My thoughts on bullies...

Post Reply New Topic

Bullies are the low-life of the NT world. They're pitiful, cowardly, ignorant and positively the most idiotic creatures to infest the world. They hunt in packs, find safety in numbers, and pick on you when you're alone.

Did I say they're pitiful?

I really don't know what to do anymore. "Ignore them", I've been repeatably told, and I do. The thing is, they don't ignore me!

Sorry for the rant.

As they say in the US, you are "preaching to the choir"!

http://www.goenglish.com/PreachingToTheChoir.asp

It has been about 25 years since I have had the typical school bullies, but I STILL remember it. HECK, I have memories from 2 months old, so I guess you can expect the memories from when I was about 17 years old to be stronger. So we can rant a lot also. 8-(

...And rightly so, Proteus. Behind every bully stands a coward

Well, I don't know what to say to that. Ignoring them actually worked for me.

And yes, you are preaching to the choir. But we're allowed to let off steam here, are we not?

Always demand that you deserve to live in "the adult world": this supposed to mean that you desire to solve problems rationally or that you would like to seek to know how. The favorable traits you can demand should be things like "effective communication" and "compassion".

Think of it this way: Maturity is when you do things without people telling you to. Its when you do things to cooperate.

Anything else in society is a many number of things: socially constructed and socially conditioned, authoratorian, a popularity contest, and the mindless ideal of endless intoxication to make them feel invincible.. then they go crazy so they committe crimes and abuse people even more.

To turn the other cheek would be more cowardly.

It's just that I thought that in college people were more mature. Boy was I wrong! Even some teachers join in on the teasing and stifled laughter whenever I walk past, and it hurts. It's getting increasingly difficult to attend college this way.

(and yes, I know I'm "preaching to the choir", and that all of you have had to deal with, and still deal with vermin on a daily basis. It's just a rant...)

I'm still having trouble with this.... at 33 I still manage to keep finding the WORKPLACE bully! They don't grow up, they just get older and more well-practiced in their bullying ways.

So far, I've yet to stand up to a workplace bully successfully. I've fought back, but they brought in their pack of devoted followers to all chant, "Crucify him!" so HR gets rid of me on a trumped up charge. And the bully grins like the Grinch.... and gets away with it - because it's unwritten corporate policy that management is exempt to any rules of conduct. "Just make the little people work - I don't care how."

If I could do it all over again, I would have stood up for myself and engaged the bully in a tongue-in-cheek argument in an effort to publicly demonstrate how clever I am by comparison. I reckon it's a tough one to pull, because if you were that articulate in speech, that witty, and that secure of yourself, you probably wouldn't be bullied in the first place. It's also worth noting that despite conventional wisdom, ignoring the bullies often makes things worse. Perhaps the key to stop the bullying is to put the self-centeredness aside, be more laid back, and beat the bully at his own game. (Easier said than done.)

About the teasing and stifled laughter of your professors, couldn't you possibly write a letter to student services explaining all this? Have you voiced your concerns to someone in a position of authority within the university?

There WAS a reason why I said "typical school bullies". I didn't simply say bullies, because the last time I dealt with someone acting like a bully was about a week ago. The pipsqueak jerk tried to make me think HE was responsible for something I was. They come to ME to get it fixed, the call ME the main contact, and I am the one that gets blamed/credited if it is done, but that pip squeak wants to think that HE is the head guy! MOST people that act like bullies have more of a case but, like I said, he is an IDIOT! He even wrote, in an email, that a non-sequitor was relevant, and he didn't even know the subject at all.

Corporate culture has some SERIOUS problems.

As for your case, there ARE laws in the US. Sadly, there are lots of loopholes, they can't protect against bad reviews/references, etc...

If it isn't difficult enough to stand up to one bully, you still have to deal with their ego-massaging devotees!



It's a very tough one to pull, because I'm not that articulate in speech. I can never think of the right words to say at the time. It just doesn't come naturally. I'm also really insecure, and it shows. Probably one of the major explanations to why I'm such an easy target. I've really got to work on these aspects, but like you said, it's easier said than done!



I'm seriously considering writing a letter of complaint. I've come to expect certain nasty comments from intellectually disabled peers but I never expected them from my professors. Aren't they supposed to be ethical? I guess it's my social naiveness getting in the way...
I'm going to request a class transference. I've had it.

Really, why hasn't bully been listed as a personality disorder yet?

It has - but only if it gets to the level of sociopath, by which point they're beyond help - mostly because they refuse to think there might be anything wrong with them and will refuse any and all forms of correction.

Even in college? Wow... my bullies mostly gave up after middle school. What university do you attend? Sorry, man, I know some of how you feel, but I can't imagine that kind of crap following me even past high school. Hoopefully it gets better for you, and you should try and get that professor in trouble- there's no way they're allowed to do stuff like that.

ignoring does not work for most of them,physical retaliation however-they can take seriously because a lot of them are cowards.
never understood people who carry knives,if they are so mighty...they would not need knives to do their job...wimps the lot of them.

I am sorry to say that I cannot help you..But I do understand what you are going thru.. At one school (boarding school) the bullies burned my letters.. And the teachers just told me that if I was more like the other ones, they would not bully me... They also told me that it was mosly my friend the students did not like and if she just quit school the other students would probably let me be, because I was quiet.. I looked at that teacher and said to her "I do not want to make friends with people who burn my letters".. I did not continue at that school.. Sure would like to tell you something more fun..but I cannot..

Tell me about it, Different! If someone was bullying me, teasing me, being rotten and cruel... why on earth would I want them to be my friend? They're still a crappy human being!