Sometimes I feel...

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So bloody ret*d!

What's worse is...I think my family is starting to wonder what the hell possessed mom.

I can't think straight. I can't form proper sentences. My memory is so rubbish these days. I start sentences halfway through my thoughts and expect people to know what I am talking about, like anyone else knows what the hell I was thinking. If someone speaks to me, I only ever catch half of it because I am caught up in something and can't come down to earth for a few seconds and make others feel welcomed or cared for. I am stuck to this freakin' computer and can't get off. I am always making careless mistakes, dropping & spilling things, knocking things over and bumping into them. I am forever saying jaw dropping things and shocking the hell out of people. I have opted for isolation from all my social connections, apart from the internet and refuse to answer the phone (then go stir crazy). My home is disorganized and I have little desire to sort it, repeatedly, only to find more crap to pile high and here I sit at nearly 3am...struggling to make sense of it all, instead of grabbing the few NEEDED hours, so that I can help minimize this madness!

*sigh*

Just needed a good rant....thanks.

Apart from that you OK then.

yep...laughing all the way to the nut house with my white jacket on backwards

They're coming to take me away, ha ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho ho!
Ha ha, hee hee, ha ha, ho ho...
They're coming to take me awaaayyyyyy!! !

LOL, BlueMax

Somehow that song suits your avatar...

I relate to this but think you will feel better if you get some sleep.
Asparval, good reply made me smile.

Not to make light of your post, but sometimes some of the kids I work with will foul up, and they say something like, "God, I feel so ret*d." My tounge-in-cheek response, which I haven't actually said to any of them, is, "As a person with a developmental disability, should I take offense at that remark?"

which I considered when typing, but bit the bullet anyhow

ret*d
adj

Definition: intellectually limited


and very much me, at 3am, running on empty....

I think that I can relate to what you're saying. I get that way sometimes, too. It happens when I've given more of myself, and my time that I actually had to give. I tapped into my reserves, and now that's even dry. There's no choice at that point, but to take a reprieve. I don't have meltdowns as much as I have shutdowns. When that happens my mind is only half on, and jumbled all to hell. I just sit in front of the pc, and read. I don't even really do anything constructive, I just sit. Take a break for a few days, and only do what you have to. Enlist help if you can.

Sounds exactly like me most days right now.
Do you find you will be holding something, but as soon as you let your thoughts drift, you drop it?
I must have dropped about 4 things in a row yesterday doing this.
And how often have you been off in your own thoughts while out, and almost walked into someone or something?
In fact, I did walk into a man once, and had a checkout worker spitting her drink out in fits of laughter because she said if looks could kill, he would be dead.

I've felt like that a lot of the time, but remember, there'll be good days and bad (sometimes good weeks, months, years and bad).

My life is getting better and better though. Every year after thirty has made ny life so much more bearable. Hopefully your good stuff will kick in soon and you can ride that awesome wave of things suddenly slotting together and making sense right up into your years as a grey haired granny knitting socks for the grand kids!

Um, focus on the good stuff I just said, don't stress about the whole getting old thing.

Maybe you need a change in meds? I'm upping my dose of effexor because I just developed OCD. It's really weird watching myself keep repeating behaviour that is fun but at this point deletrious and non-rational. I pride myself on being rational, but I can't quit and am distressing best beloved(spending money he doesn't have), so yesterday I went to psychiatrist early (I usually go in every six months and say all is fine, please continue my prescriptions)and had my med upped.
Or maybe you don't need a change. I feel for you and hope you can get some rest.

funny guy...

ret*d just means slower...not just an intelligence thing.
am take a medication called 'tegretol ret*d', it's their name for the slow release version.
they have things like 'fire retardant' to to slow down fires.

thanks for that