some things that have been bothering me...

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jman
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28 Jul 2005, 8:23 pm

stlf wrote:
I'm a little disappointed in the direction that this thread has gone in. If anyone else has followed PrincessChristina's posts they will know that she origionally came here because her dad thought she might have AS and she wanted to research it some. She subsequently was evaluated by a psychologist who told her that she does not have AS, and instead diagnoses ADD amd dyslexia. I think that she felt comfortable here and that this thread was an effort to remain a part of this community. I belive that her intentions were good, and that she did indeed "want to help aspies" however, misguided some of her ideas for doing so were. If instead of showing the angry bitter sides of ourselves, we had given her guidance on how to "help" we may have been able to take a step towards educating NT's as to who we are...and we may have been able to give her some assistance with things like social skills. Keep in mind also that PrincessChristina is a 13 year old girl it is not fair to expect her to be an expert in AS. I for one find her interest in getting to know us and interest in "helping" to be admirable, and something not often found amoungst the young teen population.

We can not comdemn NT's for their heartlessness and exclusionary practices and then flat out abuse an NT who makes an effort to connect with us. I for one hope that PrincessChristina has not returned to read many of the things that have been posted in this thread, as I am sure we have greatly hurt her if she has. I think we all should feel a little bit ashamed of this. thread..it is certainly not our greatest moment...and does not portray an image of aspies that I am proud of.




I am in complete agreement with STLF. I am so sick of this whole NT vs autistics thing. Acceptance has to work both ways. If you really think about it NTs really don't treat us as bad as some people are making it out to people Worse things can be done to people. It's just that sometimes that the bad things in life are more noticable than the good things. Many of you are very intelligent, and have alot to offer the world.

Another thing I don't like is the label "neurotypical" itself. To me it implies that non affected people are better than us because their brains are Neurologically typical. It'sa very self defeating term. It's also used (condescendingly)by some of the more emotionally immature people who are unable to deal with and accept people with AS. The people that mistreated ua all are just those things, emotionally immature and ignorant.They probably aren't going get very far in life and.or their life will suck. You shouldn't take it to heart. We are all human we shouldn't segregrate ourselves according to labels. We should all learn to co exist and live in peace.


Another thing I find disturbing is certain members ( im not mentioning names) like to "diagnosis" people. This needs to stop. It doesn't matter whether they are "PDD NOS" or "autistic disorder" "aspegers disorder" we are all on the spectrum and thats all that counts. Plus you're all not a qualified clinicians, if you no grounds drawing such as conclusions on vague and concrete criteria. Most of you have never even met these people outisde of the forum.How can you come upwith those types of labels without meeting them in person?

/me sighs

rant over



ilikedragons
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28 Jul 2005, 9:37 pm

I said I was sorry.



jman
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28 Jul 2005, 10:11 pm

ilikedragons I wasn't talking to you specifiically I was addressing the board in general.



hale_bopp
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28 Jul 2005, 11:53 pm

Why did you make a thread out of this? There already is one. :x

Quote:
Another thing I don't like is the label "neurotypical" itself. To me it implies that non affected people are better than us because their brains are Neurologically typical. It'sa very self defeating term.


No it doesn't, and no it isn't. "Typical" does not mean "Superior".



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29 Jul 2005, 12:15 am

I hadn't read the thread from her original post for about two days and OMFG. Maybe the name of this forum should be changed to NEGATIVITY PLANET.

Criticize me if you like for really agreeing with the total disgust of STLF and jman.


Christina, on the off-chance that you're still lurking on the forum, I would TRULY like to apologize.

Everyone spouting about not calling Aspergers a disorder and not using LABELS and we are using "NT" right and left and right!-- Um, THAT'S A LABEL TOO.

How many friendly and well-meaning nonAspies have we chased off this forum so far for similar behavior???

Yell at me if you like. I don't care. I'm saying my mind despite repercussions.


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Sophist
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29 Jul 2005, 12:18 am

Would also like to point out that ADHD (which is what Christina said she has) is not NeuroTypical. So if one insists on degrading labels, NT isn't even accurate.


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29 Jul 2005, 12:57 am

i heartily agree with jman and stlf. i haven't looked at the thread for a while, although, the last time i did, i did think it was doing the "AS vs NT" stuff, (hence my post about paranoia, as i can't remember any NT "attacks", myself).

i've said it before, and i'll (undoubtedly) say it again - the world is not out to get people with AS. most of it doesn't even KNOW about AS. people don't like what they don't feel safe with, or which doesn't quite go as predicted/expected, so us lot, with a different perspective on the world, and unpredictable behaviours, seem like a threat.

life's hard for everyone, folks. it's juts hard in a different way for us, okay?

princesschristina, if you're still around... as i said in my original post on your thread, it's great that you want to help. let's get the (productive) dialogue going again.

and can we PLEASE cut out all the AS vs NT nonsense, please? educate them, don't castigate them.



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29 Jul 2005, 1:30 am

In itself, Neurotypical is a completely neutral term. Some people choose to associate it with inuendo, either making it superior or inferior. I would also like to point out that NT is NOT the opposite of AS: a person with Down's Syndrome of Cerebral Palsy is no more an NT than we are.

As for labeling, there is a place for it. A place. It is not everything. The fact remains that the majority of us in here have ASD: that is why we are here, and that is why there is a line of fine print under 'WrongPlanet.net' that says 'The online resource and community for those with Asperger's Syndrome'. With that in mind, I think we all need to remember that these labels are just that: labels. They are helpful in defining certain aspects of ourselves, but do not replace the rest of us: they are not all encompassing. I also agree with stlf: there are a lot of people who suggested to Christina that the doctors might be wrong and she could be on the Spectrum after all. I think that is taking things a bit too far: she is 13 years old and does NOT need a bunch of people who have never met her filling her head with the 'what if's' about professionals. There is a chance, however big or small, that any one of us has been misdiagnosed. Most of us have in fact, along the way. But second guessing psychologists just doesn't help.

As far as I can tell, this community originated out of the need to have a place where information, support and understanding were available to people with ASD, as this support is harder to find among NT's, or in this case, those who don't have ASD. However, if an NT is willing to be supportive and seeks the same information that we seek, and if they are willing to respect our differences rather than try to cure us, hell, fling wide the gates, cos this is what we have been waiting for!

In summary: I don't think that labels have their place, but in moderation. And I think that where people have bitten the heads off unsuspecting NT's because of bad past experiences, steps need to be taken to work this though, and an appology would be nice. Just remember: when an abused dog barks at a perfectly nice person because they are holding a walking stick and the dog was beaten by a cane in the past, it is not the person's fault any more than it is the dog's fault. What matters is that the dog can be quietened and the person can realise why it happened so that, in time, the dog will learn to trust. Only dogs can't appologise and we can.


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vetivert
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29 Jul 2005, 1:32 am

PhoenixKitten wrote:
In summary: I don't think that labels have their place, but in moderation. And I think that where people have bitten the heads off unsuspecting NT's because of bad past experiences, steps need to be taken to work this though, and an appology would be nice. Just remember: when an abused dog barks at a perfectly nice person because they are holding a walking stick and the dog was beaten by a cane in the past, it is not the person's fault any more than it is the dog's fault. What matters is that the dog can be quietened and the person can realise why it happened so that, in time, the dog will learn to trust. Only dogs can't appologise and we can.


nice point, and nice example, phoenixkitten.



PhoenixKitten
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29 Jul 2005, 1:38 am

Ta! I would have said it earlier but I didn't want to get yelled at by anyone who MISreads an inuendo in my likening ASD with being an abused dog! :roll:


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computerwidow
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29 Jul 2005, 1:54 am

I wonder if the participants of this board are familiar with the concept of "trolling." I'm not going to go so far as to suggest that trolling may have happened here, but I think it's an issue to be considered when conflict seems to be escalating among people who have come here for mutual support. Let's not attack each other over an issue involving someone who is no longer participating.



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29 Jul 2005, 2:12 am

whether princesschristina is still participating or not, this is a general issue which, i believe, needs to be addressed, so it won't happen again.

and believe me - we are DEFINITELY aware of trolls... sigh. :roll:



hale_bopp
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29 Jul 2005, 5:58 am

Sorry to break the pity party, but I for one have been offended by some of the things this person has said - and not just in that thread.

I don't think she should have to leave here, but I would like to make that statment.



danlo
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29 Jul 2005, 7:10 am

Its not a pity party, its the give-her-a-break party. You're taking offense at a 13 year old girl? Really, a lot of the response posts were themselves offensive towards Christina; making out she was a bad person. You should take her words in the spirit they were made in, and gently let her know how you view your Aspergers. There was no need to yell and scream Offense because she expressed her wish to help.



berta
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29 Jul 2005, 8:30 am

How can she wish to help when there is no need for help and nothing to help?

And I thought she was 17... Plus she said in another post that she didnt want a "cure" so ehemm..

I am not gonna apologize for what I said either, because if she is aspie she offended her self too, and me and everyone else so...



nirrti_rachelle
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29 Jul 2005, 8:40 am

:my best NYPD inpersonation: Alright, alright everyone! Break it up, nothing to see here!

Come on, people. A bunch of arguing about who offended who and harping on some little 13 year-old girl, not even out of childhood yet, is a waste of time. I haven't read her posts yet but whatever she said, I'm sure her intentions, and that is what's most important here, intentions, weren't to belittle anyone who wasn't "NT" or whatever heck label you want to use.

From what you're saying, she requested advice on how to help those with AS. Am I mistaken or is this what this website is for? Is it our responsibility to educate others and help them understand who we are, eh? That's what she was doing and now, she's being castigated for it. Boy that makes us look really good, does it? Picking on a child who is not even expected to have the maturity to ask such a question for making an effort to understand AS, something most adults don't bother to do.

We've got to quit holding the mistakes of a few over every non-AS person, y'all, or we aren't any better than those folks who maligned us for not being like everyone else.


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