Online relationships

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I found WrongPlanet in a sort of drunkard's walk across the internet while considering the relevance of the socially awkward aspects of autism to the internet communities.
I look at Myspace and it hurts me, Facebook makes me feel ill.
I've never used e-mail much, I just don't have any desire to communicate like that.
It confuses me, because I've always been a computer geek with a strong affinity for the electronic and now suddenly the internet appears to have been invaded by exactly the sort of social interactions which make me most uncomfortable in the physical world.
Do any of you use the online social networking communities? How do they apply to us?
I wonder a lot about which of the deficient aspects of my mind are congenital and which are learned behaviours resulting from the interactions between myself and the rest of the species.

I am the most incredibly social butterfly, online....

Ask me if I answer my phone, go on!

Ask me if I avoid the door when it rings!

Ask me how often I keep in touch with people "in the real world"!

The answer will be the same in each instance. I avoid social. I used to have people drag me out and don't get me wrong, I would enjoy myself and loosen up. It was always easiest with the people that are closest. I love going places and doing "things". I don't NEED everything to be just so, I adjust well (actually, I welcome) change. I have absolutely no problems enjoying my immediate family and doing stuff with my children....but absolutely "do social" on my own terms.

That said, I feel more comfortable, confident, relaxed, interested, open, able to communicate, express my thoughts, etc online. I LOVE THE ONLINE SOCIAL communities.

And best of all, there is no pressure to contribute. There is no need to feel awkward in others presence. There is no demand for eye contact. I can post information, write notes about where we have been, post photo's, etc without ever really having to do the rounds that are expected otherwise. There is absolutely no pressure to engage. To be totally honest the lack of tone makes it so that what is said is left to individual readers to interpret, but that also means that I am no more or less socially inept than the next guy (because there is ALWAYS room for misinterpretation online!! !!)

I am on facebook. I am on a number of other "special interest" forums. My partner and I have created online forums for students in Canada. Actually, I met my partner online (he lived in England...) and fully support meeting others online. I have always thought it to be a good way of finding people well suited for each other, as you would likely have a good starting point (like the special interest), rather than meeting somewhere like a bar etc. whether it be for friendship or relationship.

Anyhow, there you have it....

i have been noticet that im able to talk more in online......but ya i too avoid ringink doors it hurts my head

I have myspace and facebook because I don't think my friends would let me get away with not having them. I'm renowned for not ever picking up my phone, and facebook is that bit less painful! Also I like the 'graffiti wall' feature, and being able to remind everyone when I am next DJing.

If it weren't for the Internet, I'd never have any meaningful social relationships. It's just great not having to deal with social cues, eye contact, etc. unlike in person (shudder) or on the phone (which took me 25 of my 27 years to actually use correctly). Don't suppose one could use the fax machine to start a relationship?

yes, just like this..its more easy to communicate via net:D

I do much better talking with people on-line. It's easier to organize thoughts, and if you ask what somebody means, they usually don't mind responding and telling you, as in writing, everybody knows that points aren't always well-made, and intentions are often taken out of context. In person, people just kind of expect you to know, or you can see their frustration when you don't understand, etc.

I met my bf on-line (since then I have moved to the same town and we live w/in half hour of each other ), and a lot of people I would consider close friends I mainly communicate with on-line. It's just easier for everyone when dealing with me, lol.

I prefer meeting people online too before I meet them in public. Makes it a lot easier. That's how I met my boyfriends.

The 'Net is my #1 method of meeting people. However, if there is any organized group offline that centers around one of my special interests, I would try that as well.

I met my second girlfriend online. (I met my first one in high school).

Tim

The net is a double edged sword I think.
Yes, it provides the perfect playground for aspies as it avoids all the face to face issues...but it also allows us to evade actually facing up to these issues and making efforts to improve upon them and work on them. Hell, I have been addicted to the net ever since I got my first laptop, and it has in no way done me any favours.

I have made friends, sure...but in ways, if you have issues empathising and seeing another's point of view and issues visualising people, it makes it even more of a nightmare in terms of relationships. Even if aspies have issues with body language and social cues, facial expressions etc, there are certain major things we can pick up on that are totally skipped in the online environment, including tone of voice...and not all aspies are 100% deficient in eye and face reading anyway.

I find online, yes, I can sooo easily express emotion and thoughts that I tend to hold back in real life, but in turn I am finding my social skills at interracting with people day to day have totally deteriorated from lack of practice, lol.

Well since we are on the subject, I am looking for a possible local friendship or maybe more. I am in central FL, 32, white, green eyes, 5 foot 6. Spread the word around. Aspie looking for an Aspie. email me at [email protected]

Do you mean friendship as in male or female to hang out or do you mean friendship as in "let's get it on?"

It is. I know several people who have gotten into relationships, or marriages, online. As others have pointed out, even as aspie may have no problem flirting online, and backspace is a wonderful option to have available.

I've known even more people who developed mad crushes online, then been totally let down when they met the person face to face. Meeting people online is vastly easier, getting to know them is considerably easier. Figuring out whether there's enough chemistry for a relationship is much more difficult, so don't go into it with unrealistic expectations.

Kitzi, maybe both. Of course anything would start out as a friendship, but I'm also looking for a long term relationship too.

Sometimes, especially when I'm stressed, I can only communicate properly through text, preferably email when I'm very stressed (gives me more time to think of a response).

I have a facebook, mainly because most of the youth in my church have one and I can therefore be informed of the youth events there, as my church is 1500+ members and at least 30-40 active youth and young adults...

Don't have a myspace though...