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atty61
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22 Sep 2007, 4:07 am

I hate this depression. Was chatting to somebody online an hour ago and just burst into tears because I couldn't think of anything to say - again.
I don't seem able to come to terms with this AS. I hate self-pity, yet I seem to just wallow in it. Haven't slept well for weeks. Oh well. I'm sure it will pass.



samtoo
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22 Sep 2007, 5:25 am

atty61 wrote:
I hate this depression. Was chatting to somebody online an hour ago and just burst into tears because I couldn't think of anything to say - again.
I don't seem able to come to terms with this AS. I hate self-pity, yet I seem to just wallow in it. Haven't slept well for weeks. Oh well. I'm sure it will pass.


Wouldn't exactly call you pathetic dude.
I'm sure if Neurotypes had the same problems they'd be just as distraught - simple fact is that, unfortunately, they don't and they don't know what aspergers feels like.

Please don't feel like you're small in this world dude...
It's hellishly tough sometimes.
atm I can't think of any advice particularly but hang on in there bud.


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chocstar
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22 Sep 2007, 5:49 am

Don let AS get u down. we've all gone thru this stage several times our life. we go thru cycles of this s**t ova and ova. i consider AS as sumthin dat makes me unique and is a blessing in disguise



edal
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22 Sep 2007, 7:49 am

I read quite a few posts on WP where I can't think of something to say, so I just move on and read another post. When you're online and using a chat program things are a little different but not too much. If someone says something and you can't think of anything to say back then just type:

'I can't think of anything to say about that'

You then sit back and wait for the other person to reply. If they're friendly or reasonable then you will get some sort of comment and your conversation can then move on.

As for depression, it's normally caused by a sense of loss. What can we do to help?

Ed Almos



9CatMom
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22 Sep 2007, 9:15 am

Insomnia and being at a loss for words occasionally are common problems for me too.



faithfilly
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22 Sep 2007, 9:16 am

atty61 wrote:
I don't seem able to come to terms with this AS. I hate self-pity, yet I seem to just wallow in it. Haven't slept well for weeks. Oh well. I'm sure it will pass.


Most likely wallowing is the same thing as feeding self-pity and, if that's the case, how can it pass? Not getting enough sleep is a huge trap to keep one in the pits.


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RB
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22 Sep 2007, 9:23 am

How long have you known you have Aspergers? I would have up until recently just thought I had nothing to talk to them about and moved on, though now I'm questioning the possibility that I have AS. The danger of it is it could really make you feel inadequate in situations that you used to just take as boredom or a lack of something to say, and now cause moments of depression. The actual situation hasn't changed, just how you interpret it.



atty61
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22 Sep 2007, 3:58 pm

RB wrote:
How long have you known you have Aspergers? I would have up until recently just thought I had nothing to talk to them about and moved on, though now I'm questioning the possibility that I have AS. The danger of it is it could really make you feel inadequate in situations that you used to just take as boredom or a lack of something to say, and now cause moments of depression. The actual situation hasn't changed, just how you interpret it.


I only found out a couple of months ago. I have felt totally inadequate and have suffered from awful depression since early childhood though, so that's not a new feeling. I think by continually trying to do something I know I can't do is just yet another way I have found to punish myself.

Thanks everybody who has replied to this topic. I know I'm not alone in these feelings. As soon as I pressed "Submit" I regretted posting it, but it's out there now. I'm finding that 'self-hatred' is a hard habit to break.



faithfilly
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23 Sep 2007, 9:44 am

If you have a form of depression that fits the description of dysthymia, then maybe you'll find relief from taking 5 Hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP).

It's an amino acid suppliment that's available at health food stores. I'm surprised that it's not more well known, but popularity isn't always cracked up to be what people think.

If you'd like to seriously give 5-htp a try and you feel a bit nervous over guessing what dosage level to begin with, find someone who practices Applied Kinesiology. I don't hold a lot of faith in AK practitioners, but since one backed up my suspicions as to how much my body was lacking in its ability to produce the hormone serotonin (after doing a lot of my own research), I set out to put this newfound information to the test. The result for me? I love it! The only side effects I have from having started this a couple of months ago is a greatly improved sleep quality (without any groggy side effects) and a more consistent pleasant mood.

My insomnia was chronic and progressively getting worse (especially so entering into menopause). I tried everything else, but oddly I sensed that 5-htp is something quite unlike anything else. I don't plan on taking it indefinitely. It's purpose for me is to put me on a healthier lifestyle track that I've been unable to grasp in the past. Putting insomnia behind will enable me to exercise regularly and improve my motivation to eat a more balanced diet. I don't say "balanced diet" lightly. Everyone should be eating real food(i.e., food that is organic and fresh); and divorce food that has been processed and/or altered.


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"Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." – Isaiah 66:2