DEPRESSED since I was diagnosed with Asperger's

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I have known for a long time that I am a quirky person, that I do not enjoy a lot of activities most people find enjoyable, that I feel ackward in social situations and that I am not good when it comes to face-to-face communication. But I thought there was hope that one day I would just "snap out of it" and that things would fall into place. If this change didn't happen on its own, I thought that maybe there was a pill out there that would somehow make it happen.

But now that I am convinced that I suffer from Asperger's syndrome, my outlook on life has changed quite drastically. At best, I feel hopeless and depressed; at worst, ...I don't even want to tell you how I feel at worst.

All I know is that now that I KNOW it's very likely that I'll never find a job appropriate for someone with my abilities, that I'll never fit in socially and that I'll continue being ridiculed and vilified, I have almost nothing to look forward to.

Who feels the same way and how do you cope with that feeling?

Last edited by Mw99 on 20 Sep 2007, 8:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I was at first relieved when I learned what Asperger's was. Then, when I thought about it some more, I got severely depressed. I went through a sort of mourning period, followed by sort of retro-actively reviewing my life up until now. It took me about two years to process what it meant to have AS, to interweave that with how I've alway perceived myself and the world out there, and finally, to re-group and press on.

So don't worry. It takes some getting used to, realizing that you are not weird or crazy, just wired differently!

Many people here can offer better advice than me, but I'll say what I have to say.
First off, you'll find there is a positive side to Asperger's. You have a truly unique perspective. Many social disadvantages can be remedied if you try. There are books on kinesics (body language) and books on social rules. As for finding a job suited to your abilities, what are your abilities? I guarantee there is a good carrier out there for you.
It was only very recently that I have come to recognize myself as a talented writer, a philosopher, a musician, and someone with a strong imagination. I spent most of my middle school days. feeling worthless and playing the same terrible games over and over again.
I know the feeling of hopelessness.
You'll get through it. We're all here to support you.

That's not the way my brain works.

I don't "get used" to stuff like this; I continue living in pain in spite of all the possible rationalizations in the world.

Most aspies I'm personally acquainted with have been happy to get their diagnoses, since it didn't change anything about them, except to let them know that they weren't alone.

Like the poster said, you have to grieve the "you" that won't be, especially if you're attached to it, and to the goals that go with it.

You can still be successful in the NT world, if that's what you want. Once you know that you have Asperger's, you are empowered to deal with it. There are social skills to learn, sensory issues to regulate, routines to put in place.

Please don't give up.

That's exactly how I felt. I actually felt liberated. All my life I truly believed I was the only human being in this world who felt this way, like I was fundamentally scarred or some sort of fluke accident. Discovering what and why has tremendously improved my outlook on life.

This is the way *I* was! I, slowly but surely, kept resigning myself to NOT doing some things. AS just means no trying to change things. The way I see it, there are four groups of workers. They are, in order of average pay, lowest to highest....

1. Labor (NT)
2. IP work (AS)
3. Inventor(AS)
4. Social(NT)

Hey. it could be worse. And I hate the social problems but HEY, even NTs aren't 100% happy. Oh well...

learning about AS gave me this site and all it's poeple to talk to.... life was really bad alone in the crowd....

you know this prayer ? :
God, give me courage to do what I can, humility to admit what I can't, and wisdom to know the difference.

learning about AS gave me all three in once. Now i can work on non-AS related things, i can stop loosing my time trying to fix AS realted things and find paliatives, and there are plenty of books and sites to sort it all out... for me it was the light at then end of the tunnel, not the end of the tunnel yet, but the light....

I have a diagnosis for another disorder. It's a significant weakness but I have made a lot out of my life. I think about this disorder on a daily basis because two of my daughters also have it. Sure, it would be great to be innocent and happy all day long....like my dog. But, then you wouldn't have the complexity and the deep and rich rewards that the "blue" side offers. Music for one, very little good music is happy music. The best music has longing and even a sense of pain in it.

BULSHIT!

True getting good work is a bit more dificult but it can be done ask (Bill Gates often cited as having AS I don't know the truth) but I know I have a satisfiing job it can be done.

As for the social problems, they can be overcome it takes time and it becomes a lot easer as you get older adults are not as spitefull as children.

I felt the same, all within the last year. I was very depressed and kept remembering stuff from the past that I'd forgotten, but now seemed to make sense. I also felt hopeless, and angry at my parents and other people.
But it passed. After I came to terms with it, I felt like my life made a lot more sense, and for the first time I understood myself. Right now I'm happier than I've ever been, and things are looking up. Accepting yourself is the start to a better life; once you know who you are, you can go anywhere. Also, I don't compare myself to NT's anymore, that helps too!

I'm confused

The title to your post says 'Depressed since I was diagnosed with Aspergers' but your profile and your post suggest you have not been diagnosed; I don't understand!

I was wondering the same.

I was diagnoised with AS again by my counselor (sp). I had her convinced I didn't have it because I thought I had either PDD-NOS or maybe HFA but I was thinking PDD-NOS. But she talked to my mother on the phone to learn more about me and I came back to see her this Tuesday and she told me what my diagnoses is. I felt real happy but I still have lot of questions I want answers to like How come I don't have PDD-NOS, How does she know what parts are separated from my condition because of my hearing loss and what isn't. Sometime I still feel I don't have AS because of what I remember in my childhood. I did fine with the holidays in my house growing up and I loved surprises like coming home from school and my parents took my brothers and I too a carnival in Portland for the sinco dey Mayo festival, I loved field trips, and field Day at my school and the culture fair, being given stuff, and I loved the new addition that was added to our house when I was 7 but I remember I hated the construction because it was a mess. I also didn't mind going on vacations and I played with other kids my age till it started to get hard when I reached 4th grade so I went after younger peers. I always loved people showing up at our doorstep because I loved answering the door and I love it even more when it be one of my friend's or my brother's friends because I enjoyed watching them play videogames and enjoyed playing with them even though a couple of them were mean to me. But everybody with AS is different. That's why it's called a spectrum disorder. We're not all the same.

And how do I go about learning social skills, routines, sensory issues, etc?

Should I just keep observing normal people and try to be like them?

Or is there actually some type of "therapy" for this?