Your child has Aspergers if...

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Your child has Asperger's if...

1. You're shocked when you find out that your child's spontaneous language is actually a collection of lines from ads, movies and commercials. Then you marvel how he can actually do this and make sense!

2. Your child is fascinated that your skin can actually crawl and he lightly touches your bare arm to witness this incredible event.

3. You ask your son if he's ready to go to the Park and he doesn't answer right away because he's thinking about the last time he was in the park when he saw a toy car, which reminds him of the Toy Store, which reminds him that the Toy Store also sells dinosaur figures, which reminds him of a museum he went to 6 years ago, which reminds him......

4. Your child thinks there's nothing more fun than reading about the mechanics of a fan, unless of course he's explaining it to someone.

5. He simply does not see the point in making a car race down a ramp when you can turn it upside down and watch the wheels spin in unison.

6. He finds the word "ripple" hilarious, "dabble" bothers his ears and he firmly believes the word "tip-top" should be "top-tip"

7. You're late and you ask your child to please hurry and find his shoes. He finds them but doesn't put them on because you forgot to mention that part.

8. You ask your child which book he borrowed from the school library this week. He replies and then proceeds to tell you the name of every book and its author that he's borrowed from the library the entire year - in the order he borrowed them!

9. You know facts about things like the Homo erectus species who lived in bamboo forests with huge primates called Gigantopithecus and that the very first Europeans were called called Homo heidelbergensis.

10. Not only do you know these things but your child makes sure you never forget by explaining this era to you in detail, every moment he can.

11. His uncle explains that it was just a figure of speech when he said "My head is about to explode" and your child is devastated because he wanted to see what that would look like.

12. You'll never be silly enough to ask your child if you look fat because you know you'll get the truth.

13. You assume your six year old is mumbling to himself but on closer listening, you realize that he is actually reciting the Gettysburg Address.

14. You have no idea how your 6 year old even knows about the Gettysburg Address and where he could have possibly learned it.

15. Your child appears deep in thought when for no apparent reason, he suddenly bursts into laughter. He looks around surprised that no one else found his thought funny.


I got this off a website, thought it was cute, and thought I would share it with everybody..

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

that was funny - thanks for sharing!

18. Your child's first word (at 27 months) was "computer", followed by the complete technical specification for the den computer. For extra points, throw in the values on the DXDIAG...

18a. Your child hacked your computer at the age of 4 and edited the registry to change the functionality of the "scroll lock" key to shut down the computer.

19. The first song your child learns to sing is the Jeopardy! theme.

20. Your child thinks that reading the Wikipedia entries for TV shows is more interesting than the TV shows themselves.

That was the best Aspie-related humor I have ever read!

21. Your child may have Aspergers if the child stands around doing nothing during "social time."

22. Your child may have Aspergers if the child talks & talks about very random stuff.

your child doesn't understand why other kids play together because it is more fun to play by yourself.

23. You pick out an outfit for your three year old and tell her to get dressed, but first she has to tell you every time she ever wore that outfit, what shoes she wore with it, what season it was, what she did and where she went.

24. Your kid hated recess time at school because it was unstructured so he or she didn't know what to do.

25. Rain is loud and scary.

26. Child safety locks are useless, your child figured them out before you had them out of the package.

27. If you've forgotten your lisence plate number, you need only ask your four year old aspie to get the answer.

28. Your child covers her ears or rocks when you run tap water because it's too loud.

29. Your child runs about the lunchroom figuring out where to sit and eat.

30. After giving your 6-year old child some action figures, he asks what the rules are for playing with them. When you don't have any, he begins to examine in detail how the joints work.

31. But you didn't cut the label off close enough to the seam.
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29a. Your child eventually decides to either sit on his own, or with the teachers and not the other children.

32. Your child grows up to become emo to the max!

Tags never bothered me... the only thing that did bother me was hair longer than 1". I would keep on getting full buzz cuts whenever I went in for a haircut because my hair bothered me that much...

Cute.

Hmm, let me think of a few..

You know your child is an aspie if you buy him a PS3, and he has more fun reading the instruction manual than actually playing with the console

If you wouldn't let him near a chemistry lab for a million dollars

If your 12 year old has all but disposed of any need for a home reapairman.