Talking to people about your preoccupations

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Hi all,

Maybe i should introduce myself at first. My name is Tom, i'm 27 and i live in Antwerp, Belgium. I'm an aspergia-refugee.
I had a question on those (to the outside world often completely useless) strong interests we aspies tend to have. In dutch we have a word for it (preoccupatie), but i don't know the english term for it. Literally translated it should be preoccupations.
Well, my biggest preoccupation is a computergame called championship manager. I don't know if anyone of you knows this game, it comes down to managing a soccerteam.
It's almost the only thing i ever do: play, play, play.... You can play the game SO systematic and that's what i like about it. Also it is a very good reflection of the real football-world, but a little different, so i can make it my own football-world (don't know how to really explain this). The game is so detailled and accurate.
I've been playing this game for over ten years now, every year there's a new version of it (can't hardly wait 'till it's october again ) and i NEVER seem to get bored of it.
The thing is, i know a few people who also play the game, but nobody, just nobody seems te be as passionate about it as me. All i can really talk about is this game. My girlfriend even HATES it when i talk about the game (those were the exact words she used). When i'm not playing, i'm always thinking about the game, i dream about the game,...but yet i can 't talk about it to noone.
Does this often happen to you, that you can't talk about your preoccupations? Ans what do you do about it? It makes me feel like a freak and very, very uninteresting...

Hi, do you want to be called Tom or Alfonzo?

The word you are looking for is "obsession" in English. "Preoccupation" is pretty close, though.



Yes, this is almost the story of my life. I'm sorry to tell you that I've never heard of this Championship Manager game, but I can relate to your problems.

I'm never without some sort of obsession, currently, it's the character of Ayanami Rei from an anime called "Neon Genesis Evangelion," as well as Asperger's Syndrome. I think about both of these subjects almost constantly, and even have trouble sleeping because I can't stop thinking about them. I know other people who like Evangelion, but, as you said, they are not as interested as I am, and I know they get bored if I talk about it too much, or take it too seriously. It's very embarrassing for me, so I don't talk about my interests with people unless I know them very well.

So... what do I do about this problem? Fortunately for me, there is a rather large Evangelion fan-base on the internet. I have joined a couple of forums based around Evangelion discussion, and I have actually become somewhat respected at these forums for my knowledge of Ayanami Rei, as well as for my analytical way of looking at the other subjects in the anime. In forums, if people do not want to hear what you are saying, all they have to do is avoid reading the thread, so it only attracts people who are interested in the converstion, which is nice. I do all that I can to avoid putting people out by sounding like I am the high authority on all that is Ayanami Rei, but sometimes I think I may come across this way, unintentionally. On forums, however, it's a bit easier to repair things, because everyone has misunderstandings due to the lack of face to face communication (in other words, it's not just me having the misunderstandings, like in real life).
Obviously, I've found a place here at the WrongPlanet forums to discuss Asperger's.

I don't know how popular this Championship game is, but if you are able to find an online community interested in it, you will most likely meet more people like yourself who are really really into the game, and you will be able to discuss it with them there. I find forums wonderful tools, I'm able to express myself much more easily and openly in text, rather than verbally, and I think many others here feel the same way.

Can someone explain to me why so many are calling themselves Aspergia-refugee's? Including Alex, a refugee seemingly to be the driving force in he and his friends starting this forum?

LadyBug

To LadyBug: Aspergia.com was a major Aspie meeting ground that recently shut down their forums.

to all else: I have a huge obsession with X-Men. It's beyond funny. I deal by the fact that I have dozens of online friends who know all about them and that's what we talk about.

Thank you. That much I figured out already. I hope it didn't become as toxic as my experience and observations on a couple of Aspie partnership lists. It became slanderous and involved criminal in activity.

I'm still confused and can't believe the deep level of anger that is simmering to destroy Aspie dx'd men in divorce courts based on the Cassandra Syndrome. Of which I call it the "Cinderella Syndrome" and some women and men suffer from it, Aspie husband or not. Trying to make someone into the princess or prince charming they've always dreamed about. Failed love relationships can easily become mutually abusive, Asperger Syndrome or not.

LadyBug

Tom, welcome to WrongPlanet! My name is Tom and I turned 27 on July 17th. I live in Florida, southeastern U.S.A., but used to live in Massachusetts, northeastern U.S.A. in June 2000.

Thanks for the comments. I joined a few boards on CM before, but i did it mainly to get some networkgames. I talked to a lot of people during those games, but after a while i just wanted to play on my own again.

Sorry Tom, i got confused I turned 28 a few weeks ago, on July 16th. So that means you were born exactly 1 year and 1 day later than me. What a funny coincedence