"Just be yourself!" Yeah, right!

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Okay, who else has heard this phrase just everywhere in TV shows, movies, and books, but has never had anyone tell you this in real life? It's one of the most over-rated phrases I hear in the media. And whenever I do try to be myself (like what they're saying is best), something bad always happens! My mom's definitely never told me this phrase, seeing as though she wants me to change who I am. So anyway, who else has heard this phrase a billion times in the media, but never once from anyone close to you?

I dont think anyones told me this before, but I can relate with how something bad happens every time.

Lightning88, I think your mom just wants you to grow.

Aspies tend to reject lessons from their past, kids forever you know. Just try to adapt yourself to society in any way you can.

Be brave,
Be strong,
and when all else fails, be a little naughty

THAT MEANS YOU USERNAME PERK UP A LITTLE!

Well, they never give the whole phrase. It's "Just be yourself my way or I won't like you". Make sense now?

Yes...have heard this phrase very very often and had it said to me lots by relatives.
The things is that I am being myself, and they are telling me to "just be myself" which is confusing.

Why would I want to reject lessons from my past? It's because the lessons have too often been part of someone else's deception, head games designed to hurt me.

There are no headgames!! !!

Our shared problems are the result of personal issues, lack of focus, lack of controll, lack of understanding.

Remnant, the reason you've been hurt is becuase you let people hurt you. Comments like that attract attention.

The feelings of deception are the effect. The language is the cause. Growth is the response.

It's an erroneous statement.

Whoever you are; you are you.

An aspie on this board said that she want NT's to know how aspie's bend, crawl trying to adapt to this world. You are yourself. You can grow and develop and learn some skills, but you are you. You are special and you are precious. Find support here and hold on to the gifts that make you unique.

And if I sound like Danielismyname, I wrote things like that to him before he came into the light.

Can I us your words in my signature, Daniel?

If I want to act like someone else then I am still being myself because I am still doing what I want to do, even if it is acting like other people, I am still being me. I hate that saying. I get prickly whenever someone says it. This is usually how I respond.

Other person: Be yourself, man
Me: F--- yourself, man
Other person: F--- your mom
Me: Go f--- a pencil sharpener

I agree with being oneself (despite the semantic redundancy of the statement).

I think all people should have a right to act in accordance to who they are. But I think it takes a long time, especially for those of us with AS to find how much of ourselves is going to lead to problems and also how to alter our environment and prepare those around us to accept the person that we are.

It took me about 30 years to get the world to fit in fairly harmoniously with me "being myself". And both the world and the "myself" I'm trying to be has adapted and compromised and reached a happier medium than when I was younger.

If that doesn't make sense, there's always the I Huckabees existentialist approach...

"How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How am I not myself?..."

To me, the term "Just be yourself!" is a direct translation of "I can't think of any advice to give you, so I'm just going to cut corners and tell you your on your own."

For the most part, I think you're right.

I think lephermessiah and MysteryFan3 summed it up very nicely. When NTs tell you to be yourself, they either can't think of any other advice, or are subtly telling to change your personality. So next time someone tell you to be yourself, keep that in mind.

The advice to "just be yourself" I think is usually given for things like sales or talks to groups, and is supposed to be to relax you to sy you are ok, and shouldn't act. If you do act, there is more to contend with, and it can be daunting. Frankly, I don't think anyone ever follows that advice. If someone seems intimidating though, I might just see them in an embarrasing state(like in their underwear) to get over it.

"Just be yourself " seems to be one of those feel-good phrases they tell you to make you feel like someone special and good--- a way to keep the masses happy and productive. but when someone really does be themselves, it invites scorn and possibly more depending on who it is being themselves ( face it, some people find it more acceptable socially than others to be themselves).