A continent was stolen from the Americans, and in fifty years some people were very rich, and the rest were in the streets in soup lines. Robber Barons bought the government, just like now. Machiavelli would understand.

The Mom thing is hard, and comes first. Start slow, soon you will be sending two to school, you might have more time. You are in no position to get tired, rundown, or disheartened. Slow and steady wins the race.

You have a really neat attitude!

I have to say that if I was a single parent with two young kids, my life would probably be more like a train-wreck than it already is!

I hope you are proud of yourself, or at least appreciate how well you seem to be coping with all the stresses and responsibilities in your life.

Okay, enough of the cheerleading

How many times have you been giving 'the ultimate' suggestion for ways to remember those facts?
I've been through the...
Just take notes,
Just make flash cards,
Just find someone to study with,
Just go through the book and highlight the important points


I really grew tired of having all those 'normal' folks give me all their suggestions on how to learn and make it through class... mainly because I had tried them all and those work for people with brains wired differently from mine.
It just made me more frustrated because "everyone else can do it! Why not ME!?"

As far as your mom goes...
Do you think that any results from your assessments will help her understand you better? Would you share those results with her?

Sounds like you two have created a semi-comfortable existence with each other.

I wish I knew something that could help.

Yeah, I vent to her about what is going on with me as far as diagnosis and such, and what assessments I will be given... she listens, but I'm not sure how much she actually cares, lol. I have also wondered (and so have others) whether or not she is on the spectrum as well. She doesn't understand why I don't love math or science (she is a biomedical engineer), and I have trouble figuring out why she wants help with some basic stuff sometimes. We have a mutual understanding that we don't get along when exposed to each other for long periods of time, but boy is it a hoot sometimes when we get together.

As far as this class so far, they are actually talking about Robber Barons at the moment. I couldn't tell you the people's names we mentioned... I could try to make them up right now, but they'd be way off, so I won't.

I suppose I do have a decent attitude about things considering. But it could always use improvement I will work on that later though-right now, my thing has been figuring myself out, not so much improving myself, lol. So that will become a project in itself I am sure that will manifest over time. That, and I'm starting to wonder if my attitude isn't poor simply because I don't really "get" everything that is going on, lol.

I like our Ethics teacher-he's very extreme. I'm so lost in the class, I must admit, but he is just so darned animated, lol.... and this is coming from the girl who rocks in class the whole time and is staring at the ceiling tile pattern the whole time every day. He doesn't use much as far as discussion to retain it, but he uses interesting examples and asks for us to raise our hands if we agree with certain topics. Currently he is amused because all of the people who whined about hating Plato-the Republic so much, are now disagreeing with Machiavelli's views. I just agree with everything he asks, lol, regardless if the views conflict, as I see all of the sides. This makes it difficult to stand firm about a point, and my logic breaks easy because there is always another side to things, lol.

Having kids is kind of rough in perspective with all of this stuff, but it is interesting as well. My 6 year old likes to hear about philosophy, and my boyfriend likes to talk about it, so I get in more learning discussing things with them. My 6 year old likes math, too, so he enjoys watching me mess with it, and my bf likes reading my essays (at least, I think he does, lol), so it helps as well.

...and yes, thank you for reminding me to not push myself with more than I can handle. Slow and steady DOES win the race I agree. I realize it will take me a bit longer, but I would rather pass all of my classes and know what I did to pass them (i.e. remembering what I learned), than sliding through every class.

And I just bet you're signing off right now because it's WAY late out there in MO. and you've got classes tomorrow!

I've got the day off, but I have my powerpoint presentation that was due last week, to finish and turn in this week, as well as another PPT assignment that is even longer, due this week, plus all the reading I'm behind.

At least I'm up on my P.E. class.... weight lifting

Goodnight!

lol, nah, I'll probably be up for another hour or so. It's 1 a.m. here, but I can never get to sleep until 2-3, which adds to it. Now that I've dropped history, I don't have to worry about that morning Tuesday class, lol, but I do still have to shuffle around a bit. Tomorrow is my son's autism assessment at the Center for Autism here I was amazed when I first found out there was anything like this in THIS area, lol. He has to be there at 10:00, but we're leaving at 9:00. It should only be a half hour drive, but I'm giving an extra half hour for getting lost, lol... I wish they gave visual directions instead of verbal directions to getting there. When I describe something, I'm like "You're going to pass about 4 stores (then list what stores they are), and you'll come up to a street sign that is really rusty on your right... it says ____-turn there." lol. This one is just like "aim this direction and cross your fingers that there is no construction going on, because then our directions would be wrong".

Currently I have to write an essay on Plato-the Republic, argumentative on any current event pretty much (this is HARD to figure out what to do for this, lol), and about 6 chapters worth of math homework, lol.

HOLY MACKEREL!

You're way up there by St. Louis! That's big city stuff there! (I just had to look it up on a map so I know about where you are).

The biggest city in Missouri I have ever been to was Springfield!
That city is big enough.
Even Branson has gotten so big I don't like to drive through the new sections anymore.

Well, I hope you find the place alright.

Is this for the 6yo?

Does he understand what's going on and why?
Our daughter was around 10yo when we had the same lady who diagnosed me with ADD/HD, check her out too.
My daughter told me she, "didn't want to be different", when we first told her we wanted her to go take the same tests I did.
Eventually we were able to get her to go willingly.
It's not like we really needed the diagnosis at the time, we just thought it might be useful to know why she was the was she was/is.

Have a good day tomorrow I hope!

lol, mine approached me initially and stated very bluntly, "My brain works differently than other kids' brains. It isn't broken, I like the way it works, but there is just something different about it..."

He knows why he is going, and the only comment he made really was "can the doctor give me some medicine so foods won't taste so sour to me?" lol! He's very interested in going, but is nervous since I won't be in the same room as him. I'm nervous he won't act like himself because of it, lol. But he knows what to expect, and is fine with going. He's also curious as to whether or not he will be allowed to move to a new classroom after this (due to the bullying, he doesn't mind the idea of that change-which is odd for him, lol).

The center is IN St. Louis, so that makes me nervous as I do not go there that often. Way too many cars and too many people in a hurry all of the time. I'd hate to see myself in a faster paced city than St. Louis, lol. It will be interesting to see how it goes-I will be able to watch through one of those mirrored window things That will be neat, I've never done that before. I know it isn't all that interesting, but while they are doing the assessment, I can pretend I'm looking at a police lineup or something, lol.

I'll also get to see what it is like, seeing as I am going there for a more professional opinion for myself at another time

...and it's nice because at centers like that, I probably will NEVER hear "there isn't anything we can do for any of you." Because they know how to go about getting things done. They managed to get my $350 assessment cost dropped to $32.50, and referred me to other people if I needed help with that as well. I was able to come up with that, but it was nice that more help was offered anyway.

Yes, Springfield is HUGE, IMO. I lived there for a while (over 2 years), and only knew how to get to the Wal-mart which is right as you enter (maybe leave) town. I remember there being like, 7 Wal-marts in Springfield, lots of housing authorities, loads of support groups for various things, a McDonald's on every friggin street, lol. Now that I'm here, the biggest thing I've noticed that is odd about St. Charles is there is never ending construction going on! ...that and there are absolutely NO Wal-mart Supercenters!

It's ok to drop a class if you truly believe you need to--- i had to drop one class in college 2 times! I finally got a teacher who could explain it in a way that clicked in my head and the 3rd time was indeed the charm.
True, if you have no clue and are failing the early stuff in this class, it'll be that much harder to catch up later. And "F"'s are hard on a GPA. But maybe if you are only doing so-so, you might be able to get a tutor or something to help some. Only you can decide.

You know what I dropped out of History as well but I was 12 years old in Year 8 at school but it was to do more Social skills class and I also found out all the people in the unit I was in were going on school trips which meant I was left behind to do History looking back now and that was 9 years ago I regret it I wished I did do History. But sometimes you just have to do what is right if I was in a situation where I would have to withdraw from something I will do it.

wow, this shouldnt be that tough of a decision, but what interests me is that if your not getting it now, will you ever get the class? i mean does the teacher just suck or do you just need some extra help? if you havent bombed anything just yet, and still statistically have a good chance to pass stick it out and dont waste your money or time, youlle feel glad that you got it over with later.

edit: so you did drop it? you should feel bad that you lost some money and now have to retake the class later, but alot of people drop classes for even worse reasons, like just not waking up in the morning, too many tardies, getting wasted the day of the final, dont sweat it.

don't tell sopho.......

but i find history classes incredibly boring....

i had to color-code dates/documents/people/places/names of skirmishes/important facts all with different highligher markers....

just so i could remember things and make it interesting...

my history book looked like the easter bunny puked all over it