As A child, how did you react...

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To parental criticism and pressure?
My mother could be qute harsh and controlling in ways and would have very high expectations and would ignore me at times when I didnt do as she wanted.

I would react to such things by throwing things, including a full plate of food once, shouting 'I hate you', smashing my ornaments or things she had given me and slamming doors.

What about if your parent wanted to clean your room and moved things etc?

I hated that, made me very angry, as did the vaccuum cleaner.

Can't recall a time where any parents cleaned my room. I always did it.

My mother was also (and sometimes still is) harsh and controlling. As a child, I kept quiet and did my very best to avoid conflict until I could get out of that environment which I did at age 17.

Now, I don't tolerate inapproprate attempts to control me. She sent me a very nasty email a few days ago. My response included, "It is OK for you to make a single specific suggestion here and there. It is NOT acceptable for you to bombard me with a list of demands."

One problem is that she's trying to tell me that I'm very depressed and in a negative pit and need a shrink and that she'll pay for it. Her email included, "We will get you help and you must accept it."

Well..................

1. I am neither depressed OR negative.

2. I have zero desire to waste a minute of my precious time talking to any shrink.

3. How the heck would talking to a shrink be of ANY possible benefit to someone like me who doesn't interact well with people and can't communicate well verbally or through body language or facial expressions???

Wow Brittany2907,

I CAN RELATE! My mother moved things wrong also. That is the main reason I am not organised anymore.

I HATED restrictions, some lack of trust, etc... I bought a special torch once, and my mother wanted me to get rid of it. I would go into more detail, but it is too specific.

My mom (who was historically diagnosed as an aspie) got my diagnosis...

She's also one of the most rational women I know... if she wants me to do something, we ge tinto this logic argument and whoever has the strongest points wins... While it's usually her that wins these arguments (owing to my logic being "I didnt want to clean my room"), it is still important to point out that it was never the standard NT "I win because I'm the woman" argument...

The issue was never forced with me (thankfully), I did what I wanted, i.e., stay home from school when I wanted, no pressure to be who they wanted me to be, rather than who I am and what I want to be.

If I had the "usual" parents, rather than one who's completely understanding and empathetic, the other who was apathetic; I would have been picked up as autistic a long time ago, and what led me there wouldn't have been pretty. I tend to go a little "crazy" when I'm forced to do things I don't want to, forced to be who I'm not and whatever.

I'm apathetic too concerning many things; my room and whatnot. I don't care; so I didn't mind when my room was cleaned (I did a good enough job anyway), or my stuff was moved around, as long as it was respected how I respect it [or better], I didn't mind.

handling criticism is always difficult for me. a friendship is being tested right now, because of the way i' am handling it, and the passive/aggressive things that come out of me and hurt my friend's feelings. i am beginning to see what she's talking about, in that under stress/pressure (of my own making?) i will say things that are hurtful and stupid. lack of social skills and isolation have a lot to do with this, and i know there is probably more than a.s. involved. therapy is my only way to find alternatives and answers, because without them, i cannot begin to accept the limitations of a.s. and not feel i have done everything i could to help myself and stop the things that are hurting a friendship. some days it's so frustrating when i can't express anything and/or edit myself severely when i find myself doing 'aspie' things like parroting or missing social cues/layered thinking in discussions. these problems for me need to stop, and i wonder if it's one of those mini-'meltdowns' that happen dealing with a.s., or something else with it. being criticized is very hard for me, be it from a parent or a close friend.

My mom can often say things in a rather blunt way, which has the possibility of making me upset--- I just say she's being French ( where she's from--- they don't hide anything) and now it doesn't bother me that much. she has alot of problems, too--- let's just say psychiatric in nature. so I know she doesn't always mean to be so... well, harsh.
As a kid, though, it could really hurt--- i was super sensitive to criticism from others and still am--- I'm better at dealing with it and holding my feelings about it now.

Rage.

As an infant I shook the crib so hard - at the outrage of being discounted and forgotten - that it disintegrated. Broke. Kapish.

Later - temper tantrums - hours on end.


Later - breaking things, slamming doors, running away.


Later - promiscuity and self-destruction.

Later - resignation.

Later - forgiving.