How to Sit Like an NT When You're Physically Uncomfortable?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know if I suffer from Reynaud's Phenomenon or if it's an ASD thing, but my hands are ALWAYS cold, and I hate rubbing them when they're cold (that's my weird little quirk), so I end up curling them in my elbows or wringing them in my hands, which makes me look... abnormal.

When you're in a classroom (or a desk), how do you manage to sit and position yourself (arms, legs, feet, etc) like everyone else when you just want to sit or slouch or curl up Aspie style because it's physically more comfortable?

Do you suffer for the sake of normalcy? I mean, NTs *must* get cold hands, and stomachaches, too! How do they manage? Or do you just give up and say "Fnck it, my hands are freezing, under my armpits they go..."

I usually give up, even though I know appearance is everything.

Even through college I never managed to sit like others. I have Raynaud's, to the point my fingers don't even work right when cold enough. I think other people have issues like this and just deal with it. For us, it's sensory hell because the "volume" is turned up on everything we feel.

My hands always get cold when I'm on the computer if the room temperature is below 74 degrees F. I usually get up and walk around when my hands get cold. If I can't do that I sit on my hands.

You can always touch other people on the back of the neck when your hands are cold. It gets a good reaction.

LOL

So I'm not the only perpetrator of icefinger-to-neck assault?

It gets a nice reaction, especially when my hands get cold enough to make popsicles if room temperature juice is poured in them.

I have problems sitting and looking natural too. If I have to sit anywhere outside home or my car, like in a social setting, which in itself is bad enough, I feel so awkward and everyone else looks so comfortable. I don't really get cold hands, I just don't know how to sit without either sitting up straight and looking like a board or slouching. Why can't everyone just be slouchers? It would make the world a better place.

i normally like sitting down with my arms grabbing the chair, i had to use the mouse otherwise my other arm would be paying attention

lol, I perpetually sit on my left foot, or fold up one or both legs in some fashion, or slouch. I half-lounge at home. I manage to suppress this bias waiting for job interviews and the like, and sometimes at restaurants -- but sitting straight isn't the way my body instinctively wants to arrange itself.

Same here, sitting up straight for me is a nightmare. I'm usually slouched over or leaning back really far. I think it has to with the fact that we are prone to having poor muscle tone. If I let all my muscles go limp I'm like a wad of jello. I can grab a heavy weight in my hand and let my arm swing back and forth like a pendulum.

To get really comfortable, like in my spot and in the zone, I have to curl one leg up indian style, bringing the other one folded up to my chest, and rest my chin on my knee. I have terrible posture.

I almost always sit indian-style. I will be in a fancy resturaunt and still slip my shoes off and tuck me feet up underneath me.
I worked at a montessiori school and walked out after the headmistress who was initially planning on screaming at me for being a little late screamed at me because when she told me to sit down so she could scream at me, I instinctively tucked up my feet.

To me standing still or walking is more an issue than finding the right way to sit. I dont usually sit as straight as some other people, but I can find a comfortable way of sitting without looking much awkward (I believe).

When Im walking, I always feel ackward no matter what I do. When Im alone I dont bother much, but when there's people around I always feel uncomfortable. I usually have my shoulders and my head bent forward looking at the ground most of the time, not because Im shy or anything, but because I find it easier that way to have inner thoughts without being visually distracted by my surroundings. As for what to do with my arms, thats the ultimate dilemma : my very first reflex is to keep my hands in my pockets (as Ive always done), but apperently most people are reluctant about people always having their hands in their pockets. For a short while I tried to break that habit and keep my arms lying straight on each side, but when I saw my reflection in a glass I felt like I was even more gooffy. So now Im back to "pockets mode".

The problem seems to be that when you're physically self-conscious (something common, if not universal, to aspies) no matter what you try you always kinda look funny.

To the OP, usually the abdomen is a nice warm spot of the body. I you wear a baggy shirt like a sweatshirt/hoodie, you might be able to stick you hands under your clothes and warm them up on your abdomen.

Aside from that... handwarmers.
There are knitted handwarmers like dancer's legwarmers that leave your fingers free to do what they need to.

There are handwarmers that come in packets. You open them up, shake them a little and they stay warm for around 8 hours.
I used to take these along for my survival students when we did our weekend trip into the hills.
I gave extra to a lady once who told me she had Reynaud's.

As far as the standing/walking issue...
You all made me remember back when I was a kid.
I would stand with my left arm behind my back, all the way around grasping my right arm where the elbow bends.
A neighborhood bully where my father lived made so much fun of the way I stood, I eventually quit doing it.

Since I wear skirts often (for those who don't know... I'm a guy ), like kilts, sarongs, plain old skirts, many of these don't have pockets I can stick my hands in when standing around people.
I find I'm uncomfortable because I start analyzing all the possible 'meanings' of my stance, to other people.
Like, if I cross my arms, am I being seen as 'stand-offish'? Do they think I'm bored, angry?
If I place my hands on my hips, do they think I'm impatient?
-I do this in pants and shorts too, but I have pockets to help out mostly-
For a while, I will just start monkeying their stance/posture. If the person in front of me puts one elbow in the palm of the other hand, raising the first hand up to grasp the chin (thinking pose), then I will do the same although I'll try to vary it slightly so as to not look like I'm actually copying them.