If you are NT, how do you deal with autism/aspergers?

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I'm going to say this. I have nowhere to vent about frustrations. I don't mean to offend and lump all NT's together. There are nice people, neutral people, bullies and you can be viewed of as normal and be viewed of as abnormal but still be nice, neutral or a bully. So when I vent about "Nt's" it's only a specific type. I've had very little contact with others that have autism or aspergers so I have had more time observing NT's than anything.

So anyway onto the questions for NT's.

Let's say you are in a work enviroment. You start to pick up that someone may have a form of autism how do you respond?

1. You quickly understand that the person needs help and you help

2. You think the person is just acting that way because they want you to do things for you and you find it embarassing

3. You do nothing in hopes they will get fired. Hey more money for you cha ching!


You spot someone out in a restaurant alone, how does that make you feel?

1. It's none of my concern. I don't stare and just mind my own business

2. I feel sorry for them. Why are they alone for?

3. I say mean things about them to my friends. If they are alone it's because they are weird


You hire someone for a technical job. They don't obey your step by step rules of how to problem solve but the end results are the same and the job gets done on time. How would you respond?

1. That's great. I don't mind as long as the job gets done

2. I try to tell them it's not the way you do it. I give them another week after training some more.

3. If they can't be bothered to do it our way, then they are fired



You and someone else you just met are eating. You are smacking and they pull out ear plugs or start fidgeting, how do you repsond?

1. My smacking is bothering them, they are doing what they need to do so I accept it and continue eating

2. Oh whatever. My smacking isn't that bad.

3. I wait till they put in their earplugs then I bang plates together in an attempt to get them to take out their earplugs



You have a friend. You tell them you want to take them out shopping for 3 hours. They decline and have declined your shopping spree attempts every single time. How do you respond?

1. Don't think much of it and either ask what they would like to do or just go do my shopping alone or with someone else.

2. The person is getting on your nerves and you debate on whether to call them again.

3. You've had it with this person's failure to join you on your shopping sprees and you end all communication to teach them a lesson.



If anyone else would like to add onto questions asked or answer them feel free.

You forgot a question:

Why did you lie on this survey?

1. I feel ashamed for my behavior and don't want to admit it.
2. Its only a lie if you get found out. Appearance is everything after all.
3. I like to make people think I'm a nice person so I can convince myself they're right and I don't feel as bad when I treat people like dirt.
4. Lying is fun!

I'm AS, but I'm going to throw in a couple of points:
Your questions would be a lot less patronising if you didn't make them multiple choice. I know plenty of people who I don't believe would react in any of the ways you list in those situations, it kind of feels like you're picking different varieties of bad, and not giving any good choices, at least for some of the questions. Most people's reactions are more complex than the choices you give, too.
Secondly, specifically in reference to your first question, most people either know nothing about autism and Asperger's or so little that they'd likely never make the connection. Thus the question is kind of meaningless to most NTs.
Third, you're "smacking?" What does that mean?

Your questions really sound like you're saying "You NTs are intolerant morons and I hate you, please tell me for which reason I should hate you." It's... not a very helpful attitude.

You know, NTs have a term for those people too. We call them "immature a**holes." And yes, I get pretty darn tired of being lumped in with them all the time.

In any case, your first question is entirely too vague. If I could tell the person had a disability I'd try to understand, but a lot of AS symptoms look like being a jerk, and I'm not really inclined to bend over backwards to help people when they're being jerks to me (and statistically speaking, there are more jerks in the world than people with AS). And yes, some people I *do* wish they would get fired, because they're bad at their jobs and make it harder for me to do mine. If someone can do their job, I have no problem with them.

If the person weren't obviously doing something (like reading/working on a laptop) I'd feel a little bad because I personally don't like going out to eat alone and I would imagine myself being in that position, but that doesn't mean I would stare at them or talk about them.

For the third question, if the job gets done as fast or faster than it would, I would ask them how they did it so I could do it the same way. If they did it "on time" meaning it was finished at the absolute last minute, then that might be a problem, because the deadline to complete the same type of project might be shorter next time.

Fourth, I don't smack, but if I noticed someone fidgeting or pulling out ear plugs, I'd ask if they were okay. Though I have to wonder, if the person's ASD is that severe, why did they go out to lunch with me?

Fraya:
And you say *we* make untrue and demeaning generalizations about *you*?

sorry if you are offended, it wasn't my intent. I didn't know making multiple choices would be so offensive.

I'm awful sometimes at trying to make light of an observation or situation to the point to where instead of inputting humor in with something serious it angers people. I guess I'm really trying to figure out ways that we can all learn more about each other through our barriers. I don't always do this in a "cool" manner or the right way or the way it had been originally intended. Labels are descriptives to shorten conversation time and not correct so due to vagueness it misrepresents the broader scale but come to think of it, can you name a single person that does not shorten their descriptive terms and has included every single situational event that could come of the hypothetical questions? I shorten it up because I'm sure since this is a forum, you don't want to read a novel....or do you?

Im sorry i dont understand.
Could you explain why the NTs only get 3 options ?
Is it like a trick a question ?

NT’s treat everyone differently for the most part. Everyone is unique and should be treated uniquely. These answers, of course, are options not provided, and would also depend on the person I was dealing with, but for the most part are how I have handled things in the past.

Q1 Let's say you are in a work environment. You start to pick up that someone may have a form of autism how do you respond?


4. I would do tons of research to find compensatory strategies that could be implemented to ensure they were able to perform their work duties. Help, of course, whenever they needed it. Enable? No, that’s not fair to the person. Everyone can learn, it just takes time to try to become accustomed to someone’s learning style.

BTW, I work with people who have both diagnosed and undiagnosed AS who are out of the closet. We all work together as a community to get the work done. If a NT or AS is going on a tangent not picking up subtle hints that I cannot stop and talk because I am on my way to the bathroom, late for a meeting, have a limited lunch break, etc, I find nothing wrong with interrupting and redirecting that we will continue the conversation later, as I have to pee, I am hungry, I am embarrassingly late, etc.

Q2 You spot someone out in a restaurant alone, how does that make you feel?

4. I don’t think twice as there are times I dine out alone because it’s a break from chatty friends and an opportunity to meet new and interesting people, even if I will never see them again.

Q3 You hire someone for a technical job. They don't obey your step by step rules of how to problem solve but the end results are the same and the job gets done on time. How would you respond?

4. As long as they are not overstepping federal regulations, company policies (that in spite of being ridiculous and making no sense, they are there to protect your butt and keep things “consistent” in the event of an audit), I love when someone figures out another way to do something. Variety keeps life from getting boring. However, if you are going to not follow step by step instructions, consult with the person and recommend another way, and check if you are required to follow a protocol or if their step by step instructions are more or less helpful guidelines. ESPECIALLY TECHNICAL JOBS!! !

Q4 You and someone else you just met are eating. You are smacking and they pull out ear plugs or start fidgeting, how do you respond?

4. If I were smacking I would shoot myself. I would also expect someone to shoot me if I chewed with my mouth opened, snapped my gum or crunched something loudly. Confront them. I had to learn how to confront smackers, but it paid off because they were embarrassed and my ears got a rest. If I saw someone sitting across from me fidgeting, I would ask if they were ok, ask if there was something I could do, etc.

Q5 You have a friend. You tell them you want to take them out shopping for 3 hours. They decline and have declined your shopping spree attempts every single time. How do you respond?

4. I have this friend. She hates shopping. I have resolved this by buying her things while I am out, bringing them to her house, letting her pay for and keep what she likes and returning items she doesn’t want. That way when I invite her to go out she can’t decline because she has nothing to wear.

I also make myself available to go with her for less time since 3 hours would stress her beyond belief, but she has to initiate the shopping invitation. And she does. And it works. And that’s what friends do, work within someone’s tolerance limitations.