Pet illness and death

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Yesterday one of my pet rats died having been ill since Sunday. Thing is, I've been sobbing my eyes out every evening this week, and all through his little burial ceremony last night - but I'm 42, not 4! If I'm that bad over a rat, I dread to think how I will (won't) cope when my dog's time comes.

I'm just wondering if any other adult Aspies suffer such a severe emotional reaction to the death of a pet when we all, logically, know damn well that we will out live our pets - especially rodents with such short natural lifespans.

Last edited by whitbywoof on 28 Sep 2007, 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't claim to be aspie.
I am ADD/HD.

But I have had a couple of family pets pass away in the last couple of years.

It is hard. I think it is harder the more a person identifies with that pet and when that pet is a big part of an individual's sense of belonging and comfort.

You should be grateful to have feelings towards another living being... I think so anyway.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it.

I had to finish the original post and leave, but I wanted to add this now..

Sometimes I think a death like this can trigger memories of other events that were hard on a person's life.
I think if you found your mourning to be out of proportion to your attachment to the rat, then you should look at other possibilities of what might be at the root of your sadness.

I do hope it gets better for you though.

Last edited by wsmac on 28 Sep 2007, 1:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not quite an adult yet, but I have had an intense emotional experience over the death of a pet.

5 years ago, my cat Larry was hit by a car not far from my house. He was just lying there, and at first I didn't know it was him. But then I came back about 5 minutes later.

For the next few days, every time I thought of him, I cried because I had developed such a strong bond to him.

I have this other cat now, Camo (my avatar). I caught her on my porch one day stealing food out of the garbage can. She's about 7 now and I love her to death, likewise for her. When the day comes that she goes, I don't think I could handle it very well.

Having a pet die is just like having someone close to you die. It's very sad and very painful, something I hope doesn't happen to me for a while.

Be good to your pets, they may be the best friends you'll ever have. It is for me

The death of a pet is a very traumatic experience for me. I even get sad when their birthdays come around because that means that they're one year closer to leaving me. One of my dogs is almost 7 and my other dog is 2 and a half, and I can't imagine my life without my wonderful friends. I also get sad when I think about how it will affect my younger dog when my older dog dies.

But the joy that they bring me is worth the pain of losing them, and I will always have wonderful memories of them...just like I do about the other dogs that I've lost.

Short answer is yes.

To the point I wonder what the hell is wrong with me when a human dies and I don't come near the emotion when a pet does.

When I was a teenager, I had a gerbil. I was sad for about a day and then that was it.

When I lost my first cat, I felt sort of upset during his illness even though he was living with my mom and not with me anymore, but then a few days after he died, it didn't bother me anymore.

I found the sorrow of losing pets to be much less and much different from depression, when losing a pet, its just the sadness of a loss, but depression is anger turned inward.

YES. Ten years ago this January my cat died. I'd had her since I was 9 years old and I attached to her more than any human. My ex used to say, "I dread the day that cat dies." One day she just started hiding under the bed. She was old, around 11 years, and I figured it was age. Turned out it was kidney failure. The vet simply told me, "There's nothing we can do...I'm sorry."

I remember just collapsing to my knees on the floor, sobbing. She told me to come back to the clinic because my cat probably wouldn't last the night. I remember holding her there. I called my dad because he was always my rock, the non-dramatic type. He told me I should do the right thing and let them euthanize her, she was in terrible pain. He promised he would take her and bury her. The grief that spared me, I'm grateful to him to this day. Letting her go was the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life.

I've had several cats since, but I've formed basically no attachment to them at all. Losing her was so hard on me I think my brain just won't allow attachments to animals. I have a great cat now. She snuggles with me every night, she's awesome with my kids, best behaved cat I've ever had and super cute too. But she's just a cat.

I'm sorry to hear about your rat, whitybywoof. I do understand - as postpaleo said, to the point that I start to feel guilty because I feel the loss of an animal far more than I do that of most humans. My daughter keeps fish in a pond; she chose them all individually, they all have names, and she hand feeds them. One of them died recently, and my husband had to bury it for her - I couldn't see what I was doing for the tears.

I have had many pets that died. Rats, many fish, quite a few cats, one dog, mice, a seagull, a rabbit. Although it is difficult to get over, a year is sufficient for pets. It took me ten years each to get over the deaths of my mother, my father, one of my sons. Life goes on.

I name my fish too, and it's always upsetting when one dies.
I remember at around the age of three or four, my great grandmother died and I made myself cry because I knew that people were supposed to be upset when someone dies. When my grandfather died about 25 years ago, I just shrugged it off because he's been very ill and we all knew that he was dying. I haven't experienced a close human death since, so perhaps that is a contributing factor to my over-the-top reactions to the death of a pet.

So sorry to hear about you rat, whitbywoof. It is so upsetting when a pet dies, I don't think it makes any difference what kind of pet it is, they become like part of the family. I've lost a few cats over the years and I've always been terribly upset when they've died.

A belated welcome to WP btw.

Thanks for the welcome Starr. I love your avatar!

I'm not an adult...but I do get extremely emotional when one of my pets die. At the beginning of this year my rabbit passed away. It was in february and I still cry over it every night. Two weeks ago one of my fish died...I still cry over that.
I also dread the time when my dog passes away...I don't think I will literally survive.

I thought that too. Both my parents have died since as well as a close friend. Don't beat yourself up if it turns out the same for you. It's just who I am and it's ok. It doesn't mean I still don't think of them or miss them, it just isn't the same emotional pain for me. Just know that you aren't alone with these feelings.

I got really sad when my precious rabbit Jasmine died. She had been unwell for ages but I was still shocked when her death came. I quit my guitar lessons and cried for months.

whitbywoof, I've had a lot of pet losses (about 250 rats & hamsters among other pets, dogs, cats, horses, fish & a chinchilla) it never gets easier. I've stopped getting rats & moved to chinchillas as they live longer. With pets it's all about love, there are no mixed emotions as you have with human loved ones. To me loosing a pet is by far one of the hardest things I've gone through in life. I keep telling myself I'll be with them again.