What if I'm just a LOSER and not an aspie?

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I was always a good student and was well-behaved. I was always shy and inarticulate. I was smart but not gifted or a genius. I never heard of ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, depression, OCD or social anxiety until I was in college.

The truth is that I've become increasingly more pathetic since high school, where I was teased and made fun of by other kids. As a result of all the emotional abuse I went through in high school, my self-esteem plummeted; I became extremely aloof but also insecure. I found solace in knowing that at least I was more intelligent than most of my peers, and as time went on, I might have even subconsciously tried to adopt an "eccentric genius" image that would serve me as some type of defense mechanism that I could somehow use against all the adversity that I faced.

I became more and more "Aspergian" as time went on.

The fact of the matter is that I identify with a lot of the symptoms exhibited by people who suffer from Asperger's syndrome, and I know that some of you have identified with almost all the problems I have talked about on this message board, at least up until now, but what if I don't have Asperger's Syndrome after all?

What if my problem is something else? What if I am just a loser with extremely poor social and communicational skills? In my view, that's understandable, given my remote nature through high school and college. At a conscious level, I never felt that social skills and good communication were worth the effort, or maybe I just had a weak ego and for that reason never had the courage to go through the painful process of improving areas of my life I sucked at and still suck at. Depression? When you go through high school and college the way I did, it's not surprising that you'd end up depressed. OCD? ADD? I might as well suffer from those problems, but that's not enough evidence to conclude that I suffer from Asperger's syndrome.

I'm not trying to sound heretic or delusional, but I just can't stop thinking that maybe I put this "aspie" label on me because my ego doesn't want me to acknowledge that I am just a loser who is now paying the price for all the bad choices he has made.

Who can identify?

Last edited by Mw99 on 25 Sep 2007, 10:05 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Best way to find out? Try NOT acting like a loser, and if you f**k that up, you probably are an aspie.

Go and see an ASD specialist and see what they think. They might tell you that you have aspergers, or that you don't.
Just be yourself around others and see how they react also. If you hide your true self then you will never know for sure if you have AS or not.

Perhaps your low self-esteem is teetering too close to self-hatred, such that you are afraid that you don't "deserve" to have a legitimate reason for your difficulties.


That's a head game borne from frustration, I suppose. How strange that we don't have enough self-confidence to believe that we are [airquotes]disabled[/airquotes]


(Or perhaps I am projecting/identifying a little too closely .... )

Last edited by Noa on 25 Sep 2007, 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Occam's Razor (this is easy): Find a neuro/psych professional and ask for your Dx via evaluation.

QED

ladyMacBeth: LOL

Mw99: i'm asking myself that question very often. And when i doubt, it hink about the things that are not related to social interrection and could not have been created by other's behavior towards me nor by myself as a defense mechanism like: stimming, specific interests, sensory overload, CAPD, prosopagnosia, attention to details, unable to filter out unreleveant events in your surroundings etc.... do you have any/some/many of those ?

can't you be both an Aspie and a loser paying the price for all bad (and good) choices you have made?

after all, even Aspies are subject to the laws of karma.

I know what you mean. I've only just begun learning about Asperger's, and although a lot of the symptoms seem to fit me, I want to make sure I'm looking into AS for the right reasons.

One of the questions I'm asking myself is what a diagnosis would do for me. I KNOW I have AS tendencies, and maybe it's enough to know that I am a little different to feel comfortable with myself. Then, if anybody ever accuses me of being weird, I can tell them I think I have AS tendencies. They can take it or leave it.

Even if you have AS, it's basically just a way of being, right? And if you don't have AS but are not very social, it's still just a way of being, right? What makes one more acceptable than the other?

I don't know. I'm still thinking all this over myself. All I can say is good luck in your search!

Im both a loser and an aspie, nice to meet you. lol

For all I know, I don't suffer from Asperger's syndrome; I suffer from Munchausen syndrome

Last edited by Mw99 on 25 Sep 2007, 10:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That is funny

I was having a hard time reading your post and 'wrapping my head around' the idea that you identified several known variations of the human mind... OCD, ADD, AS... and then you wonder if you might not be one of these but something you call a 'Loser'?

I just want to be clear on what this term 'loser' is.
You make it sound like it's someone who knows they can do all the things you claim you can't, yet they choose to not do them or choose to behave in a manner consistent with things like AS, ADD, etc., which places you in a position of extreme discomfort and emotional pain. Do you really think you are choosing this path because it beats all the work you would have to do socially as a 'normal' person?

I've always seen the term 'loser' as a meaningless verbal attack on someone different (for whatever reason) because the attacker lacked real self-esteem.

If I were you... I'd beat yourself up for calling yourself a loser. That would teach you not to put you down like that!

Okay, I'll admit that was quite a bit funnier in my mind than typed out, but I left it because I hate to edit before I push the submit button at least once

Seriously, I think you should drop the term 'Loser' from your vocabulary.
It means nothing, yet everything it is supposed to mean is quite often wrong.

You seem to be communicating here well enough for us to understand you.
I know this is different from face-to-face, but you seem articulate enough on screen.

Some people wish for a label only to be disappointed when it comes, because it comes loaded with lots of other issues.
Some people wish for a label and find great relief when it comes.
Some people are just fine knowing they can relate, say, to people here on WP, and that helps them cope with how they are.

You can either go get checked out by a professional, or just self-diagnose... or both (nothing like having two opinions ).
Either way, if being here feels comfortable and you find information that makes sense for you and works to make your life better... drop the worry about being a 'loser'.

Just spend your time here reading and posting but not judging yourself. I think we can all respect that!

Munchausen syndrome is trying to get attention for yourself through something like this. ARE YOU? I, for example, only told a couple people. Frankly, I DON'T want the attention.

Anyway, You're the only one that can say REALLY. A psychiatrist would be good to verify you fit, but it is best if you verify it isn't an act.

Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 26 Sep 2007, 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can identify, although I don't have attentive difficulties.

The student psychologist did a 15-hour (over a couple weeks) evaluation and suggested my social difficulties stem from me being smarter than a lot of people.

And also I'm not autistic because I don't line things up in a row (I can't make this s**t up).

Although I've got to say, AS got bumped down to number two last week of s**t that's jacked up in my head.

"Munchausen Syndrome" is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected feign illnesses they don't have in an effort to get empathy and attention. That's different from hypochondria, becauce hypochondriacs actually believe they have illnesses they don't really have, whereas people who suffer from Munchausen Syndrome are fully aware that they don't have the illnesses they claim to have. In my case, I have been telling to myself that I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, but at the same time I wonder whether I am just putting this label on myself in an effort to get sympathy from those who would otherwise have called me a loser and who knows what else.

Last edited by Mw99 on 25 Sep 2007, 10:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You can try to find out from family member how you acted as a young child. If you acted "normal'' or preferred to play by yourself, had intense interests, stimmed, did not like changes in routine, had trouble making friends, had melt-downs, liked to line your toys up, had an odd way of speaking or walking.
It doesn't make a difference if you are dx'd as there is no cure. But it is good to know for yourself.

The syndrome you mention above also is responsible for things like mom's who smother their little infants in bed or add things to poison their kids so people will feel sorry for the mom 'losing' her child(ren).
My wife experienced dealing with a mom like this once... scary...

Who do you think is going to give you sympathy for saying you think you have AS?
Are these people who know what AS is?
I have a hard enough time getting folks to understand what ADD/HD is!
What benefit are you imagining comes to you if people give you sympathy for this?

I'm being serious in my asking these questions. I just wonder if you've thought about it all that much?
You seem to fixate quite easily on being a fake, phony, loser.
Dig a little deeper why don't you... it's good for the soul!